I remember back in the day when Mormon dances were fun. They had live bands. They always had a dress code and even many non-members showed up appropriately dressed so they too could attend. So my daughter went with her Mormon friend to one of their dances the other evening and she said it was boring and she wasn't going to go again. Of course she runs into some childhood Mormon friends there and they all go gushy over her being at church which she perceived, and rightly so, as fake. So what's happened to the youth dances? Are they really that bad?

Well the last time I was at one was about six years ago.

They play the same line dancing songs every time.

The dress code is still pretty strict, for instance, if you show up without a tie (as a male) you will likely be given a donor.

And there is always heavy chaperoning to make sure no one is enjoying themselves too much.

There was always someone there with a BOM, ready to separate any couples dancing too close with it.
They hAd some fun, publicly shaming kids.

I just turned 30, so it's been a while since I went to a youth dance. But in my day, you couldn't go to them without getting a dance card from your bishop. This included having an interview, basically the same as a limited-use temple recommend interview, and signing a pledge to keep the rules on the back of the card.

I lived in the south SL Valley, where there was such a concentration of mormons that there were at least 3 (possibly more) regions represented in my high school. The worst part of the youth dances was that they were done on a region level, and if you wanted to attend one at a region that wasn't your own (with friends from school) you had to obtain a dance card for THEIR region, which meant getting a dance card from a bishop within that region. I had to do this twice. I went with my friends to their bishops to get my cards the evening before the dance. One of the bishops just saw that I already had one from my own bishop and signed off on one for me. But the other one wanted to give me the full interview. For a dance card. To go to a dance. A man I didn't know and would never see again wanted to judge my worthiness to go drink watery punch and bee-bop to the Backstreet Boys in a stake center cultural hall for a couple of hours.

Of course, we were encouraged to bring our non-member friends along with us, so long as they agreed to sign the pledge on the back of the card to behave appropriately at the dance and dressed mormon-modestly. But with the hovering chaperones, full house lights, heavily-censored music and general social awkwardness that surrounds teenagers, none of them would ever want to come. I only went to a handful of these dances myself and hated it most of the time I was there.

I grew up in central Florida and I remember our youth dances in the early 90s being a lot of fun. Always had a good dj (dad of one of the girls in my ward), and played pretty good music.

The dance card thing must have started after me or they didn't do it in Florida. I do recall when they started making us wear Sunday dress to dances. I wasn't much of a fan of that.

You should try going to a southern YSA dance. They are uh-mazing.

awkwardness of a middle school dance + refreshments for a little kid soccer team + socially inept adults who can't dance + wholesome music picked by said adults playing over a laptop and speakers = A good place to find your eternal companion. Bahahaha.

If you are really lucky, there will be homemade paper decorations of sorts. Possibly even a smattering of balloons. In the south there are usually anywhere from 12-50 people. YAY.

California Mormon dances in the seventies were a hoot. No live bands, but plenty of amplified music. Lots and lots of girls to dance with. The older people running the show would get tired of the disco songs and put on slow crooner music. Then the boys and girls would dance the dreaded "bear hug." Immediately, an upbeat song would come on to draw the couples apart.

Everyone, member or not, had to pay two bucks to get in, and there was a dress code. One time a nevermo buddy and I dressed up in our finest leisure suits and strolled over to the ward house. When the greeters saw us, two hippie punks with shoulder length hair, they hid the cash box. We just threw our money on the table and waltzed in. I got to squeeze a couple of girls, and that was worth the deuce.

Don't know where in California you were in the 70s, but the youth and then young adult dances I went to in Southern California in the 70s *always* had bands, and definitely not always bands made up of church members. The music was normal music (anything from disco when that came around to hard rock - I remember one band that played at a lot of their dances that had a lead singer who was absolutely convinced that he was Robert Plant, all the way to doing an amazing version of "Stairway to Heaven"), played loud.

I don't ever recall having to pay to get in, but that was a long time ago. I also don't remember having to have any kind of interview or "dance card" in order to get in. The dress code was "Sunday best", of course, but there didn't seem to be an awful lot of angst about how people were dressed.

Being in the L.A. County/Orange County area, there were several dances to choose from just about every Friday and Saturday night.

Things went downhill fast, however, when I moved to Central California in the late 70s. Although I will never forget one dance when the guy who was doing the music (there weren't as many dances with bands there) put on "Time Warp" from "Rocky Horror". The reaction was absolutely hilarious.

I can't think of a worse time. Those lines dances, those effing line dances...

Ugh. Glad I was done before the boot scoot boogie brought back line dancing.
Gawdawful.

