I went to a missionary homecoming last Sunday and the RM who spoke made a comment that has been bugging me. He said something about people who are inactive should not feel unworthy or intimidated to come back to church. He said he especially noticed this on his mission with the Relief Society sisters because some felt they were unworthy to be around other sisters who seemed to have such perfect lives. He made another similar comment elsewhere in his talk about not feeling you can't come to church because you aren't as righteous as the members. I wish I could remember his exact wording but his attitude was clear. He believes one reason inactives don't attend is because they don't feel worthy around such righteous people as Mormons.

Do ANY of you fee like that? Because to me, it sounded like the most ridiculous excuse yet for why inactives are inactive. I swear, Mormons really see themselves as the popular, A-student, gorgeous people at the high school whom everyone wants to be like. It never occurs to them that inactives and exmos see them more like the once loved ex-boyfriend/girlfriend who was caught cheating and lying to them and deserves to be thrown out on their butts. We see them more like the crazy, unworthy boyfriend that is now stalking us who we wish would go away and who we avoid because we NEVER want to get back together with. It would never occur to me to stay away from church because Mormons are too GOOD for me. With some exceptions, I think I'm a lot nicer than they are and that I'm courageous for taking a stand for what I believe in. I haven't abdicated my morals to Mormon obedience and I definitely don't want to behave with the arrogance and unkindness I see them routinely justify. Believe me, I don't hang out with Mormons because there are much better people in the world and they do NOT intimidate me with their goodness - if anything, they give me the creeps with how shallow it is.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 12/27/2013 02:20AM by CA girl.

They've got to make up silly reasons why people leave. Perhaps the truth is too painful.

As far as feeling less worthy around them? If anything, I feel kind of bad for them. Unless they are pushing and annoying. Then I just get irritated.

I'll bet that 99.99% of ex-Mos are NOT feeling unworthy. I think they feel more like gagging than feeling inferior to TBMs. I think they stay away because they don't want their gag reflex tested constantly.

We lived in a well-to-do area and your worthiness was judged by who had the flashiest bmw, mercedes, or lexus. If you drove a honda or something average you were not worthy and God hated you.

It depends.

I know inactives who drink and don't go to church, yet at their core still believe they have eternal consequences and therefore feel guilty about doing those things and going to church.

exmos like myself and most others who have ventured to become active on this site for example, on the other hand, have cleansed themselves of the whole mindf&$% and can laugh at it all.

I will go to church on special occasions, including work, and now that I think about it, the reasons I don't like being in a church building anymore are:

1. love bombing,
2. i'd rather be doing something more productive with my sunday
3. the arrogant ignorance that comes from speakers in sacrament meetings boils my blood.

Its not the exmormons who feel unworthy.

Its probably the less active jack mormons.
Which may have been the type of people this RM got their ideas from.

I personally only felt that way when I was young and what I believed was a chronic masturbator. I think you have to have some level of belief to the church to feel this way.

These days I feel like it is the mormons who should feel unworthy to be around normal people, with their close mindedness and piss poor critical thinking.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/27/2013 03:13AM by nonsequiter.

Brain isn't fully "wired" and functional until roughly 25-26.
(And it shows actuarially - reason auto rental restrictions)

Forgive him his simple- mindedness.

"Broad-mindedness is High-mindedness
Flattened by Experience"



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/27/2013 03:29AM by zenjamin.

No SIR, NOT this little puppy! I am no better or worse than anyone else!!! If anyone suggests that I may feel inferior for some reason, they betta duck!!! Arrogant so and so!!

