I've only recently (within the last 12 months) realized that I have suffered with this BS for my entire life.

I'm wondering if mormonism has helped foster this.

As I look back, these feelings that I have were at their worst when I was hauled in to the bishop's office for interviews. Mainly because I knew he was going to ask if I whacked the mole or not. I hated every minute of church and if I was called upon to "bear my testimony" I would be thrown into sheer panic. "Matt, please say the prayer" would raise the hairs on the back of my head. Even way back when when I was quite young and had to give that 2 1/2 minute talk - panic would set in.

You can only imagine 2 years in Japan selling this BS door to door.

The only time in my mormon experience that was free of it was the temple. There was no calling on me to do any public speaking, prayers, scripture reading, bearing of testimony etc. It was just sanctioned drag, pretty chandeliers and a movie that I'd seen hundreds of times, so I liked it. Also, I thought I was doing something good for my fellow man that had come before me. Turns out it wasn't nuthin but make-work.

Anyway, in your opinion, do you think that mormonism either caused it or fostered my anxiety?

DUH! Ya Think?

you better believe it

It's all based on worrying about your eternal fate. No anxiety, no, need for religion.

Stray Mutt Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It's all based on worrying about your eternal
> fate. No anxiety, no, need for religion.

I think this is true for a great swath of Christianity: Catholicism...Orthodoxy...the mainstream Protestant denominations, by and large (like Lutheran or Presbyterian or Baptist)...the Christian evangelicals and fundamentalists absolutely.

However, once you're outside of Christianity, "worrying about your eternal fate" is often a non-issue.

In Judaism, for instance, there is very little (actually: almost no) attention paid to anyone's after-death "eternal fate." There are SOME of the more metaphysically-oriented sectors of Judaism (Kaballah, etc.) which discuss/"believe in" reincarnation (at least in some form), but mostly: Jews don't care. It is totally a NON-issue to Judaism.

Hinduism, for sure, believes in reincarnation--so there is little to discuss or be anxious about. I've never known a Hindu to obsess or be anxious about reincarnation, which is seen as something of a cosmic-level law operating automatically akin to our understanding of gravity operating automatically here on Earth.

I think anxiety about the after-death "experience" is a non-issue in Buddhism, too (though I know very little about Buddhism except that it is an offshoot of Hinduism--if anyone knows better re: Buddhism, please tell us what I don't know! :) )

There might be anxiety in Islam, since there is (to my knowledge) the belief in virgins being presented as property to male Muslims who meet whatever are the Muslim standards of being able to receive "virgin gifts." ;)

In many traditional religions, the spirits of the ancestors who have died stick around to help their kinfolk, tribe, etc., so everyone during their lifetimes can look forward to an after-death experience as a "revered wise person." I doubt they feel any anxiety, either.

It's just SOME Christians (and maybe Muslims), so far as I know, who would feel anxiety about what will happen after they die. Pretty much everyone else is pretty laid back about the prospect--at least to my knowledge.

Again: any dissenting knowledge is welcome!!!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/14/2014 02:25AM by tevai.

My anxiety/depression vanished with my leaving the church. It was not a good place for me.

Definitely. When I stopped going to church, I realized over time that my anxiety virtually went away on it's own. I hadn't realized how much I had been faking a strong testimony, how much I had been blaming myself for being so far from the beautiful supportive wife and mother I hoped to become, the celestial-bound woman of excellence I wanted to be, how much I had been dreading the next "opportunity for blessings" by accepting the offer to give a talk or say a prayer. In the absence of so many rules and expectations, I found peace and acceptance for who I am.

You make a good point about the temple. For a busybusy TBM who feels guilty spending any amount of time on frivolity, it's kind of like going to a spa, I suppose.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/13/2014 02:11PM by morgana.

Yeah. Maybe that's why I learned to like the temple. A couple hours to think. (as long as you ignore the words and just nod at the right time.)

Dear Levi,

I doubt TSCC "caused" your anxiety. Did you get the same feelings giving a presentation at school? Standing in line at the grocery store? Being in other social situations? Meeting someone new?

Some people, like me have generalized social anxiety. I didn't realize how bad it was until I first tried a xanax. For the first time I realized how I had been going through life with utter anxiety and feelings of dread over the smallest things, but especially the big interviews, presentations, social gatherings, etc.

By the way, I immediately stopped using anti-anxiety meds (benzodiazepines), they were just too strong. When I have an important presentation, I will take some innocuous beta blockers, which have been a lifesaver. On a day-to-day basis, a good diet, exercise and ample sleep are the only things that help mitigate my anxiety.

