I was chatting with this one missionary who told me that on Sunday while she was in sacrament meeting, her mission president called her in to inform her that her grandmother died. I suggested that she should go home to be with the family (she said she was slated to leave soon anyway) but says she wants to carry on with her mission.

In my mind I would never ever make her stay on her mission; I'd even push her to go home since the most honorable thing to do is to be with your family.

Is it too much to suggest we pray for her?

Grief can be a strange thing.

When I was still a (non-LDS) missionary I was leading a trip to Mexico. We got a call on the road that one of our girls' father had been killed in a car accident.

Of course, without question, the organization provided for her to fly home immediately. She was home for about a week or 10 days, but then caught up with us on the road. For her, being with the people she had gotten so close to and having something to do gave her what she needed to get through such a tough time.

Deleted - wrong spot



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/23/2014 05:10PM by toast.

I remember when I was headed to the MTC we stopped at my grandparents house to say goodbye, on our way out of the house my dad said "Well, that's probably the last time you will ever see your grandpa."

It was pretty much assumed my grandpa would die on my mission, and it was assumed I would not be coming home for the funeral.(He actually lived for like 8 more years)

Yeah!!

My dad said the same exact thing, my grandpa died a year after I got back.

You know when Christ died his father didn't stay around to support him. I am sure he did what he had to do to grieve. However the church always says stay on your mission, stay focused.

My dad died when my brother and sister were both on their missions. Both of their mission president refused to let them come home.

My brother wouldn't take that for an answer because my mother was left holding the bag on my dad's business (she had not training or skill to run the business and had an infant at the time). So he came back long enough to get someone hired to do the job and went back to finish selling a lie to people who could see right through it.

My sister finished out her mission, came home and left the church. Oh, and so did my brother.

n/m



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/18/2014 08:36PM by agnesbroomhead.

The church goes to great lengths to guilt trip missionaries that have tragedies like this hit them.

They don't want their investments, I mean missionaries, going home early for ANY reason because of the net loss.

Nothing else matters.

The new Preach MY Gospel training DvDs even feature a Sister Missionary who righteously decided to stay on her mission when her brother died. The church uses her as a poster child to point to when these things happen.

So those that do go home end up feeling lesser. In reality the church just wanted to sponge a little more from them.

When my ex-fiancé was on his mission (long before we were engaged), his brother died in a tragic car accident. His mission president counseled him to not go home for the funeral, but his dad (who was a bishop at the time) bought his ticket, arranged for him to be taken to the airport, and then informed said mission president of his plans. It helped that my ex was in the US for his mission so there were no passport issues.

A guy I grew up with was a different matter. He was serving in Europe when his nevermo father died. He was the only member in his family and they had not approved of him going on a mission anyway. He not only didn't have the money to fly home, his mission president refused to consider handing over his passport. He served out the rest of his mission, and when he got home his remaining family informed him that he was now persona non grata. That was almost 30 years ago--hopefully they've forgiven him by now.

I am not an expert on international law, but if the mission president held on to his passport/visa, wouldn't that be holding the young man against his will? Kidnapping? That might be a stretch, but it somehow seems incredibley illegal.

My wife's grandfather passed away while she was on a state side mission. She didn't come home either and she could have been home in 10 hours by car. All she had was pictures from the funeral home. Stupid cult.

His Mother committed suicide and tried to kill her young son.
But the missionary wasn't allowed to go home.
I'm sure the siblings and his Dad needed him to be there but everyone seemed to accept that he would continue his mission.

SO SAD. So SENSELESS. SO STUPID.

The missionary is still TBM years later.
But his Dad is not so TBM...just trying to keep the family together.

KJ

Yeah. And families are flippin' forever.

when his mother was dying or after her death.

He has since left the church and remains bitter about not being able to go home and say goodbye to his mother. DH and I visited with the mish and his family when we were on vacation a few years ago. He has a big, framed photo of his mom in his living room. When I saw this picture, I almost cried - I knew right away that this was his mom, because he looks a lot like her. He told me while I was "investigating" that his mom had died since he had been on his mission. He and his comp were at my house the first Mother's Day after she died. Knowing that she was gone, I often made dinner for the mishies, remembered their birthdays, and things like that. I still have a card that he sent me many years ago for having "been like a mother" to him.

His wife told me that during her illness, the mish's mom cried and wanted to see her boy, but was told by the bishop that to "distract" him from his mission would not be proper.

That organization has NO heart.

Very troubling to hear that.

A couple of years ago, my brother was out on his mission when my grandfather passed away. He didn't come home for the funeral.


Last June my Uncle and Aunt died in a car accident, their daughter was pretty banged up too. Their missionary grandson didn't make it home for the funeral. My foster-cousin was released from jail for the afternoon to pay her respects to her foster parents though.


So let me get this straight its easier for someone to get out of jail for the day to pay respects to the dead then it is for a missionary volunteering his time, talents and money to a corporation pretending to be a religion to do the same. The Jail Officers are more compassionate then the "True Church of Christ"

Stupid Cult

These stories are absolutely abominable! Honestly, I just can't even believe what I am reading but, then again, I CAN when it comes to the church! I think the church knows that if they temporarily release a missionary for a family emergency or death, that that missionary has a 95% chance of not going back and completing the mission. And the church just can't take the chance of that happening. Meanwhile, lives are ruined, souls are crushed, and many missionaries and their families have a lifetime of regrets...absolutely horrible what the church does...

My grandparents died while my brother was on his mission. It was never even considered that he would come home for their funerals.

My nephew was on his mission when his grandmother died. I don't think he ever considered coming home. Family oriented church my arse.

That sounds similar to the situation I mentioned. She actually had a tear in her eye, but said she wanted to carry on.

FWIW, she ends her mission this week.

She'll probably have her first exposure to the real world, including this very post, though I doubt she knows anything about RfM.

Well, on the flip side, my niece is very close to grandma. When she turned in her papers and again when she met her MP she made it very clear that she would leave for Utah if there was a dramatic change in grandma's health and would NOT miss her funeral. Her dad, a BP, agreed. People like that can make a difference by setting an example. It's just a crazy policy, and so unhealthy.

It's a mission rule. My TBM brother and the SIL went on a senior mission in 2007 or so. He informed me that if mom died while they were gone, tscc wouldn't allow them to come for the funeral. They were in New Mexico, a three hour flight. Nope can't do tha.

My nephew was about a year out when my dad passed away, even though he was just 2 states away he didn't get to come home either. He was very close with his grandpa, who by the way was paying for said mission! But no way were they letting him come home.
When I asked why I was told by my mom and uber-TBM brother that coming home is not possible. Silly me I thought they were volunteers.
This happened very recently.

My brother just had three weeks left to serve in his mission when our sister was killed. You would have thought they'd let him come home. Nope!

They are ALL about families.....Yeah right!

Follow-up:

She said she last talked to her family on Monday, but the mission president's wife called them on Thursday or so. Her grandma's funeral was Friday. Still insists she'd rather remain on her mission.

Mission presidents are instructed to keep the missionaries in their missions if tragedy occurs to the missionaries. They TSCC also makes it seem more noble of the missionary not to go home for the funeral, or memorial service.