I only felt unworthy because I refused to be brainwashed. Why was I different than the others? Why did I have to reject most of the teachings? Why did I always feel like things didn't add up? Why was I trying to put things on a shelf? Why was the church telling me how to live my life? Why were they trying to make me feel guilty for natural sexual feelings? Why was I asked to repress natural feelings god gave me? Why was the true church so small? Why did the world think mormons were weird? Why did I have to believe a prophet was inspired when he would say stupid things?why did some people look like zombie families pretending life in the church was so special? Why were their so many people in the world with different cultures and ideas? Why couldn't a woman have a career? Why did I have to run they family when my wife could do the same. Why was it that we baptized children 8 years old when they didn't have the capacity to make that commitment at that age? Why was I told to go on a mission? ( I didn't) why did you have to say the sacrament prayer over and over until you got it right, everyone knew what it said? Why do I have to kill myself if I don't believe? (Pre 1990 temple crap) why did I have to have a new name? Did god not know me? Why can't nonmembers watch a temple wedding when you could lie to get in? Why did I have to wear a white shirt to church? Why couldn't my hair touch my collar? Why was I forced to go to church when I didn't want to go? Why did I have to go home teaching when people didn't want us in their home? Why do you have to wear funny underwear to be faithful? Why did god curse black people? How did Indians turn white? Why do people die after a priesthood blessing? Why can't I hear the still small voice? Why can't god talk to me? Why does god need my money? Why was the BOM changed? Why is the JOD not official doctrine? Why do we have apologist when we have apostles and a prophet? Why is TSCC not responsible for their actions like the members are? Why did JS do little girls? Where did the golden plates go? Why did BY say so many stupid things? Why did did pres Hinkley lie in public. Why is the history of the church anti-mormon material? How did we have two prophet on different continents when we were only to have one at a time? Why did JS not remember the first vision story very well? Why did the mormons kill 120 people in southern Utah?

Why is it when I asks any of the above questions, do I get the following response:

" I know the church is true, I know that JS was a prophet of god and restored the church. We have a living prophet to guide us in our lives. I bear witness that these things are so TRUE.
In the name of holy make believe Almond Joy.

Wow that was a lot of baggage.

Sorry, I wrote this in the original form of the BOM maybe someone else could make it into a list.

He's trying to read minds and his silly assumption flatters the morg ego.

I actually think I'm too good to go to mindless morgbot meetings.

I don't feel unworthy around those who go to church. I'm relieved that I don't go and know that I don't have to. I do think some Mormons think they are better than inactives because they attend, and that alone makes them more "valiant" in God's eyes, and in each others eyes.

I'm holding fast to what I know about the church, and I will not be intimidated into going back, just to keep up with the supercilious Mormons. I haven't lost my morals just because I don't go. In fact, I feel more spiritually enlightened and more inclined to do good now than when I was active. I can choose to be kind, ethical,compassionate on my own, without someone telling me I must participate in service projects and never refuse a calling.

It's great to know the true meaning of "free agency".

I generally feel bored to the point of taking my own life with a dull pencil around Mormons.

The whole concept of being worthy or unworthy is such an odd thing about Mormonism. Catholics spend a lot of time reflecting on their sins, but it is made clear to them that all people sin. The result is that no Catholic would ever feel too "unworthy" to associate with other Catholics or come to church. There's an attitude among Catholics that "we're all in this together."

I think with Mormons, it goes back to the idea that if people don't feel welcome at your church, then maybe Mormons should figure out in what ways they are being unwelcoming.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/27/2013 11:23AM by summer.

That's it! That must explain why I won't run to the baptismal font and give my life to the Morg. I don't feel worthy enough!

NOT!

Not WORTHY?! Try "not interested".

No I never felt unworthy to go back to church. I felt that the church was unworthy of my time and devotion.

If anybody actually told this kid that they didn't come to church because they felt unworthy, I would assume that they came up with that line as a way to put him off without being offensive. Lots of people wish the missionaries would go away and leave them alone. But very few people are willing to come out and say it. They come up with "nice" fibs so as not to hurt the feelings of these young, earnest "ambassadors".

I felt like that when I was an active member. Sometimes I'd just stop going for about a month at a time. I wouldn't pick up when my home teaching campaign called. Nothing. So I did feel a little sheepish attending church because I felt like I might have burned some bridges.

I could definitely see some members not attending because they don't feel able to compete with the Jones.

There's a big difference between the inactive and the non-believers.

How disgusting! I have "sacrificed my morals"--after all I'm an adulteress (tongue in cheek).

I was such a good girl for so long, I've really enjoyed being a bad girl. I understand we confuse the hell out of the neighbors. I have no desire whatsoever to go participate with the "elite."

As for the single women--they don't attend because they are treated like shit. I chose to go inactive when I knew I'd be a single mother. I explained how singles are treated in mormonism to my dad once--I rendered him speechless, which didn't happen much in his life.

cl2 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> How disgusting! I have "sacrificed my
> morals"--after all I'm an adulteress (tongue in
> cheek).
>
> I was such a good girl for so long, I've really
> enjoyed being a bad girl. I understand we confuse
> the hell out of the neighbors. I have no desire
> whatsoever to go participate with the "elite."
>
> As for the single women--they don't attend because
> they are treated like @#$%&. I chose to go
> inactive when I knew I'd be a single mother. I
> explained how singles are treated in mormonism to
> my dad once--I rendered him speechless, which
> didn't happen much in his life.


