Is it possible for a mormon man or woman to have a normal, healthy sex life? They think masturbation is evil. They think pornography is evil. Oh, they still do it, they just lie about it, which adds more dysfunction to the equation.
I'm not talking about adults that have left the church. I'm talking about adults who cling to the belief system.
Did any of you have healthy, honest sex lives while you were members? Or were you constantly filled with shame and lived with secrets?

When I was married to a TBM my sex life was normal and healthy. I'm not sure that my experience was the norm though.

I felt awfully guilty about masturbation, and that really messed me up, but it didn't affect the intimacy that her and I had.

I was in a gay/straight marriage. AND our sex life was more normal than many Mormons I knew.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/12/2014 12:42PM by cl2.

My DH and I have always had a healthy sex life. I gave him a blow job in the car right after we left the temple on our wedding day (a first for both of us - we were virgins). From day one we told each other that the church did not belong in our bedroom and we were the only ones to decide what was or wasn't okay to do in our sex life. We developed sexually together which did include masterbation because it helped our sex life. I was BIC and I guess I was lucky to come out of childhood without too many sexual hang ups.

How can someone single, and in tscc, have a "normal sex life"?
From the beginning it was broken down, from church dances (where adults would always walk around and say "you can't fit a BoM between you two" (which defeats the purpose [of dancing] and would be terribly uncomfortable) and make sure the lights weren't too dark, to double-dating (which I don't think I ever did) to no petting [I love my animals], to not a decent selection in the area, to... A healthy sex life is only possible when the ones doing it call the shots! Sex is chemical, physical and personal. Everything about it is a no-no. Then you grow up: leave tscc.

I know of some TBMs who have decent sex lives. It's rare but possible. If you get married young and horny enough while everything still works well, it's possible to develop a healthy sex life. It would just be a lot easier without TSCC and be a good thing for more people than it is now.

Our sex life was better before we left the church.

Of course, our leaving coincided with other life changes, and since that included my different career and making less money, the sex declined also.

Most women adjust according to the money available.

Pretty generalized statement about women!

Or your wife could have been responding to the amount of respect you had for her... I hope you never had daughters.

We've always kept the church out of our bedroom.

TSCC wants to screw you and know if you are screwing anyone else. Tell me that's healthy!

tough challenge for Mos of earlier vintage; one-piece garments, all kinds of restrictions, AND the lying to get approval for the various hurdles that are built-into Mo practice, either culture, doctrine, or Both.

"Mormons and healthy sex lives" - there's an oxymoron.

Aside from the weird undies, DW and I very yes.

She likes the big, fat, 8inch black one, and DP is a go.

I think it is as much cultural, and how your parents bring you up.

I'm sure there are a lot of messed up non Mormons.

The sub thread called Dead Bedrooms is full of sadness. I could be in there but we are still are hardcore from time to time

I don't think human sexuality is just "Mormon", it's pretty complicated

I've got some great video on my phone too, fwiw