You sound so much like me. I graduated at Palmdale, CA. The stake center was across the street from the high school, and it was popular. Kids came in after school and hung out. We had dances with live music, the best group being "The Others," a rock group from Lancaster. Sister May would hold her hands over her ears and complain, and then look away when people danced the "funky monkey" or whateverthehell it was called. Generally, when the band slipped in to Gloria! by the Stones, the adults would go up and make them play something else. Anyway, point is, it was a blast and no one was embarrassed.

Then something happened. It made a giant sucking sound. What was it, exactly?... Oh, right. Correlation. Our secure little Mormon world of dances, church-wide softball and baseball, adventure trips by the Explorers and at cooking, hiking, and sailing at girls' camp, and Relief Society sisters cooking holiday meals in functioning ward kitchens all disappeared with the giant sucking sound. Now here we are.

Our dances attracted about 500+ youth back in the day (mid-to-late 90s). I ran them with a friend of mine who was a professional DJ at the time and we rocked it every other Saturday. The stake made a killing off of cover ($1 with dance card $2 without). Each ward was assigned to provide food and drinks. Nonmembers showed up all the time. After I came back from my mission it seemed that things had changed. I know correlation was way before my time, but it seemed like our stake was a few decades behind the rest of the church. They started heavily screening all the music and anything with questionable lyrics was nixed, this started to include music videos of said music, or anything slightly risqué. They started just using an iTunes playlist instead of allowing us to actually mix the music. Then they started playing EFY music. Needless to say 500 kids went to around 50 and about 99% member youth. These dances were great "missionary" tools because everyone knew that there were some pretty cute chicks at this gigs. Now no one wants to go to them anymore. I went to a YSA dance a few years ago and left within 5 minutes. What ever the church had going for it died years ago when it came to "exciting" youth activities.

I remember our ysa church dances being well attended. We had dance cards, dress codes, etc. (for the youth dances)

Music was heavily censored though, they couldn't play anything with swears or sexual content etc.

I didn't like them. I couldn't dance, lived out of town, found the whole thing awkward. Asked one girl out and got the I'd love to when I'm 16 (she was 15), anyways it was pretty lame.

I did end up meeting my wife at a ysa dance... so I guess that's something, but the dance itself was still awful. She just seemed to be having fun (and most people weren't) so I asked her out.

we had dj's

Welcome to the No-Fun Mormon church of today.

The kids in our stake had to interview with the bishop and get a recommend to go to dances. That included the non members. My kids hated those dances, and only went to one or two. They were boorring.

The dances in the 70's were fun. Live bands, and good food.

Dances were still fun in the early 80s in CA. We had dance cards too, issued for the whole year and every month there was a different dance with the dates and places listed on each card. They were pretty fun - even the non-Mormons came when there wasn't much else going on. We just had to get them a guest pass and they had to follow the standards. And, there was a little lady chaperone who ran around every dance with a decibel meter, making sure the sound didn't get out of control.

My son decided to go to a stake dance last week with his Mormon friends. They left after 20 minutes because it was so stupid. It was a costume dance - almost a Halloween dance, right before Christmas. Bet they saved a ton on decorations that way. He and DD are going to the stake New Year's dance tomorrow but nowadays they don't need a standards card and the dances don't seem scheduled. They just pop up randomly. He only goes occasionally and he said some were fun but others were just boring. And he doesn't usually see other kids from our ward there - I guess they have to find some church activity to ditch.

The stake dances I went to were anything _but_ dancing. They played music over the sound system in the gym, but most people just stood around talking. They set tables up just off the gym floor for people to sit at and talk and play board games that they brought. I remember a new year's "dance" where we played Chinese Writing and did things like "Let' have a cartwheel race across the gym!" all ideas thought of by the leaders.

Since we're strolling down memory lane...

Joined the Church when I was 18, so never been to a Youth Dance.

I went to YSA dances from the age of 18 until about 34, when they finally started kicking me out. Mostly in the Seattle area, but I also lived in Utah (Provo and Salt Lake) and also southern California for a few years. Back in the 1980s the Seattle YSA had dances every Friday and Saturday night, except for maybe one Saturday a month. It was great. Many years later, the Young Adult dances dwilded down to two a month, then only one. Don't ask me what happened. I met one of my girlfriends at a YSA dance, when I was 26. Oh yes, met another gf at a YSA dance when I was 22. Met another gf at a single's dance when I was 34, and not even a Member anymore. Met another gf at a YSA dance when I was 29, and on the going inactive. So, met four of my six girlfriends at Mormon dances.

