I had previously told my mom and dad I am going to resign from the Mormon church. They both said that they understand and they will support me in my decisions. Well, so much for that…The next day when my mom saw my resignation letter sitting on my desk she called me in to her room and did everything she could to convince me to not go through with it. She tried to convince me I am throwing away “great opportunities” by resigning. I finally got it out of her that my resigning wasn’t about me it was about her. She doesn’t want to cause any conflict between her and her new bishop and she doesn’t want to deal with the judgments her mom (my grandma) will inflict upon her. She now says she doesn’t support me. Then a couple days later I overheard my mom convincing my dad that I am being “hardhearted and stubborn” for saying I will never go back to Mormonism. She thinks the Mormon church has more to offer me which I don’t understand. If she had really been paying attention the first 20 of my life she would see that it has done nothing but abuse me mentally and spiritually and I am still trying to recover. My dad has always been easily persuaded into anything my mom thinks so now I don’t have his support either. I am feeling very alone lately and really wish I had someone around that understands me.

You should be able to find a support group of RfM folks here. Where do you live? Reach out to the folks here and they'll help you out.

she offered her support when she thought she could still change your mind. Sorry, it must be disappointing to think you were free to have your own beliefs and then find out you are now being talked about behind your back. You always have support here though.

It's normal for parents to be upset when you make religious choices that differ from your own. Why do you feel that you need them to support your decision? It would be nice, sure, but it's not necessary.

I don't need their support.The main reason I told them is because I didn't want them to find out from their bishop I resigned instead of from me. That would have caused a big argument. But now, I won't tell my parents when I send in my letter.

Is there any way that she can soften the news with your grandmother? -- perhaps by telling her that you are inactive as opposed to resigned?

I feel so sorry for you for what you are going through.

How does Mormonism get such a lock on some people (i.e. your mother)?

Hopefully you will find some good advice and support here.

I've been in the cult for a little over a year and my TBM brother turns into an aweful ogre anytime I try to bring up leaving or even say something negative about TSCC. So I feel your pain. It sucks to have family who should love you no matter what turn on you when you want the freedom to live your own life when that life differs from theirs.

:(((

I just replied to your other thread and I might as well say it again here. You are definitely not alone. My parents (esp my mom) are the same way. My grandparents and other relatives would always pay more attention to what she has to say because she's the parent and as far as everyone is concerned, I'm just a child (even if I'm effing 21 now). I am planning to resign from the church soon and currently in the process of figuring out how I am going to break this news to my mother. I am expecting she's going to react the same way yours did, and I know that there will be nothing I can do.

It seems like your mom doesn't take your decision seriously enough to understand it, and for that I am sorry. I guess what we have to do is to keep deciding for ourselves and to stick to it. Try to live our lives doing good and show that we are capable of being responsible adults who are doing our best to decide for ourselves. Hopefully, there comes a time where they will see that we are doing the right thing for ourselves and that they should respect us even when they don't always understand/agree with what we do.