I know I have mentioned this a few times, but I am trying to figure out why my friend is so brainwashed into thinking it is so great. I need to let him go, because he is a blind idiot. I even wrote him a letter addressing my concerns and asking if he could help me understand.

He ignored my letter, but his companion wrote this:

On Friday night we had a pretty successful meeting about the church tour. We are encountering a few obstacles because we are not allowed to hang things on the wall. We also apparently have too many pictures on the wall right now. The meeting was basically pitching our idea to the area seventy, President Lymar (?), and he would be taking it to the next level to see if we could get this sort of thing approved. They want our church tour to be the basis for all of Europe. Needless to say, it was a big meeting and there were some heavy hitters there. I had a blast. President Lymar loved it and was very impressed. Also, President Schwartz had an idea to make a sandwich man costume to advertise it. He doesn't know it yet, but we are actually doing it.

ARE YOU SERIOUS? Let's suppose this is the ONE true church like my friend keeps reminding me (while I am doubting). Would the Spirit REALLY need a Sandwich Man costume to get people to it?

Please help me. I know to some this is a dumb thing to dwell on, but I need to make sense of it all. I am so hurt he didn't write me back. I just asked him how he sincerely KNOWS the gospel is true. Why is it ok to teach someone across the country, but not help me in my unbelief. I feel dark and sick inside. I don't know if I am evil.....or the church. :( Help.

And NO ONE showing up for a month is what they want to base something on for ALL of Europe????? Please, please tell me I am not the crazy one. I feel so confused and sad. :( Obviously there is more to my confusion and sadness, but ya know. :(

sandwich boards are 'so' last century

Sign spinners for the church.... that's the way to go

Your friend is focused on doing a Sisyphisifian task of shoving a gigantic bolder up a very steep hill. I don't think he's going to listen to anything that goes against the job at hand right now. It's not you . . .it's the job.

If you are going to host a church tour you had better have a church worth seeing. In Europe, with all of the lovely, historically significant churches, that will be a tall task for the Mormons.

That's a "cheese" sandwich if I've ever heard of one.

No doubt the Germans will be startled by the display of sandwich board advertising technology.

Hahaha! Yes. They'll be astounded! I'm sure they'll think it quite clever!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/03/2014 04:32PM by Devoted Exmo.

Too damned funny. I agree with the post above... Sign spinners are the way to go. People seeking the one true church of God will be looking for sign spinners–NOT a sandwich man.

Now why didn't he respond to your specific questions? Simple answer. He has been instructed to not respond to doubters or ponder their questions.

Remember, this 18 year old/19 year old change is not about baptizing new members. There were sufficient numbers of missionaries to baptize converts before the "revelation." The change was designed to retain those who go on missions.

How do I stop from being so terribly hurt though. I asked for ONE paragraph. ONE. And then we get this dribble in a main e-mail. I haven't stopped crying all day because I feel so all alone. I really, really thought he would help me understand my feelings.

I am not saying this for you to feel sorry for me. I just feel truly alone, and he was one of my best friends who never seemed to judge me here. I needed someone to care. I am feeling so down and all he can talk about is stupid sandwich signs.

I really am just deep down, hard core hurt. I pleaded so hard for an answer and hey 'ask the missionaries' didn't work. I did tell him to be 'real' so it probably hurt his ego, but why are my apostate feelings and darkness worth less than glorifying the great missionary and sparing HIS feelings. Selfish on my part, but what about me? I am so, so lost and scared right now. :(

It can be very frustrating and down right terrifying to question the new reality that you're facing. It's not easy to face it alone and unfortunately they have no answers to help you.

There are a lot of reasons why he may not have responded to you. He is young and blinded by the church and probably see's his mission in Germany is the most important thing in his life right now. So, dealing with your doubts, especially ones that might make him ask difficult questions, might not be on his radar.

Feel free to post your questions here, there's a lot of good advice from very smart people that can be had.

Thank you. I just miss him and my heart aches. I helped him through many issues before his mission, so he could go, and now I am left in the dust.

I just hold friends dear, so it is hurting so bad that a person that you loved is forgotten simply to spin your wheels and get no one to join. What ever happened to the lost sheep analogy.

Write him off, he is distancing himself from you and your daughter as it is.

If there were a viable relationship he would never have gone on a mission in the first place.
His actions are very telling.

He chose his family and his Mormon culture over you.
That's the decision he made, don't torment yourself over it.

Bologna sandwich?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/03/2014 05:16PM by jerry64.

They should have put out a sign offering free sandwiches.

Oh, and that sandwich board had better say, "Frei Bier," if they want German visitors.

From a distance you can't make too many judgments. He may have a really horrible companion that is pressuring him to be very rule obedient. He may have a horrible mission president too. There is no telling what kind of pressure and nagging the guy is getting not to mention the extra pressure from parents to serve and honorable mission. The brain washing is incredible when you are a missionary.

I'd just try not to get upset and hang back. Nothing wrong with expressing your concerns in a letter but if you don't get any response then leave the ball in his court and move on. When he gets home you can have a long talk about the mission but for the time being you'll probably have to let it alone. No telling what he's up against or how hard he's trying to make his mission seem relevant.

If you are corresponding electronically be aware both your e-mails and his are being read by various commissars.

(Commissars were secret police/KGB who's job was to make sure everyone followed all the rules)

He may not be able to express himself without fear of reprisal. It may be he has been coerced into limiting what he says.

Maybe you can correspond the old fashioned way. Snail mail!