Being a loner with Asperger's syndrom, the dances were really my only chance to socialize. But, being a loner, didn't do much of that at the dances. But, if was fun to watch the pretty girls dance. Even addictive. I usually only socialized with other loners, who weren't very socialable either. Mostly, I just stood there and watched the pretty girls dancing. That's about it. Did that for 18 years, until I finally was forced to go to the SA dances.

The Single Adult dances are SCARY! It's supposed to be over 30. Let me tell you, they are more likely over 50! Never saw anyone in their 30s at a SA dance. At SA dances you the following types of women....

Fat women
Fatter women
too old women
Fugly women
plain janes
(very rare) attractive women in her early 40s

The attractive women in their early 40s get MOBBED by men at the SA dances, including men into their 70s. If you don't dance with one of these attractive women as soon as they walk into the Cultural Hall, then FORGET IT, you'll never get a change to! One of the Don Juans will wind up dancing with her the entire dance.

I've attended SA dances since about age 33 until today (53). So, I know a lot about them. I've heard "Gimme that Old Time Rock-and-Roll" played at SA dances so many times I think I'm gonna SCREAM if I hear it again!!! When I hear that coming on, I have to run to the Foyer. Many years ago, the fat women didn't dance at all. However, for about 15 years or so, they've been dancing the Line Dances. We didn't have Line Dances at the YSA dances when I attended them. I'm happy the Fat girls have something to do now except raiding the snack bar.

Never been married, so I didn't meet my "wife" at a Church dance. Met some hopefuls, but never panned out. If you live in the Salt Lake City area, try out Dee's dances. They are the most popular for the over 35 crowd. Always packed. Just do the three "W" thing, and a dot, and "deesdances" and another dot, and a "c o m" thing and you'll see their web site. Dee's has a huge dance every Saturday night, in Salt Lake Valley, or, once a month, in Lindon (Utah County). They are always good, and, believe it or not, a handful of attractive women always show up.

Wow! With your open objectification of women, I'm surprised you've never been married!

I'm not married because I was always poor.Had nothing to do with my looks or personality. I could have married an ugly woman, or a very fat one, but then there is sex....

I used to dance with the fat women, and the ugly ones, because I didn't want them feeling like they didn't exist. All the other LDS men would simply ignore them, completely, as if they didn't exist.

I would have married a plain jane, but the plain janes were all in love with the womanizers, who'd use them for sex, and then dump them, and then marry a 18 year old virgin (if they had money).

I had Mormon roommates and friends, male friends and roommates, who were womanizers. Pure Chauvinists. They were married...ALOT...and divorced...and married again...all to young gorgeous Mormon women.

Age happens to us all. A few people age very well indeed. Many of us have various issues ranging from weight gain to sags and wrinkles, spider veins, balding, paunchy stomachs, etc. I don't think that women are any different from men in this regard. Take a look at the single men around you and ask yourself if they are really so much better looking than the single women.

You can get past looks but it takes time and friendship to get to that point. If you don't give average looking women a chance you may be missing out on a great partner.

I don't know where all the Robert Downey Jrs and Brad Pitts are hiding, but it's certainly not where I live.

Wow "the church is the best community in the world."

Karlos, that was comedy genius. I almost lost a mouthful of breakfast when I read that. And to think that you dug deep enough to use a 3 1/2 year old thread for your setup. That shows dedication to your comedic craft.

CrispingPin Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Wow "the church is the best community in the
> world."
>
> Karlos, that was comedy genius. I almost lost a
> mouthful of breakfast when I read that. And to
> think that you dug deep enough to use a 3 1/2 year
> old thread for your setup. That shows dedication
> to your comedic craft.


^ this ^

I remember going to those dances in the 70s. Live bands. Pretty good music. No dance card or recommend needed. Just don't look grubby. Ties ? What are those ? Had lots of fun.

I guess those dances have devolved the same way FHE has.
More or less propaganda vehicles.
Mormonism sucks the life out of everything.

No Doubt the pencils will be pretty sharp to track-down & count the pennies involved for that watered-down punch, paper decorations & balloons!

Did anyone notice that this thread is from 2013?

I have fun memories of the YSA "institute dances" I was a non member when I first started going got invited by a RM friend from high school he told me that mormon girls could sense if you masterbated or not so I`d lay off it for a few days so I could be spirtual enough for the girls ha anyhow I met alot of fun people, met a few girlfriends at these dances. I eventually got baptized and enjoyed my ysa days up till I turned 31 and got the boot,the mid singles scene is just a real bore and started my decline in the church.