About 2 weeks ago TBM SIL posted part of a 'leader' talk on FB about gender roles, etc. I private messages her and said basically 'I'm guessing this is in response to the ordain womens movement... I want to offer a different perspective you may not have thought of, and then shared a story that was on the OW web site. Then I said, TSCC basically admitted they were wrong about African Americans/priesthood, so what are the odds this might happen for women in the future.'

We are currently living with my parents in law and the computer is mostly used by them, but sometimes us. Well, I go to check email and the in laws is up with SIL's message in there. Though this likely isn't right, I could tell what it was about from the inbox screen and so clicked on it to see what was said. Well, the SIL passed my message along, and told in laws not to say anything to us about the pass along, which in itself is disrespectful. THEN, she says things like 'I'm "persecuting" her family' by sending something that threatens her testimony'. WTF?! Is she serious?! How ridiculous is that?!

From this shared computer/email inbox situation, it's become clear that they are all passing along anything we might send any of them and discussing it amongst themselves. What a bunch of BS that is!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/13/2014 01:45AM by anonymityitis.

That is terrible. Sounds like something people in my family would do. Once I said something in confidence to a brother about our other brother and he pretty much told the other brother what I'd said just as fast as he possibly could. I've gone at it with nieces over gender roles thinking that maybe since they are young I can get them to think. Instead, they get mad. I don't say much of anything to them anymore and I have since unfollowed one of my nieces.

TBM family can be a real pain. Mine are 1200 miles away and they are still a pain. So sorry you have to deal with this.

If it was any non family member, there's no way I would continue a 'relationship', but I feel stuck and I also feel it forces me into being inauthentic, which I hate myself for just to 'go along to get along', or at least maintain the facade of it.

get a 250$ tablet.....and when your on your own get to hell out of the CULT

Mormons jump at the chance to be "persecuted" they equate it with validation.

I have officially now seen this firsthand.

I hate her, too, and I don't even know her.

lol me too!

There's two people in life you can't choose:

Yer neighbors and yer relatives...


I'd never send her another PM again.

When neighbors are real bad you can move,but family will just follow.

I disagree - you can always move away from bad neighbors; but family, that's in the stars, and I must have been born under a Dark Star indeed. :(

Really? Tattling to the parents that you said something that challenges her beliefs?

Maybe try to put a positive spin on it: Maybe you said something that actually made her think.

Another thought: the parents are probably weary of her whining, because she still runs to mama and dada when challenged.

A caution: She is not someone to be trusted, as she doesn't address issues directly with you, but tries to play the victim to win over people who she thinks have power over you. If the parents bring up this e-mail, that is the time to say that what SIL did was underhanded and manipulative. If she had a problem, she should talk about it with YOU. And be sure to assert that if she starts a discussion, then she should expect some honest responses.

You are dead on with your bottom analysis. FIL eats her BS right up. He LOVES her. She is not a trustworthy person.
I know - she puts it on FB, and I didn't even comment publicly, but private messaged her - if she's bold enough to put it on FB, she should be bold enough to handle the aftermath.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 04/13/2014 01:28PM by anonymityitis.

Your response was a very mild one. I think that your SIL is using it as a way of bonding with your inlaws over what she perceives is a "common enemy." I wouldn't give her any more ammunition against you.

Right - exactly. I think she is trying to gain even more 'favor'. You are right - I see it as I will do the exact opposite so as not to give her ammunition.

I experienced something similar recently with a relative of mine. She "tattled" on me to my TBM parents, knowing it would hurt our relationship even more instead of just dealing with me directly. I sent her a scathing letter about how tattle tales never win. We haven't spoken since. Good riddance to her.

"You know what's funny? There are some people who are so insecure that they can't handle anyone having a different opinion than their own. How sad is that? Once they find out someone doesn't think just like them, and actually lets them know it, they start boohooing about how they're being persecuted! It's so pathetic. It's so comforting to know none of my family or friends would stoop to something so childish."

I'd be sure to share this sentiment with other family members, including your in-laws. Naturally an angelic mien must go with this pronouncement. ;>)

It reminds me of the Bible thumpers who cry persecution when they're told it's not nice to discriminate against gay people. It's bullying to tell them they shouldnt bully gay people, or be able to force their religion on others. Sometimes laughter is the best response.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/13/2014 01:33PM by serena.

Why notj ust get off of facebook. I am not on any social network and my life is full. The people in my life that are truly important communicate in conventional means. We actually speak to each other. Life is too short to spend it trying to keep up with people that don't matter. Your SIL sounds like a person that shouldn't even matter.

why not just join the year 2014 and realize that social networking is just another way to connect. People that use fb also have very full lives thank-you very much.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/13/2014 01:35PM by Tupperwhere.

Because FB is a convenient way to keep in touch with multiple people in one place. Maybe SIL should get off of FB before someone else dares to disagree with her.

You should use the email to pose as the in-laws and reply with something like: "Quit being a little bitch."

God, that would be hilarious.

+

----like 'I'm "persecuting" her family' by sending something that threatens her testimony'----


Anytime you disagree with a cult controlled person one of the first things that they do is play the "persecution" card.


This is their method of rationalizing their mental slavery to the cult.


By the way---Hate is an exercise in futility. It is frustrating to the hater and the hatee usually doesn't give a damn!



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 04/13/2014 04:12PM by thedesertrat1.

You Re right on the 'exercise in futility part'. It's taking up too much mental space and creating negativity in my life. I want to get to a place where it's like they just don't exist.

IGNORE THEM!

Well, I think I would find some way to sweetly slide this into a conversation with your in-laws and/or family in general: "You know, I so admire X. She has a strong testimony of her beliefs (lds or other). She told me that if her testimony could be shaken by views that are different from hers, it wasn't much of a testimony to start with."

Let your SIL stew a bit with that!

Ha!

Sounds like my family. Everything that isn't merely an agreement with their position gets passed around between them for opinion, and their hero blasts me with the correlated results. It's really quite pathetic. But, hey- that's why there are options to block senders on email. After leaving the church we found it necessary to remove ourselves from email groups, and to block several close relatives. Whether they know they are blocked is no concern of ours. The best part is imagining them wringing their hands wondering why we never respond to their emails. You might consider this option as well. Sure, you won't be able to know what people are saying behind your back, but at least you won't have to know what they are saying behind your back.