I am stunned now to discover how much like wild fire this whole Morg concept of "no sleepovers" for youth is spreading! I did some research and I guess the idea has been floating around for sometime, but now with Larry's talk in General Conference the genie is out of the bottle.

I mean, listening to these people talk about it, fearing that somehow by sleeping over a friends how their children are now placed in some precarious position, exposed to things or discuss things they can't get access at three in the afternoon!

It's ludicrous! Or is this some homophobic thing, fearing that sleeping over a friend of the same gender's house is going to convert their kids to the dark side!?

Good parents know where their kids are and who they are with. If their kids are staying at a friend's house, parents need to know the family and know that they are responsible people. That is good sense, although I don't see what it has to do with religion. Banning sleepovers completely is a gross over reaction. Sure kids can get in trouble at sleepovers, but the same things can happen at home, school or church. Kids are creative about finding ways to get around the rules and do what they want.One more example of micromangement from the GAs. Crap like this is one of the reasons I left. Has anyone ever heard stuff like this from the pulpit of other mainstream churchs? I doubt it.The thing that is troubling is that people are going to take this as a freaking commandment instead of the opinion of one old crank.

1. No mixed sleepovers

2. Know the family well if you let your child stay there overnight.

3. Lay out the rules in advance.

4. Keep them small with only about four kids. Even numbers usually get along better than odd.

5. Plan some fun activities like baking cookies, games everyone likes, good movies they want to see.

5. Don't let kids go to sleepover mormon church campouts.

What ever happened to FREE WILL and God's plan to prove ourselves worthy. If we have church leaders telling us EVERYTHING we can and cannot do - how do mortals learn in this life?

Salleeeeee Wrote:
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> What ever happened to FREE WILL...

They sold it to build a mall.

Is not to leave anyone alone, anytime. You are to be under control and supervision of the cult at all social events.

I know a few people that let their kids do it. I don't think I would feel comfortable enough to do that in my home.

Other than that, if you know the parents and have guidelines set out with your kids I think it is a great thing.

I'd be leery of mixed sleepover unless we are talking about very little kids, but otherwise I don't see a problem so long as the parents supervise.

11-13 and 15+. The parents told me a lot of people had them. I dunno. I would not want to be responsible.

My best memories are at sleepovers at my TBM friend's house with her family. Her mom always took us toilet papering!

I'll have to ask my TBM friend what she thinks of this new rule!

I just did a search of the conference talks and could not find this. Who said it?

"Elder Lawrence warned parents about ... allowing children to spend nights away from home. He warned that too often, violations of the Word of Wisdom, law of chastity, and exposure to pornography and sometimes even encounters with the police occur when spending a night away from home.
...

"'Peer pressure becomes more powerful when our children are away from our influence, and when their defenses are weakened late at night. If you have ever felt uneasy about an overnight activity, don't be afraid to respond to that warning voice inside. Always be prayerful when it comes to protecting your precious children.'"

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/700070675/Elder-Larry-R-Lawrence-Courageous-parenting.html

It was horrible! They are now happily married, productive people who care about themselves and others. Whatever you do -- DON'T let your children sleepover at someone else's house. The results could be as terrible as mine were.

I have reluctantly allowed my children to sleep over in the past. I would much rather the children sleep at our house, that way I know what they are up to. I really don't trust many people with my children, especially Mormons. They go upstairs, shut their door and don't come out until morning.

The problem with Mormons, is that they will listen only because it was spoken in conference. Sometimes a good idea is just a good idea, in my opinion. I don't need some suit to tell me.

You should read the thread on BBC about sleep overs. I was surprised at the creepy stuff that happens at LDS sleep overs, it's like they go bat shit crazy at sleep overs.
http://community.babycenter.com/post/a24549981/sleepover_talked_about_in_gc

Sounds like someone had their hand placed in warm water or had the shaving cream prank pulled on them at a sleepover as a kid and are carrying the vendetta into adulthood.