I have always envied people that don't have anxiety. I still go through periods where I feel like I'm suffocating and want to run out of the room because of my anxiety. It can lead to self medicating with alcohol and other drugs, so go talk to your doctor and investigate it seriously.

I doubt your anxiety will go away once you're away from the church.

Thanks.

Up until a year ago, I never had a word to put to it. I just thought I was "weird" or something.

I never knew why I hated standing in line, being in an elevator with anybody, being in a social situation just bugged the royal fuck out of me. Almost to the point of getting freaked out.

Now, I will take a Xanax when something stressful is looming and I handle it with no problem. Honestly, I tell myself that if it was a baby aspirin i would have the same result, but perhaps not.

It explained why I tested so poorly. It explained why I didn't interview well. It explained why my first dates were ONLY dates.

The morg made it worse by far, but i don't think it caused it per se. But could it have been a catalyst? I dunno.

I do know that with my little pill I can handle things that used to send me to the moon.

In social situations now, I'm much better because I can carry on conversations that are not morg centered. That was horrid. Having to talk about something that I just loathed. Now I can talk about lots of interesting things that I have a genuine interest in.

When I mention to my friends (all are never mo) that I used to consider myself socially awkward, they all respond the same way. They are incredulous that I would think of myself that way.

I will say, that when on a date, I feel like i'm about to vomit in my shoes. When I feel like I'm being critiqued it comes out.

Some of us are prone to anxiety due to genetic and environmental causes. Mormonism, as practiced, is an environmental stressor that exacerbates nervousness. It's hard for others to understand that meetings and forced socializing are no good for us and create mental torture.

Short story about a nervous creature coming soon. Watch salamander.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/13/2014 07:29PM by donbagley.

my mom has it as well, so it may be partly genetic in their cases.

My sister's therapist thinks any practicing Mormon with the slightest tendency toward OCD-ness will usually develop a full-blown case because of the church's tendency to obsess over various things including but not limited to disaster preparedness, the 2nd coming of the Messiah, how one appears to the rest of the ward, the final judgment, and all sorts of other matters.

I also felt anxious from being constantly watched and judged by spirits and mortals wherever I went no matter what I did.

Life is a test to be "endured". Demons surround you and want to make you miserable and even enter your body if you let them.

The world is evil and out to persecute you and lead you astray. You must perform x y and z rituals to ever see your family for eternity.

What a miserable way to live.

Yep, the church definitely fosters anxiety. Very relatable post.

Fear, anxiety, depression. It was an extremely repressive religion for me to be in. To make matters worse, everyone around me was suffering from the same problems. It was almost impossible to see the source when you're submerged in it with your entire family.

The list of rules that you must follow, or else, are books and books long. That alone would make anyone a bit anxious. The feeling of being constantly monitored and watched was horrible. When you're a mormon you're never good enough.

I completely agree with you. And I couldn't even relax in the temple. The fiddle-fussing with all the funny clothes completely un-nerved me. You put something this way, and then you shuffle it that way, and if you are too slow about it, you get the evil eye from everybody - I HATED THAT!!!

And really, they even took weekends away from you. I worked a full Monday - Friday schedule and so did my husband, so we basically had to spend all of Saturday getting ready for Sunday - shopping, laundry, riding herd on the kids to be sure everyone had prepared lessons or talks or whatever - plus HT and VT duties - it was a ZOO! There was never any time to just kick back and relax.

I don't miss all that nonsense one bit!

The temple endowment session made me a nervous wreck. All the perfectionism of clothing arranging, stand up, sit down, take off this, put on that, do this, do that.

Other people said this made them feel wonderful!?? I call bullsh!t on that. There wasn't anything peaceful about it. Temple sessions are a cross of boring and stressful. Not only that, you have to leave your kids with a sitter. The next day is consumed with church meetings. Just when are you supposed to be with family? Oh yeah, one night a week for 2 hours. Who are those little strangers?

My poor wife, when we were first married, believed that spirits were watching us in tbe bedroom. On the surface it might seem funny, but, really...she/we both out grew thst, but it was an issue for six minths, give or take.

Yes. From being tiny you are taught your eternal family will be ripped apart if you don't do exactly what the church tells you to. Heavenly Father loves you!

introverts suffer harshly by being members, which equals anxiety. Extroverts THRIVE on TSCC because they are constantly rewarded and given higher callings so they feel "special" No anxiety for them. Those are my thoughts anyway.

Please answer as I'm worried about this.