Told her it was borderline stalkerish. She took it quite well. Just kidding, she blew up, and said she never calls me without a reason, and she wasn't phone stalking me, because she doesn't want anything to do with me. She then texted me over a dozen times over the next few hours, informing me that I was a piece of s--t, or how horrible of a person I was, and that she can contact me anytime she wants. I am not making any of this up.

Move to another country. She scares me.

This is the same woman who called me at three in the morning last year, because she couldn't figure out how to turn her stove off in her new apartment. I'm not that worried about her putting together a murder plot. Besides, I have the ability to take care of myself.

What I am really hoping for her to do, is to be the first one to move out of county. Then I get primary custody of my son, and I can go anywhere I want. She's expressed a strong desire to move, and seek job opportunities/schooling elsewhere, but so far has not, because I refuse to amend our custody agreement so she can do so. I want primary custody, because I think she is a toxic person, and my son hates every minute of being at her house. So far, I don't have a strong enough case for getting it.

She sounds a lot like my psycho (and thankfully, late) Mormon MIL.

My first husband (we divorced in 2000) wants to be my friend on Facebook. Nope, nope and .... Nope. I don't want him to feel tempted to pry into my photos and comments and re-obsess or become preoccupied again with me in any way.

snuckafoodberry Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My first husband (we divorced in 2000) wants to be
> my friend on Facebook. Nope, nope and .... Nope. I
> don't want him to feel tempted to pry into my
> photos and comments and re-obsess or become
> preoccupied again with me in any way.


The first thing I did when I joined Facebook was to block my ex-husband so he wouldn't even know I was on and send me a friend request. I'm just glad I didn't have a kid with the crazy ex, as I was able to completely cut off all contact with him once I filed for divorce. If an ex is sending friend requests and refuses to take the hint when they're not accepted, then it's time to block.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/13/2013 03:38PM by adoylelb.

Keep a record of her behavior, just in case you ever need to have her committed against her will.

I believe you. I have a relative who has treated her adult daughter in a similar way. Sounds like she may have NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), maybe some sociopathic traits as well.

Absolutely DO NOT believe what she says about you. She enjoys being cruel. She probably lies as well. Also, do not engage her. I know it's hard because you have a child together. Perhaps don't answer her calls, just have her leave messages. And those rotten texts, don't internalize what she says. She wants you to feel bad.

Sorry you have to deal with such a person. Hopefully you can normalize things for your child (son I think?) when he's with you.

TG

TG

I believe you.
I knew a Mormon woman who divorced her ne'er do that well husband after the last child graduated from High School.
He moved out, got his own place and settled in to single life.

A new lady moved in next door, slim, 40ish, with two school children. They hit it off and married two years after his divorce. His EX wife would call him after he was re married at 6AM "Come rub my back, it's out again" or "come change the element in the water heater" or etc.

It infuriated the second wife because he'd go take care of her. SHE had kicked him out, she had NO reason to be expecting him to still be at her whimiscal beck and call. She eventually moved and his new marriage stabalized.


I knew of another LDS couple. He moved out and filed for divorce after 12 years of marriage leaving his wife with three children. He would come take the kids for the day and when he dropped them off he saw that his exwife would be serving up dinner for herself and the kids. He'd join his "family" for dinner and converse about how much fun he was having with his new independance, his own apartment and all the young ladies he was dating. He told his soon to be ex wife she was NOT to tell the ward they were getting a divorce.
It was very confusing for her. She'd been a devoted Molly Mormon wife and he was still playing house with her. She ended that fiasco before long. Even though he'd divorced her and didn't want her anymore he still seemd to think he was head of her household and was in a position to boss her around.



I had an obnoxious caller that I put DON'T ANS as his name on my phone so I wouldn't respond to him.

I don't know what to do about texts. I had someone doing that to me at work and had to turn off my phone during work hours. It meant my kids couldn't reach me in case of emergency unless I called them.

You do have someone who needs to move on. She sounds like someone who can't stand being told no. Maybe she thinks "no" doesn't apply to her, or things can only be on her terms.....a tyrant.

Well, don't respond to the tyrant. Give them silence. Let her text you for a week and then respond with I didn't think it was important since you divorced me.....etc.

The radio silence will really drive her nuts. One of the best tools you can use against this kind of bully is their own childishness. Ignore her and only talk briefly on weekends. Set the timer for ten minutes then end the conversation.

