Recovery Board
: RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum.
Just came out of the "apostate closet" to my little brother (who has never been active). This is what I wrote him:
"as you probably remember, for the past year or so, I've been having some "testimony" issues regarding "the Church" (mostly dealing with Joseph Smith boinking teenagers and worse). Stuff I really had no clue about.
it's been getting worse the last month or so. I've told [my wife] and, suprisingly, she has been cool about it, even admitting she has her doubts.
she pretty much knows I no longer think this is "the one true church" and knows that I'm even thinking about atheism and/or agnosticism. Hell, I might become a buddhist. OR, just continue going to church on my own terms.
Anyway, here's the secret -- ....at the company picnic, I drank a little wine. just one. At work, I took a little coffee, just one. tonight, I ate at the local college bar -- 25 cent chicken wings and a pint of Bud. For a smaller framed guy like me, that's all I need. I have a happy buzz and I'm ready to go to bed. Pretty much, I have zero guilt. I think the church is a bunch of BS and I'm a little pissed that I spent two frickin' years of my life as a missionary.
BUT, on the flip side, I'm happy I found [my wife] and my kids resulted from this marriage. I guess like you, no matter how this turns out, I'll always be Mormon.
Anyway, I thought I would share it with you -- I actually think I'm becoming a more moral person. I realize more and more that I've been a self righteous prick (to you especially, but mostly years ago, I think) because of my faith and I've beat myself up for not being good enough and I've been good only because I feared divine retribution. Now, I'm being good because it is the rational, right thing to do.
I'll take you out for a beer when I get back. All on the house. I love you man."
"as you probably remember, for the past year or so, I've been having some "testimony" issues regarding "the Church" (mostly dealing with Joseph Smith boinking teenagers and worse). Stuff I really had no clue about.
it's been getting worse the last month or so. I've told [my wife] and, suprisingly, she has been cool about it, even admitting she has her doubts.
she pretty much knows I no longer think this is "the one true church" and knows that I'm even thinking about atheism and/or agnosticism. Hell, I might become a buddhist. OR, just continue going to church on my own terms.
Anyway, here's the secret -- ....at the company picnic, I drank a little wine. just one. At work, I took a little coffee, just one. tonight, I ate at the local college bar -- 25 cent chicken wings and a pint of Bud. For a smaller framed guy like me, that's all I need. I have a happy buzz and I'm ready to go to bed. Pretty much, I have zero guilt. I think the church is a bunch of BS and I'm a little pissed that I spent two frickin' years of my life as a missionary.
BUT, on the flip side, I'm happy I found [my wife] and my kids resulted from this marriage. I guess like you, no matter how this turns out, I'll always be Mormon.
Anyway, I thought I would share it with you -- I actually think I'm becoming a more moral person. I realize more and more that I've been a self righteous prick (to you especially, but mostly years ago, I think) because of my faith and I've beat myself up for not being good enough and I've been good only because I feared divine retribution. Now, I'm being good because it is the rational, right thing to do.
I'll take you out for a beer when I get back. All on the house. I love you man."
I like that. You and I think alike.