I'm so mad...my dad has cancer & asked his bishop to give him & my mom blessings. My mom doesn't attend or believe but she supports my TBM father. When the bishop gave my mom a blessing he basically told her that if she does all the "right things" like being an active believing Moron again...my dad will survive his cancer. The sad part is my mom is actually wondering if he could be right and that maybe she should go to church with him. So f***ing ridiculous, who the hell does this douche bag think he is. You just don't say *hit like that to people.

(Sorry, lots of swearing coming up because this stuff sends me into orbit.)

That sh*t is fucking maddening. My sister is a paraplegic. Stupid stake patriarch tells her in her official Mormon tarot card & astrology reading that she WILL be completely healed and walk again in her/this lifetime, but ONLY when the RS sisters in the church learn their lesson that they are supposed to learn, according to her faith.

There is zero fucking chance of her walking again. That asshole needs to be bitch-slapped into spirit prison.

I *HATE* this!!!! Bishop and Stake President blessings to my Dad and mother during my dad's fatal lung cancer gave my mother such false hope, that she made extremely poor financial decisions.

She ended up wasting hundreds of thousands of dollars, as well as not preparing to support herself. Promises that he would be healed and her end up 'wealthy' (yes they actually promised that) meant she wouldn't listen to any non-penishood finacial advice.

She now is destitute and lives in poverty.

I'm angry for you too! Why would anyone make such a promise to someone who is so vulnerable. They might as well go see a psychic! That's just inexcusable! The worst part would be if the person giving the blessing actually believed what they were saying! Why can't people see through this kind of stuff? Sorry for your heartbreak!! You have every reason to be outraged!

Would they consider talking to a mainline pastor who could set them straight?

I wish...even if my TBM father did talk with someone else I don't think that he would take what they have to say very seriously because he believes so deeply in Mormonism. My mom might be open to it.

Ask your mom if it ever crossed her mind how immoral such a proposition is.

This blessing makes the assertion that one person’s state of health or wellbeing is based on the actions of a complete and separate individual. It is a threat loaded with guilt inducing nonsense and it reduces personal situations to be blamed on the perceived righteousness of others and not on the individual whose condition is self-induced or simply a coincidence of life circumstance.

Every part of this kind of thing is wrong and immoral.

And since he can foretell the future, he should be willing to sign off on that and be able to give an exact time frame. Tell him that you plan to call all the newspapers to publish the promised miracle. Put his feet to the fire. Make HIM accountable.

But seriously. This is a win win for the bishop. If your father is healed, then he gets to give God and the church the credit. If he isn't, then he gets to blame your mother.

I think the key here is to support your mother, and help her set boundaries. She shouldn't LET anyone give her a blessing or religious counsel. Supporting your father doesn't mean she has to meet with the bishop OR put up with manipulation. Help her see through the manipulation, and perhaps even call the bishop back and give him some "feedback" on the mindf**k. Make it clear that that was a low blow, and not helpful in getting through this difficult time.

Active LDS (and non-LDS) people die from health problems, including cancer, on a regular basis. And no matter WHAT they do, sometimes the disease wins, sometimes it doesn't. Him trying to use this illness to make someone come back (basically out of fear and desperation) is the lowest.

I'm sorry about your father.

If the church was true, it would stand on facts and reason. It wouldn't require threats or manipulation. Or ignoring the facts.

+1

So wrong on so many levels. Some dare call it "blackmail."

As if caregivers do not have enough on their plate without the bishop spooning on a great big helping of guilt. Sheesh!!



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/09/2014 04:31PM by sloperut.

There are a couple of simple responses to this:

"Why would a loving 'Heavenly Father' punish a believing man for my problems. If he wants to punish me, fine, go ahead, I'm standing right here, but no truly loving parent would punish another child for others transgression."

"So, according to the articles of faith, we aren't being punished for Adam's transgression, suggesting that God only punishes those who do the wrong thing... Tell me, why isn't god healing my husband cancer... It's due to MY inactivity?"

"Did you really just use this horrible tragic event to try to get manipulate my feelings to get me back to church? If he dies, can you imagine the guilt that would place on me, no matter what action I take? What a horrible person you are!"

and, short but sweet, "How dare you suggest such a thing!"

Just reading your post made me furious. If I were in the same position, and my TBM DH was ill, and somebody gave a blessing like that, I think I'd probably say something like, "You lying, manipulative BA$TARD! Get out of my house this instant and don't ever come back!"

Of course, that might upset my husband and of course, he wouldn't need that.

But what a crass, incredibly insensitive thing for that guy to do!

There is no excuse for this bishop's behavior. He's seriously playing God when he has no right to make promises like this. And notice how self-serving what is asked of your mom is. This man has no conscience and is all arrogance. I'm so sorry he's making a difficult time more painful. Some Mormons seem to excel at this - all for the opportunity to flaunt their self-appointed, delusional feelings of superiority.

