So, my daughter and I are investigating leaving. One of her (and my) current issues are the essays.

Her best friend in college decided out of the blue she wanted to go on a mission. In church, my daughter casually mentioned the essays, just to see how she would react.

She got upset at my daughter and told her she doesn't believe it, that it was all made up, and that kind of stuff would never get past the general authorities.

My daughter told her that it was on lds org, and she just got more annoyed. I don't want to force this other girl to listen, but she is mad at my daughter. What would you suggest to help her show she is not a church hating cuckoo head. I know most of you do not believe in this stuff, but this is new to us, and I want my daughter to tread carefully.

I am just in awe that her friend believes this. She is smart, funny, beautiful..just like my kid, yet she blatantly gets mad. It is on the OFFICIAL site for hells sakes. To think, this is the kind of girls and guys we are sending out to preach a message of unconditional love and acceptance. Right.

I would just send her an email with the links. Here they are right here:

Mountain Meadows Massacre
http://www.lds.org/topics/mountain-meadows-massacre

Book of Mormon and DNA Studies
https://www.lds.org/topics/book-of-mormon-and-dna-studies

Spalding Manuscript
http://www.lds.org/topics/spaulding-manuscript

First Vision Accounts
http://www.lds.org/topics/first-vision-accounts

Are Mormons Christian?
http://www.lds.org/topics/christians

Book of Mormon Translation
http://www.lds.org/topics/book-of-mormon-translation

Race and the Priesthood
http://www.lds.org/topics/race-and-the-priesthood

Plural Marriage and Families in Early Utah
http://www.lds.org/topics/plural-marriage-and-families-in-early-utah

Becoming Like God
https://www.lds.org/topics/becoming-like-god?lang=eng

I don't know about you, but I don't like to be called a liar. The Church really did say this stuff, and it's right there on their website.

Spin the essays as a positive thing. Send the links Makurosu provided and simply say the Bretheren have provided the information in part as a resource for missionaries. The essays will make you a better missionary, say.

If she has TBM grandparents who have been teaching the gospel to her over the years then the essays will be very shocking. That the brethren have provided them will be no less shocking. No need to add any "anti" spirit. The essays speak for themselves and provide a brethren-approved beginning to this young, beautiful woman's life-long 10% raise.

Human

I brought up the DNA essay in SS class a couple weeks ago and how it basically argues against the literal flood and tower of babel which was being taught that day in class. I had a couple people ask me to email them the link to the essay. I did and didn't get a response back from them. They are probably mad that I sent them anti mormon material.......from lds.org haha

Hey, could you specify how the dna essay argues against the literal flood and tower of babel?

I saw the bottleneck effect diagrams and lost my will to read... never mind. I gotterdone.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/12/2014 02:07PM by dot.

It references studies that indicate the American continent being populated as far back as 20k years ago. If the flood happened 4K-5K years ago those populations should all be dead. So if you have a literal flood and no population to "lose" Lehi DNA in it means the BofM is fairy tale.

I second sending the email w/ the links. If it were me I would say something like, "I'm send you these links for two reasons: 1. To prove I am not a liar. 2. If you're going on a mission, you need to be familiar w/ the less comfortable parts of LDS history in case you are asked about them. It's the reason the church developed and posted the essays on their website."

I fed the missionaries a couple of nights ago and during the meal I asked them if they had been informed about the essays on the church website. This was after one of them had mentioned that they had encountered inactive members that had issues with the first vision story. I told them that the essays were written precisely to address such concerns.

One elder asked if they were available on "mormon.org", which was odd, but it gave me the impression that mormon.org is the only website the elders are supposed to refer people to. I said I didn't think they were available on mormon.org (why not???, that would be a great place to post them prominently), but if they went to lds.org and looked under topics they would find them (by searching a bit).

They said they had not heard of these essays. I told them that I would have thought all mission presidents would be focusing on the essays since a lot of missionary effort is focused on contacting inactive members who probably have issues that the essays addressed.

The elders seemed unusually uninterested.

Sometimes I think those essays are exclusively written for those who already know the information and have drawn broader conclusions than the essays tackle. Every one that I have read (I have read them all) gloss over the really important "problems" and attempt to "spin" the history. What did I expect?

What a strange culture...?...!

You might also suggest your daughter's friend check out

www.futuremissionary.com

OH I got reamed mentioning that site. Over at the MAD board (MDD now?) they have declared that site "anti mormon" and of the devil.

http://www.mormondialogue.org/topic/61036-the-latest-anti-mormon-deception-futuremissionarycom/

Actually I only linked to the above MDD thread and asked the future missionary if he agreed with their assessment. That caused hysteria, claims of being anti-mormon and unfriending on FB.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/12/2014 12:24PM by crom.

The annoyance masks cog dis kicking in. I know I waved off or snorted when I heard "facts" that contradicted, nay disproved, my "faith" and felt brain cells talking to each other and making necessary corrections. If only I had listened to myself back then.

Don't you remember that you were taught that brain cells were not to discuss among themselves, but to remain quiet, arms folded, until the Brethren's brain cells spoke?

I continue to be astonished at how my emotional need to belong (and need for help raising my boys) trumped both my intellect and common sense.

Namaste

Anagrammy

they have been looking away from for years.

Like when you decide to inform a friend that her husband has been cheating on her. You debated whether to tell her or not - a tough decision for any good friend - finally deciding that you could not in good conscience know this and not tell her.

And then she is mad at you.

Clearly it is a blame-the-messenger scenario, which can only be eased by a flooding of messengers.

Rest assured, this is not the only thing she has heard and it will not be the last. You have dropped the Mormon-ugly truth on her and her eyes have been opened to the reality of evil where she thought there was only good.

Give her a break. Don't say or do anything but be loving and supportive of her choices. Holy cow- for a person in her position this is an atom bomb. She will not be able to get it out of her mind.

You might not know this, but we who have left experience the five stages of grief. Many of us love, love, loved the church and it was truly the one true steady rod of iron in our lives. To lose this - even the possibility of losing this anchor - is devastating, even though the anchor of personal strength and integrity is far more reliable, it is a loss which must be processed.

The loss takes place in the mind first, then in the heart, so give your daughter's friend the space and time she needs. You are saving her life from being stolen, so there's no timeline that needs to be addressed.

You can't make a mistake on this, my friend, because truth is truth. Whether the friend acknowledges it today or waits until she is on her mission and others ask her about the essays, she will read them and I promise you, she will face the same choice you and the rest of us are or have faced:

Do we choose truth and be uncomfortable for a while, or do we stay with lies and continue what is familiar?

It is a highly personal decision when a person is emotionally ready to face the consequences of family and friend disapproval, so we don't fault anyone's timetable.

I will go out on a limb here and make a prediction: some day this young lady will thank you as she will own her own life again.

You're a hero already, in my book. Let us know how it all works out.


Anagrammy

I guess I should have their actual conversation before saying this but, IS SHE JUST DUMB BECAUSE ITS ON THE CHURCHS OWN DAMN WEBSITE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

Tell her to go to the church's website and go to the gospel topics section. Saying the GA's would never approve this is like saying the GA's didn't approve the gospel essentials handbook.

Jerry Sandusky's wife thinks he is innocent too.......sometimes people are just too invested to see the truth.

The church knows this very well and manipulates its members with the best of them. Testimony meetings, early morning seminary, temple weddings, missions etc etc all designed to increase personal investment, which then reduce the likelihood of admitting a mistake and leaving.

Some members are just too locked in to even imaging leaving.

The big 15 know this and laugh all the way to the bank.