I posted my story about a month ago. http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1138832,1138931#msg-1138931

At the time I didn’t think it would help at all to do so, but it really has been therapeutic for me. I read every post, on both forums, and wish the very best for strawberryshortcake and others who are going through similar issues. You may think that your post is inconsequential or simply stupid (as I do when I post) but most of them have hit close to home for me and helped.
So, instead of lurking constantly, I should give an update. I have not spilled my guts to DW as I desperately want to. I want to bring her out with me so slow and steady is the right way. I have simply made small comments to my family like “always verify what is said no matter who it is coming from” after both religious and political topics come up in normal conversation. Last night, I went a little further after DW and I listened to the story on KUTV about the Ensign article claiming it is the Woman’s responsibility to dress appropriately so Men don’t think impure thoughts. When they said the Woman will get the Man they deserve based upon their modestly levels I nearly lost it but held it in. I told my DW “I have a big problem with that talk” “it is completely wrong to teach girls that they are responsible for a man’s actions. If they are raped, it is her fault for dressing that way. If they are in a bad marriage, it is what they deserve for dressing a particular way. I think that is completely wrong!”

DW said nothing for a while. She is YW Pres and has really gone over the top on modesty for her and my 16 yr old daughter since then. We turned out the lights to go to sleep and I got a “love ya” and she went to sleep (normal for us and I won’t go into our sex life yet..). So, perhaps there is hope.

My 17 year old son refused to go to the Mission prep course Sunday and helped me work on our old truck instead. DW didn’t get mad either.

I do have to add one funny item to this. Two weeks ago Sunday, the talk was about Treasure Seeking. They guy went on and on about the gold rush and how everybody has sought treasure in our long history. Then he said “JS was a treasure seeker before Emma’s dad asked him to stop” inferring that he was digging for gold like everybody else. I blurted out, quietly or so I thought “Half-truth! Tell the rest of the damn story!”. My 13 year old looked at me shocked and so did the several rows of people around us. Nobody said anything, but sometimes it just bursts out at funny times. Onward and upward I suppose.

Sounds like you are doing a good job. I might suggest that you not always come across as a cynic of the church but say positive things when they are due. That way your wife will know that you are not just trying to "bash" the church but are sincere in your views of goodness and honesty. For example, if an apostle gives a talk about doing service and working in food kitchen, then mention how you really enjoyed that talk and that you'd like to hear more talks like that. Keep it positive most of the time or your wife my get sick of your "negativity." Discuss things logically and point out errors by asking questions instead of using accusatory language, like "Do you really think it's a woman's fault? Do you think the man should be able to control his urges so women don't have to dress like they live I. The Middle East?Get your wife to start thinking on her own but don't push her too much.

"Half truth!".... lol I'm finding myself doing this kind of thing at church too.