A TBM acquaintance has been complaining plenty
about the increased callings and thus increased time demands
TSCC has been placing on her lately. Among other callings,
she's the RS secretary and didn't realize it involved
lengthy and frequent stake meetings as well.
She says she literally has no time for her family
and wants out of the calling (and TSCC),
but her uber-TBM husband has threatened her to shape up.

This is the same woman who couldn't understand
why only about half as many members show up for sacrament meetings
as did just three years ago. Well, duh...I guess
fewer members means more work for the remaining sheeple.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/10/2014 03:13PM by heretic.

Yes.

Local Leaders have always worked on the "flog a willing horse" principle because it creates less of a queue at their door each Sunday. The fact is that there are less and less willing horses to go around these days, meaning fewer and fewer willing members are getting more and more callings.

It's a definite trend.

It seems that my adult TBM family members all have at least one calling these days. Many have more than one...that they complain about on social media nonstop. It seems like the church is trying to create a calling for every member to fill. Let's call it: Every Member a Calling. One of my TBM family members is the Ward Indexing Coordinator. So ridiculous!

The push for smaller wards in older areas and the creation of new wards in sprawling suburban areas is running many TBMs pretty ragged. It's really unreasonable for someone to be the Scout Master, early morning seminary teacher, and assistant ward clerk--but they are making members do just that.

As more people continuing leaving the fold, it's only going to get much worse.

May I ask what part of the country your TBM acquaintance lives in?

I live in the Morridor and I am not sure if there has been any attendance dropoff -- although I am not really in a position to know, as I very rarely attend.

This TBM lives in SLC, on the west side of I-15, north of 3300 South.

Also, over a year ago I reported that the Stake President
(Salt Lake South Cottonwood Stake) told the members
(at his first stake conference as stake president)
that the stake's membership and attendance numbers are "WAY DOWN"
even though they still have the same stake bounderies
and the same number of households in the stake.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/10/2014 11:39AM by heretic.

My mom lives just east of there, in the Olympus cove area. The number of wards has shrunk as her generation dies or moves to retirement homes. Kids are all gone and the new people moving in are often not LDS. Homes are too pricey for young couples or families with lots of kids...

BTW I believe there was a conscious decision to give everyone one calling to make them feel included and encourage them to show up, and wards were split with that goal in mind. I think it works... Until the numbers drop and you have to merge wards or give some folks 3 callings.

This seems to be the case in northern California.

Really north or San Francisco north? It is totally true for truly northern CA!

That was certainly the case for me after I moved out of Provo. During my final ten years in the church, I rarely held only one calling, including when I was a ward RS pres and in stake YW and RS presidencies.

At the time I left, I had a presidency calling and a teaching calling. The only reason I felt guilty was because I knew they'd throw both of those callings onto the same person, the bishop's long-suffering wife who already had two callings.

Other people who left at the same time I did already had two or more callings each as well. Sometimes I wonder what happened to the ward in the 3-6 month period after we all bailed.

To use myself for an example:
Five years ago I was HP group leader, on the short list for bishopric and high council positions.
Then the dominoes of church history started to fall and I told the bishop no more temple for rutabaga.
Now I'm a ward greeter. Probably as high up the ladder as I will ever go.
Sweet!

This is definitely the case. It is also doing a fine job of Hastening the Work™ of dissing the gruntled TDMs (True Doubting Mormons).

We had an RS president request to be released after only 1 year in office because of all the extra expectation that was heaped on her by the bishop and his lack of integrity in ecclesiastical privilege. A few years later and she has 4 "lesser" callings. The bishop called her in to add a fifth. She said no. He called her from the pulpit anyway. She's technically called, but she's shared with me she has no plans of doing anything for it. In fact, she's now putting in the bare minimum on the others. She's also researching. I pointed her to mormonthink and CES Letter.

Our EQP was just released after only 8 months. When I asked him about it he said he was "on to other things". He's also friends with John Dehlin on FB.

