I have a few questions. There are things that come up on message boards with TBMs and I don't know that I believe them. So tell me your honest opinion (or what it would have been) back when you were TBM.

1. Would you have done temple work even if the deceased's family would not give permission or actually requested it NOT be done? Did you believe that it was for a greater good, akin to lying for the Lord?

2. We joke here about baptizing all Mormons gay or whatever to try to make them understand how offensive necro-dunking is. If I would have told you that my church was doing rituals for people to undo the endowment/baptize them gay/whatever, would it have bothered you? I often hear Mormons say "I don't care because you don't have the authority" (which to me is their admission that it COULD be offensive if they DO have the authority, which they believe they do) but it usually sounds... like posturing. Like it really would bother them, but they won't admit it because then they'd have to admit they were doing something offensive.


I guess I just have a hard time believing people wouldn't be upset about you using their name in rituals after they die when they get so worked up over things like gay marriage which usually doesn't effect them in the slightest.

Sadly, yes I would have performed temple work for deceased loved ones despite knowing that they wouldn't have wanted temple work done on their behalf.

What I find interesting is how offended I was when after having left the church grandma (an atheist) passed away, she got a Mormon funeral. She hated Mormon and hated that her son converted to become one. She resented not being able to attend her own son's wedding. She totally HATED all things mormon. But, she got the Mormon funeral, grave dedication, and temple work completion. I was completely disgusted, and still am after 4 years. But, being honest I would have gone done that very thing 6 years ago. CRAZY, but honestly true.

Did you believe most people would accept the work done for them after they died? I mean, Mormons often say "It's not offensive, you can turn it down." But is it generally believed that most people are going to accept the work?

The whole "They dont have to accept it" line isn't really believed. Because if you are in the after life and the whole structure is just as the Mormons say, why would you continue to deny it? Therefore it is believed, at the very least, that not only will most accept, they will be OVERJOYED that someone did the work for them.

1. I would have done it. I just wouldnt have talked about it with anyone who would have disapproved. Mormons put more stock into being obedient than they do to respecting others.

2. You are right. Mormons hide behind the "authority" line. Deep down they know they are being disrespectful, but they also believe they are in the right. It is an odd balance.

Loving these responses! Thank you.

Good post Lily. This has always been weird. Mormon's think it is so important to get the work done for the dead. Besides myself, four of them were talking the other day, from my area, two working in tscc, in the missing field, and they were discussing this subject and figuring it takes about 3 - 17 hours each to do all these rituals for one person... even after dying, a person wastes a lot of living people's time. Utterly ridiculous! It the food weren't so good and I weren't so hungry, and in the middle of my meal, I wouldn't have stayed. Never have I wished so strongly to change the subject.

1. This was very real to me when I was a TBM because so many members of my family were exmos. I made up my mind that I wouldn't do temple work for them against their wills because they had their agency and it would be offensive for me to do anything that seemed to override that. Didn't stop me from trying to get them back to church while they were alive, though.

2. I always thought this was pretty funny.

So, yeah, as a TBM I was kind of an asshole to the living at times but left the unwilling dead alone.

Yes and no. There was a point where I would draw a line, that I wouldn't cross.

I did have my grandmother baptized, even though I felt really weird about it. She had committed suicide and at that time, I felt that was a great sin. I didn't know if it was right to do it or not.

On the other hand, I very much wanted to have my best friend baptized, who had died at 16. I got verbal permission from her family, but they never sent me the promised written permission for me to send to Salt Lake. So I never did it. I respected her family too much.

The thing is that when you're TBM, you see it as a gift. One that they can either accept or reject. Because they're in complete control as to whether or not they accept it, then you see no harm in offering that gift.

But if someone had specifically requested that I not do it, then no, I wouldn't have gone ahead and done it anyway.

But then a lot of times it's those of us who have integrity who leave the Church, because we realize that they actually have none themselves as an organization.

"Would you have done temple work even if the deceased's family would not give permission or actually requested it NOT be done? Did you believe that it was for a greater good, akin to lying for the Lord?"

that would have given me even more reason to do it. Mormons know best y'know!