A good friend of mine is a single working mom and always skips church on mother's day and father's day because she feels bad that her family doesn't meet the Mormon ideal.

Self-righteous comments like this make me crazy. When I was at BYU, a non-mo friend came to visit and I brought her to church. I was so embarrassed when people bore their testimonies about how grateful they were to be around such worthy people and how they are so glad they never lowered their standards to date a non-mo in high school because they may not have been qualified to attend such an amazing school. Then, as if that wasn't bad enough, the next few people piggybacked on those same comments. It became abundantly clear that Mormonism was filled with self-righteous ass-hats and the end result was PRIDE!! ZERO situational awareness!! Had my friend not been with me, I'm not sure I would have thought much about the comments.

These types of comments would NOT be tolerated in mainstream churches.

It makes me wonder what Mormons *really* think of nevermos. Do they really consider all of us to have low or nonexistent standards? We may have a different set of standards, but it doesn't mean that there is nothing there. My family and friends would compare very nicely to Mormon families in terms of how they conduct their day-to-day lives. Most people are pretty ordinary. They work, they go to school, they have dinner with their families, they pay their taxes. Do Mormons see drunken orgies everywhere? lol

I believe it's the TBM's that constantly feel unworthy. This may be one of the reasons anti-depressant use is so high in the state of UT.

Once I learned to let go and realize I didn't need to hold myself to their standards, I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders and I felt true peace.

Truly, the exmo burden is light and its yoke is easy!

Probably HE never feels completely worthy. So maybe he was projecting. At least he gets to feel more worthy than people like US.

For me it wasn't so much as feeling unworthy, but feeling incompatible.

This shit is preached from the pulpit during general conference, even by the silver fox himself. His third talk during Oct 2013 GC PH session was full of this crap. Somehow everyone fails to recognize this and thinks he is something special and wants a big tent mormonism. Bullshit. He's the same as the rest.

I don't attend anymore for two reasons:
1.) I resigned, so what's the point of attending. All it does is lower my IQ and raise my blood pressure.
2.) All I want to do every second while I am there is run around telling people they are deluded and need to wake the fuck up. That wouldn't go over so well.

lol yeah -- that's the ticket!

I knew plenty of Mormons, jack mormons, and ex-mormons who all described themselves feeling "unworthy". It's a negative moral taught by Christianity as a whole: "We are all sinners"/"Born in sin"/etc.

yes I definately feel that they are unworthy

My wife and I attended our parents' ward for the Christmas program (in which - shocker - Jesus was barely mentioned), and the choir director begged us to join in and help them sing. I politely refused. My wife, though, went up, and stood out in her green silk blouse and black pants in a sea of dowdy, shapeless, floral-print dresses.

We definitely felt out of place, but it was more a feeling that we had progressed and enriched ourselves while the ward building and members had stayed the same, a mausoleum filled with listless zombies.

I never felt unworthy to be there; it just felt like a waste of time.

Going inactive could be the highest form of disrespect.
Imagine you husband or wife would not even argue with you, would not explain anything not telling you a single word. Just get up from the chair, close the door behind him or her and leave without a single word. Would you not agree that this is the highest form of disrespect that anyone could show?
Why bother to ask to be erased from a list that you have absolutely no control if they really do so? Is a peace a paper really this important and why? Going even to a church trail where old man are not even interested in your story but very interested to insult and belittle you. Sometimes I wonder what they expect if they gonna tell them ….. Are you expecting a check that gives you your money back or a pay for all the time you spend to keep a cult running and scamming others out of Millions of dollars - dream on.
Well – since everyone have to cope in his/her own way leaving the cult.
But to assume that people that just going inactive without a word has something to do with feeling unworthy is ridiculous. Going inactive is the highest form of disrespect.
Opinion off.

Oh yes, we definitely feel embarrassed to be at church among the great ones. Especially when you're expected to play Albert and the Lion and Mr and Mrs Finkenheimer at the ward Christmas social year after year after year.

At least the game of Mormon Wives seems to have fallen out of favour at last where I live. Yikes!

So I don't go because they are "unworthy?" I would buy that one. For me I have too little of life left to waste it on a wasteland.