Good afternoon and happy Easter.
I was known as "exconvertinAZ" and decided to change my name to "ChooseTheReasonble" for now. I like that phrase. Some of you know my back story about being baptized for a short 2 months. I got mixed up with the Mormons because I was new to the area, going through rough times, and wanted to make new friends. I resigned my membership less than 2 months after baptism. Easter of 2013, I went to a Catholic mass to "rebel" and never returned to TSCC.
I grew up in a Protestant church. Since leaving TSCC, I completely lost my testimony in God. As a Protestant, I was happy as a Christian taking whatever worked for me and applying it. Whatever I disagreed with, I would just disregard. I feel that my bad experience in the TSCC stripped me of the ability to even accept that God exists. I have no testimony or belief in God and sometimes, I feel that I am an atheist. It makes me sad because if I did believe, I would be happier.
I went to Easter service at a Presbyterian church to hear Handel's Messiah. (Classical) music is my slim testimony that this is how we communicate with God. Allelujah is so beautiful and something in me felt so wonderful when I was listening to it, today and I was brought to tears whenever the choir sang at church.
Right now, I am watching a beautiful Easter Day Choral High Mass Easter service from 2012 at St. Thomas the Apostle Episcopal Church in CA on YouTube. The music is so stunningly beautiful and if there is a God, then my way to "have a testimony" is through the music that composers like Bach and Handel composed for the churches, centuries ago. I should mention that I play the piano and today inspired me to sit at my keyboard and play again... maybe find that as a way to try and "talk to God"?
I'd like to share some music with you:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxcbXvJF8bs (especially around 1:04:45) That soprano is amazing.
I'm working to get my faith back... my faith in that humanity is good with examples like Jesus' works and teachings.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/20/2014 05:51PM by ChooseTheReasonable.

The music written by composers like Bach and Handel truly are amazing and beautiful. It is beautiful things like art and music that further strengthen my beliefs in God. They can be so awe-inspiring and angelic. I am glad you felt inspired to play again. The piano is one of my favorite instruments along with cello and violin.

I don't trust anyone anymore who claims to have all of the answers, whether it be with religion or other things in life. I think we all have to find our own truths. If music inspires you and makes you feel closer to God, then run with it. If going to a church brings you comfort, whether or not you believe it all, then go. Make up your own rules and try to find comfort in the things that make you happy.

I love music. I played several instruments before I had kids and became too involved with motherhood and callings. Now that I have more time because I no longer go to church, I would love to pick it up again. I remember being so uplifted when I played.