I'm a never-mo/lapsed Catholic. I have friends who are mainstream Catholic/Christian who don't seem opposed to sleepovers as long as the numbers are kept small. Usually my friends generally recruit another mom friend help out as a chaperone, but I'd figure the whole sleepover thing would be common sense. You don't know the parent/not comfortable with them, etc. it's a no go.

Hi, long time reader first time commenter here. My anthro prof turned me onto this website when we discussed cults in class.

krashtastik Wrote:
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> Sounds like someone had their hand placed in warm
> water or had the shaving cream prank pulled on
> them at a sleepover as a kid and are carrying the
> vendetta into adulthood.
>
> I'm a never-mo/lapsed Catholic. I have friends
> who are mainstream Catholic/Christian who don't
> seem opposed to sleepovers as long as the numbers
> are kept small. Usually my friends generally
> recruit another mom friend help out as a
> chaperone, but I'd figure the whole sleepover
> thing would be common sense. You don't know the
> parent/not comfortable with them, etc. it's a no
> go.
>
> Hi, long time reader first time commenter here.
> My anthro prof turned me onto this website when we
> discussed cults in class.


Right. It is common sense and banning them atogether is beyond ridiculous. Besides. TSCC is so busy telling people not to get tats, double piercings, have sleepovers,to cut their hair, wear white shirts, not to wear flip flops ad infinitum, they have no time left to devote to religion. I really don't need to have some church authority tell me to brush my teeth and take my vitamins in order to to do so. Geez! I do have a brain.

"Geez! I do have a brain."

having one's own brain is a liability when the thinking has already been done.

Some of my favorite memories are of sleepovers with friends whom I am lucky enough to still call friends. We still do sleepovers, but as an adult, they usually consist of staying at a vacation home and going out on the town. As a kid, it consisted of scary stories, eating junk food, watching chick flicks, and giggling about boys.

None of the friends whose houses I slept over at were Mormon, but we NEVER did anything that would violate anything about the church. This wasn't because they were all goody-two-shoes, it was because we were kids being kids.

How sad it is when the church has to attack a normal kid activity forcing Mormon kids to become more secluded and less sociable.

Thanks Rebeckah! :-)

Yeah, it blows my mind about taking away the freedom of choice. FIL & MIL are exmos (he & the wife converted at 18, left at 21 because he refused to be a sinner for enjoying his beer & coffee were his words. my mil... I'm pretty sure would if it wasn't for alcohol being verboten, she'd be one hard core believer-especially when it comes to the family schtick. She likes to think of her time as a Mormon as a Hallmark channel movie and thinks it's the greatest deal on earth.)

Why the isolation? Are they really that insecure about losing control over their members?

The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.

Just sayin.

I totally agree with you, kookoo4kokaubeam. Kids will do what they do. You can give them guidance and educate them, but if you forbid something, it becomes very enticing. Kids can and will get around every rule you make if they really want to.

This is pathetic! What an exotic cult. They seem to have nowhere else to run to, and are now trying desperately to do something that will turn the tide, no matter how silly it is. It's unbelievable how mature adults with good educations and unlimited access to information conform to this.

A TBM woman I know calls what her kids have "late-overs", where everyone goes home at 10pm.

I think they're concerned about priesthood holders, i.e., dads and older brothers, getting accused of molestation. I think the Catholic Church scandals have the Mo-thorities very scared. The big question is, however, why it's okay for Boy Scouts to have overnight camping trips, but it's not okay to have sleepovers.

No sleepovers has been SOP in my area of Utah County for years. Some SP made a statement about them and the TBMs all obeyed.

As never-mos, our girls continued to have them. The TBM girls would get picked up by a parent about 10pm and then return for breakfast the next morning. Of course, they had missed all the fun.

Nothing ever happened that would not have met church standards and all my children have grown up to be great people.

