I read your post this morning but couldn't do much of a reply from work, on my phone.

I hope you didn't freeze and that things turned out at least somewhat OK for you. That was an awful situation you posted about -- sounds like you're on the vacation from hell, with a guy to match.

If he threatens to just "drop you off somewhere" in the freezing weather, he can get arrested for that -- particularly since you're vacationing. You may choose not to call the cops even if he did make good on his threats, but it might be useful leverage in any "discussion" with him.

You're in a survival situation right now, and while it might be great in theory to "stand up to him" and "tell him to f$#& off," do whatever you must to get through the trip and get back home.

Abusers are very good at creating situations where they have the power and control and you're left out in the cold (literally) -- plus they scare, intimidate, guilt, and disorient you. Contempt and disgust, followed by demands for sex, is a common behavior.

Focus on observing what he does from as neutral an emotional place as you can possibly achieve. It will help you stay grounded if you practice separating your feelings from the behavior that's going on: "Oh, look, he's telling me how disgusted he is with my lack of support."

Then, document everything that happens on this trip either in writing or with a voice recording app on your phone. Keep it for later. Sometimes if there's a lull in the abuse, it's tempting to believe that "it's not so bad," "he's getting better," or "I can deal with it." When you start to feel like that, re-read your posts here and whip out that notebook or recording.

I'm sending out lots of hugs and warm positive energy. Keep us posted!

Glad you made it home safely.

I hear you about food on the table. I had to live with my abusive husband for almost a year after he demanded divorce -- because he controlled everything and I'd just received my degree, I didn't have a choice. As each day went by, I thought, "That's one less day I'll have to deal with him." I found a low-paying job, then a better one. I got a lawyer. Eventually, I was able to get out. Life is much, much better.

You can do it, too -- one step at a time.

He may be able to get the kids all excited about church stuff for now, but eventually the novelty will wear off. Kids rarely manage to stay excited about it, even here in the Morridor where the acculturation and pressure are intense. When they're older and with you, you can show them a more sane way to live and teach them some critical thinking skills.

Hang in there.

+1. I also wanted to add that divorce is scary before you actually do it. After that, you will wonder why you stayed so long (I've been through it twice) Don't let him intimidate you.

I a SO glad you are okay love. I understand the need to stay until you can leave with the financial support you need for you and the kids. Its not about winning the little battles, its about winning the war, and getting yourself out of there when you can.

I am not sure what it is you are trying to say about Facing Tao. And who has the right to judge anything? If she/he is being supporting and helpful, I am really glad. YOu need all the support you can get.

No disapproval here, dear. Two thumbs way up for any support and help Facing Tao gives you.

I didn't say anything about the temple thing because other people had it covered. But I'm still pulling for you.

You've got to plan for the future, but I hope you'll find ways to take care of yourself now, too.

It has nothing to do with approval. It's concern because we don't want anything bad to happen. It's easy for some of us on the outside that would not take it well and some that have been through the situation and we are all concerned.

Obviously. I wasn't coming from a snarky point of view. You let us read everything and it's natural to be concerned. I am sure you are intelligent and was never guessing. As for your friend on here, no clue who it is and I have no opinion, I wasn't talking from that angle. I am glad you have someone to talk to. for your sake I will no longer be concerned for you and hope you have a nice life. You obviously have a problem with me being human and giving a damn about someone I don't know. Good luck to you.

I was misunderstood. It's okay, partially my fault. I post from my phone mostly and I have a love/hate relationship with it because I tend to say the most in the shortest amount of words. I think that can alter my tone and sometimes the overall point of what I try to say. I'll try to do better at being complete with my intent.

I am glad you are ok. You are in my thoughts and I send good vibes. I know you know what you are doing and I wasn't trying to judge you or make you feel that way.

I HATE posts, stories that put men in a bad light, even tho they might be truthful.


I haven't begun to tell the totality of what happened to me, probably never will, with context.

I believe that men have More Pressure in moorland, work, phood, other. Walking Wallet, Peter Priesthood. If Mormonism was "true", it wouldn't SUCK as bad as it does!

Ya know, I agree with you. I think women are more repressed and controlled but the pressure is on the men to reinforce that, and a lot of men just aren't controlling and or dominating, so it goes against their nature to be pressured to do so. Of course, some dudes take right to that, but I think most men don't want to always be the Alpha all the time. This reinforces my notion that patriarchy is just as damaging to men as it is to women.

Strawberry, everything I've read about your DH from your various posts sounds like you need to dump him on his rear and move on. Let him and the CULT be in your rear view mirror.

Yesterday, I wrote to you but my computer suddenly updated and wiped away the reply.

Wanted to let you know that I'm just like you about not wanting to drive around strange cities where I don't know the territory. I have a slight learning disability that makes it difficult to keep my bearings and sense of direction in new places. I'm afraid of getting hopelessly lost or ending up in a dangerous area if I venture into uncharted territory.

Don't feel bad about not wanting to drive in a strange place. You're not alone.

Take heart and continue to take care of yourself and your kiddies. You're doing well.

You are strong, you can do this, just keep your eyes on the future and your freedom.