Posted by:
FreeAtLast
(
)
Date: October 25, 2010 01:55AM
The more you pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, desires, impulses, dislikes, etc., the stronger the relationship you develop with yourself. Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves over time (ref.
http://members.shaw.ca/blair_watson/).
As the website explains, cultic Mormonism did not allow you, me, or millions of other people to simply experience life AS IT WAS and develop our ability to think, judge and be resourceful in order to adapt. We were 'programmed' by the LDS Church to regard good things that happened as 'blessings' from the Mormon sky-god, 'Heavenly Father', and 'bad' things as either punishments from 'the Lord' or 'Satan' gaining power over us because we'd been 'unrighteous'. Such 'programming' was (is) a major mind-f*ck.
People like to explore, which is what you've been doing. Just look at infants, toddlers and small children! They go exploring every day! New toys, new cupboard doors to try to open, new plastic dishes to try to put lids on, etc., etc. Curiosity is a natural, healthy part of who we are.
Cultic Mormonism, however, shuts down curiosity. A cup of coffee is 'bad' and trying wine is, well, breaking the Word of Wisdom! OMG! She's had a glass of white wine and now she's sipping on some cabernet! He tried some dark ale and is now ordering a shot of Tequila! Crisis! Crisis! 'Satan' is taking over!! Sound the alarm! Start up the guilt-tripping! Break out the 'spiritual fear'! Kill her/his curiosity!!
Sounds like you drink socially. Hundreds of millions of people do too. If you can't get through a day or two or even a few without a drink, then you have a problem. If that's the case, talk to your family doctor. There's lots of info. online about alcoholism (ref.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcoholism). If you have an issue with alcohol, deal with it. There's nothing to be ashamed of, if that's the case. If not, don't worry about it.
As we explore different aspects of life after Mormonism (e.g., trying alcoholic beverages, sex, etc.), we 'organically' learn what works for us as an individual and what doesn't, which is fundamentally the process that children, teenagers and adults experience. We learn as we go. Gaining experience is good and learning is good. The key is to learn to be wise. We do that by educating ourselves (i.e., taking the time to become more aware) and thinking about the consequences of our decisions and actions. Drinking 20 oz. of whiskey in one go is going to make the drinker sick - a bad consequence). OK. Don't drink so much next time. No guilt-tripping is needed. Simply decide to make a better decision next time, and do so.
If you're willing to learn and grow as a person, you'll be fine.
Best wishes!