I guess all overnight scout campouts are out...

Ditto for overnight girl campouts....

And Youth Conference sleepovers...especially in people's homes.

and sleeping in a room with a missionary companion....

Soon BYU will be nothing but single unit dorms....

Sounds like a good idea to me.

LOL.

They are strong Catholic people. My parents let us play all day on our bikes, riding around the neighborhood. We had to be relatively close to home. We NEVER got to have a sleepover.

I did let my kids have sleepovers, but I wasn't fond of allowing them.

If I had to do it over again, my kids would not attend sleepovers at all. I always had uncomfortable feelings about them. You just never know what is going to happen in somebody's home.

I did not mind hosting one, but I hated having my kids go to one.

I'm not too conservative person, but I am not in favor of them. We do not know what happens in our neighbors home.

I slept over all the time at friends' homes when I was growing up. I found it such a release to just get away from the oppressive atmosphere of my tbm home. The only time I didn't enjoy it was when I stayed at another TBM home where the dad glared me down for sitting on my heels while we all knelt for family prayer. I was forced to kneel in that sort of position where you're like standing on your knees instead of using your heals or calves to rest your butt on. I had to stay like that while he delivered the longest evening prayer I had ever endured.

It was worse than listening to the bishop give closing prayer after fast and testimony meeting. I think it lasted a good 20 minutes and I was ready to die. The whole time I was wondering what he'd do if one of his kids ever needed to pee in the middle of his prayer. If they'd be allowed to raise their hands and take a quick break, and if he'd drone on or if he'd halt and wait for them to return. More likely he'd guilt trip their heads into believing they were the spawn of Satan for having to pee in the middle of his epic saga to Jesus.

Oh, and this post was the first I had heard about this new stance on sleep overs. Pretty dumb, imho.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/09/2010 01:13AM by vhainya.

We just had a sleepover for my daughter (not in Utah) who just turned 12. The movies watched were coordinated with parents to make sure they were commonly appropriate. One of the girls has a school vocal solo and ensemble contest this morning, so they were all asleep before midnight. It all seems pretty benign because we had age appropriate controls, and we have the expectation that they act responsible (we don't sweat the small stuff).

I shared with DW this topic and the conversation on babycenter. She, a convert and exmo was appalled. After talking about it we came to the conclusion that it is probably a very good idea that mormon families do not have sleepovers amongst themselves as too much reliance on magical protection that does not really exist, and all of the repression created "interests" creates an environment for disaster. But because the morg is the morg, they don't see the prohibition is a band-aid on a much larger problem.

On the lighter side: DW told me of a friend in DFW area who was acting all upset a couple of months ago, but would not say what was up because it was so bad and they decided as a family not to tell _anyone_.

Well after a day of her constantly talking around it, she could not stnd not tell anyone, and confided in DW.

The prohibition against sleepovers has been on their stake's "litmus test of special worthiness" (TM) for awhile now, but they decided they would only allow sleepovers at "their" house, as they were the only parents with divine guidance and could make it a safe experience (My words not theirs-ha).

Well the boys left the house in the middle of the night to meet up with another group of boys, some sort of smack down challenge or something. Well the other boys did not show up, but gave a tip to the cops and the group of non-mormon, with one mormon kid, with magical discerning parents, got picked up and brought home for breaking curfew.

So they were not upset that the cops were involved, but because it would get out that they had a sleepover and it went poorly. How terrible it would be to be placed on the righteousness "B" list and be forced to hold only the "lesser callings" for the rest of their mortal toil.

Oh, and this is the same gal who asked DW if she was concerned about the size of our boy's private parts? "How the hell would I know about that, I have not seen them since they were little?" I guess the men in that house always walk around naked in the open family spaces. I always enjoy the contradictions in life. In our skeptical household, we had a meltdown when mom saw one of our teens in his underwear (The A/C kicked on and blew his bedroom door open just as mom was walking by).