What a bunch of horse crap. Wish that it was only Mormons who did that kind of stuff, but the "name it and claim it" crowd--a sub-group of the "charismatic" movement--is also famous for that. And they're all baffled when, after what they say doesn't come true, people turn their backs on religion entirely.

I don't like the guilt. I definitely feel for your Mom. Should she support your Dad? Sure. But there has to be boundaries. If I were her--and I'm not--I'd meet privately with the bishop and make it clear that I had returned to activity to support my husband and that he--and his VT, HT, RS and all other TBM goons--should stay away from me.

I know DW's old bishop wouldn't have agreed with your dad's bishop. He stayed bishop--and his wife stayed primary president--the entire time she had terminal cancer. Sure, they did the priesthood blessing thing and the prayer thing--along with all kinds of modern oncology--but ultimately, they seemed to understand that sometimes life sucks and they accepted what happened without blaming or guilt-tripping anyone else. While I cared little for their religion, I liked them personally.

Remember Elder Matthew Cowley? He came home from the South Pacific with all sorts of miraculous mission stories. One told of a young boy who was born blind. The Boy's father asked Cowley to give his son his vision for the first time in his life. And Cowley did it! ... Supposedly.

My TBM Uncle was deaf and always mourned the fact that Cowley was no longer alive to restore his hearing.

But think about those early days in the 50's when Cowley was still alive? Can you imagine how many hopelessly desperate people must have searched him out and were constantly knocking on his door for help? I hope they drove him crazy.

When you claim to perform miracles and they don't really happen - you can only blame the victim - who then becomes victimized twice.

My FIL had a 100% fatal cancer. He was in the last stages of it. A PH holder gave him a blessing and told him he would be healed. He died two weeks later.

The only good thing is that we all KNEW there was no way he was going to live. He had Mesothelioma. Nobody survives it. You're lucky if you get 90 days after diagnosis. We basically ignored the stupid blessing. Several of the relatives that heard it were nevermo that blessing insured they would stay that way.


Edit: I have a chronic illness. My BIL has the gift of healing according to his PB. His wife has the same illness as I do.
He's given us both blessings over the last 20 years. Surprise! We're both worse than we've ever been. Since they are both supposedly more righteous than me, I thought it might take with his wife. Nope.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/10/2014 01:35AM by madalice.

This is so digusting!

This is another consequence of trying to run a 'church' on the cheap,
i.e. well-intended dupeds trained by the monkey-see monkey-do method masquerading as leaders playing professional clergy.

They made mother responsible for whatever happens.
That's a set-up for a guilt trip, simultaneously absolving priesthood holders of all responsibility.
It may seem brilliantly Machiavellian but is only crudely manipulative.


Condolences for what father and family is going through.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/09/2014 12:56PM by zenjamin.

Just hoping, not suggesting you do it.

I have seen two such incidences. One was a friend of mine who had a difficult time having children. Her third pregnancy was going badly, so she had a preisthood blessing. She lost the baby. It turned out there was no baby when she lost it, she had only carried the placenta, the baby died VERY early on. The Bishop who told her she would have a live baby was gobsmacked. As was my friend.

Another time there was a SP's wife I knew of who had final stage uterine cancer. She was leaving a large family. Her mother was caring for the children and her sick daughter. A member of another Stake arrived on their doorstep in tears saying that he had been 'inspired and instructed' to travel to their home and give her a blessing. They all agreed to the blessing. He told her she would live. She died a few weeks later. A LOT of people had a LOT of problems over that one!

It is a cruel thing to do, to give a person who is struggling with dying, false hope, not to mention their families. What a terrible thing to do! And all in the name of a loving Heavenly Father!

One other example of these "blessings" was my former MIL who was told that she would be healed from her rheumatoid arthritis and be able to walk without a cane. The reason for that "blessing" was that she had a flesh eating bacterial infection because her medication weakened her immune system to the point where it made her more vulnerable to infections. Before that infection, she used a wheelchair for outside the home, and a cane on her good days at home. On her bad days, she used a walker at home.

She did recover from that infection, but her rheumatoid arthritis wasn't improved at all as she still needed that wheelchair outside of the home. That showed me that those blessings were really at best, the placebo effect, and quack medicine at the worst.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/10/2014 04:36AM by adoylelb.

Two blessings I gave almost immediately came to pass. Twice I gave blessing of comfort to the dying, releasing them from this life, letting them know they were forgiven and God was ready for them. Both died within hours. One was on monitors and, although comatose, showed reaction on the monitors.

My wife had a similar thing occur when she had cancer and her dad and brothers gave her a blessing. Everything was fine until it got to the coded warning that the blessing was contingent upon being a good mormon girl.

Everything in moism is "contingent". Christ healed without such "contingencies". Even the marriage covenants are "contingent" on following "the one true church". Not get healed? Your own fault. Note that in the wisdom of the Apocrypha it is written that one should seek the physician for healing.

People should ask to record these blessings. Let's see if these penisholders will go on the record. After all, if their blessings come true, wouldn't they want everyone to know?

This type of manipulation is awful.

Just another case of Mormonism as an evil con.