Fortunately I only have one calling, but it requires an insane amount of time and dedication. I plan on asking to be released this month due to personal/marital problems the bishop is aware of. It will be interesting to see how he reacts and who he burdens with the responsibility. I wouldn't be surprised if he tries to pull some BS tactics to get me to stay through the end of summer. I won't budge and won't accept a new calling.

TSCC is hurting. They're scrambling for willing and able participants. They also refuse to reorganize and consolidate because it would reflect poorly on the number of congregations they have. TBMs are growing frustrated. TDMs and NOMs feel a sense of impending doom. Many are jumping off the fence and it isn't to TSCC side.

Holy Spearmint, your description of the former RS president in your ward made me cry at work. Her experience is very similar to mine (dirtbag bishop, loaded up with callings afterwards). If she wants to talk to another former RS pres who made the jump, please let me know. I would be happy to contact or be contacted by her.

Thank you. I'll see if she's open. She is still on the fence right now due to a TBM husband and extended family. I can feel her tipping, though. She knows where I stand and that I'm willing to talk.

This community is awesome.

It's good she has a friend like you. How difficult it is to be in her shoes, especially with the family pressure.

I turned down a calling about three years before I left (because I already had two) but the first counselor called me from the pulpit anyway. I raised my hand to object, though, and after a hasty sidebar with the bishop (different bishop from when I was an RS pres) they announced that "an error had been made" and went on with the meeting. It's hilarious to think about now, but at the time I was humiliated and wept through the sacrament.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/10/2014 02:10PM by stbleaving.

A year ago my TBM sister was on the verge of a nervous breakdown whenever I talked to her on the phone. She is a SHM homeschooling several kids. Her DH travels frequently. So her life is already stressful. On top of that, she was a primary teacher, ward cub scout leader, and visiting teaching coordinator. When DH is out of town, she also has to cover his cub scouts job. After complaining about her stressful life, she asked what calling I had (didn't know I was exmo at the time). I said I didn't have one and was just a floater. I could hear the jealousy in her voice when she called out to her DH that I didn't have a calling.

Too bad I didn't have the guts at the time to say, "you, too, can be a floater."

I'm still waiting for her breakdown. Although according to her, only the church can bring true happiness. No thanks, I'll pass!

And lets not forget, the required calling that every single ward member has, even the kids........The janitorial calling.

I know a mormon doctor with a heavy work schedule who is also saddled with being a Boy Scout troop leader. It is driving him crazy, but he won't turn the bishop down.

I really dislike the tactic of calling members to serve from the pulpit after those members have already turned down the calling in private. And yet, I hear from mormons all that time that callings are on a "volunteer" basis and that members can turn them down.

That doesn't match up with reality, and it is, I think, a PR problem for them.

Once More Wrote:
>
> I really dislike the tactic of calling members to
> serve from the pulpit after those members have
> already turned down the calling in private. And
> yet, I hear from mormons all that time that
> callings are on a "volunteer" basis and that
> members can turn them down.
>
Yes, it's absolutely heinous. People are either shamed into accepting in order to avoid being publicly rebellious, or they make a scene (like I did) and are branded as infidels and troublemakers. I had never heard of any other bishoprics doing this until after it was done to me...it would make an interesting poll on the various exmo sites...hell, even on the TBM sites!

Remember that one of the main indications of a theological cult is they implement feaar of retribution!

Interesting observation. I dont think it's just small wards where members are being asked to pick up the slack and take multiple callings. For more than a decade, I've been in very large, active wards. My husband has had two callings for the last five years and a couple of years ago I was asked to take on a second calling which I declined.

I remember asking someone why it was necessary for so many to take on multiple callings when the ward was so large and active. They said it was because many people were needed for stake callings and that it depleted numbers in our ward. Now that I think about it, I suspect that it has more to do with the fact that members are feeling tapped out with other mandatory duties like cleaning the church and visiting and home teaching and may be declining even one calling.

more and more people are learning to say "no"

In Australia. When we walked in December, I had 3 callings. gospel doctrine teacher, ward stake auditor and once a month HP teacher. Wife was YWP, having just come in from Seminary teacher while weekly Primary teacher too.
Our ward had just been boosted from 2 meeting in the building to 1, with the other one being sent into 3 existing wards. Attendance was 150 odd.
In Adelaide they have 3 stakes. What....3 or 4,000 attendance? They have 3 because they have a temple and you needed 3 for a temple, apparently. A stake requires 70 or so people to run. So it means they are drained of leadership capable people, and everyone works double time.
I once had 12 people on my HTeach list. 4 is a minimum number of families I ever had in 20+ years of it. As in usually it would be 3 active families and one closet cross dresser 80 year old with a goiter (Sp?) Who won't leave the house, kind of 4th.
Spread thin is an understatement. Plus youth program, ward and youth temple trips, ward cleaning.
just exhausts members.
Not enough time to read the CES letter even

from a fellow Adelaidean exMo.

And the last one out the door has to shut out the lights.

I love it! They are causing people to burn out. They are a bit angry about it. I've heard some of the elites complaining. They're feeling used up.

My husband had a calling with the Boy Scouts, in spite of being inactive for several years. But he kept doing it because our son was in the troop and because my husband loves scouting. Some time ago, he asked to be released because he was burned out. When I asked him if he was worried about what the bishop would say (meaning if he was worried the bishop would be upset at someone quitting a calling) DH replied "No, I'm strong enough to turn him down if he asks me to do anything else." That wasn't at ALL what I thought he'd say - that he would turn the bishop down outright. I thought he'd take the calling, sorta do it for a couple of months and then just stop and not worry about it. But he quit and turned the bishop down to his face about another calling. That was a happy day for me.

I think more and more people are getting like this - that there is a push-back from the members that are fed up and not afraid to say so. So the few members downtrodden enough to feel they have to accept everything they are called to, are being called to more things. There are only so many willing horses to be saddled. The rest have run off the farm or simply refuse to be ridden as much. So you have to put more burdens on each back.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/10/2014 09:31PM by CA girl.

Good story, CA.

Some people in my ward have multiple callings, I however, don't have one. Weird.

I'm beginning to hope I might witness a Significant Reduction in LDS influence / intimidation with members, perhaps even fewer investigators 'Taking the Bait'.

It appears that a lot of factors are in place for this.

More and more people are reading self help books and going to therapy. Thy are learning that the word NO is a good word. The church has always taught that its a banned word.

People are finding out they can say NO, and mean it. The church hasn't had much experience with the N word. There's and up and coming generation that has learned to say NO and not feel any guilt about it. They found out that the only thing that happens when they say NO, is that they aren't stuck doing things they don't want to do.

At one point, DW and I had 5 callings between the two of us. A couple years later, DW was YWP while I was the Cubmaster AND Scoutmaster. Since we had smaller numbers, all the scouts 12 and older all met together (which meant that the only ones I wasn't in charge of were the 11 year olds). I turned down EQP twice before that.

I went to lunch with a friend who knows I'm exmo, and he complained about this very thing. He said "I jokingly tell people I want to go less active, but every time I say it, it becomes less of a joke." It ended up being a great "unmissionary" moment for me as he asked me some questions and we discussed problems with TSCC.

One way TSCC could tackle this problem is to dissolve YSA wards that exist outside of school campuses. YSA wards in the suburbs are full of able-bodied adults who could hold a more meaningful calling in a family ward, as opposed to some lame-ass "welcome committee chair" calling in a singles ward. I spent part of my mission in a struggling ward in southern California that couldn't fill callings. However, there were at least half a dozen YSA members who lived in that ward's boundaries who could have made a big difference by being in the regular ward.