I appreciate your comments, but she isn't Mormon, she's Russian. Most Russian girls are sweet nice women, but the crazy ones have more meanness in them then a bi-polar bear that is off his medications.

I have only had a few women scientists who were born and educated in Russia work for me. I got along with them very well ( I think being the boss helped in this regard) and still have a good friendly relationship with them years afterward, but to coworkers who crossed them. Wow, they can be extremely vicious; something learned in the culture that I did not understand.

I get it. I have a German born neighbor who has an attitude that she can do what ever she wants. Her sisters said she has punched people in the face because "they deserved it".

She is crazy. She used to be a 'friend' to a neighbor but when the neighbor inisted that she play her own bingo chips at the bingo game that she paid for the German lady got angry.
When the neighbor's Dentist said she had to stay in his waiting room for observation for half an hour the German yelled at him and told her NO the neighbor did NOT have a heart condition and she could go home right now! Then she left the office leaving the neighbor behind. The neighbor had to have emergency treatment later at a clinic due to her heart condition and the stress the German put on her. The clinic and the Dentist turned the German lady in for elder abuse.

Later the German lady ran over the neighbor with a car while she was walking her dog. Lots of drama. When the DA put a restraining order on her she yelled at the cop who served it.


I am of German descent. None of our family behaved that way. We had strong opinions and bias, but we did not think it was okay to hit and bully others....

But if you have a bad apple...well, watch yourself....she is crazy.

Document her stalking behavior. Keep a daily journal. copy over her texts into it. It will stand up in court if it comes to that. Hopefully she's not a big flight risk for abducting your children back to the USSR????

I believe you too. My husband's ex was like that.

Well, FCD, I'm afraid you've made a much bigger mistake than "don't stick your dick in the crazy" (which you obviously did). You also made a kid with the crazy. I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say how glad I am that you have your kid half the time and he has at least you as a stable presence in his life, and as a positive role model. This is a good thing.

But it also means you cannot cut off all contact and invoke the Cone of Silence, which is what I'd normally recommend with a cray cray ex. Your only hope is she finds herself a new husband. How's that going? Should we work up an OK Cupid profile for her, get her set up with a nice rich fella who can distract her from rattling your cage all the time?

Good Lord. Why would you want to inflict this woman on another innocent man? I'm with the poster that advised to document, document, document her behavior. You're going to need it for the police restraining order. I had to get one, and I cannot emphasize enough that documentation is key. If the restraining order is successful, and your son is able to testify on his own behalf at a later date, perhaps you could win sole custody, which sounds better for the both of you.

Dealing with crazy exes is hell.

Every lock has a key...

She's dating a Russian guy who is supposedly a medical engineer. She started dating him shortly after school started. However, I was talking to a cute Russian girl, whose son is in my class, and who knows my ex, and I ask her what her husband does. He is a Russian medical engineer, who works at the same hospital as my ex-wife. It's a really big coincidence. I stopped short of asking the cute Russian girl what her husband's name was, afraid it would match, but this was after I told her my ex was also dating a medical engineer. You could see the wondering look in the other poor girl's eyes, but I will let her decide what to do about what info she has.

I did think about hooking my ex with someone who deserves her, but I don't want that kind of person around my son.

My husbands ex was a crazy like that. She called constantly. This was before caller id and cell phones. If we'd had cell phones I would have gotten another one she didn't know the number to. She could have called and texted away to that phone in the drawer.


As it is, she developed a drinking problem. Her 9 year old son called us from the bar where he was doing his homework. My husband went and got him. She handed him over just like that. End of crazy.

I believe that kids an choose which parent they want to live with when they turn 11. I know you have a ways to go. Sometimes the crazy ones get so crazy they hang themselves.

She broke down the other day, because she knows he is going to chose to be with me when he gets older, and she already knows about the rule for older kids. I'm not sure what it is in Florida, need to look it up, but still have a few years. Part of her crazy was she was mad at me, because she thinks I am spoiling him, so he will pick me as the favorite. I'm too broke to spoil him. However, I do let him play with his neighbor friends, and I do take him on play dates. Mostly this is because I love him, but it doesn't hurt that most of these kids have good looking single moms.

Save the texts!

What kind of sane person takes the response of being told they call and text too much, by sending even more crazy texts.

OMG: My TBM ex-husband texted me 14 times the other night beginning at 3:55 a.m.

Psycho is psycho! I ignore all of the "I am praying for you....you need to return to church." There are sprinkles of, "look at the great harm you are doing to our children."

So far, I just ignore it and it stops for a while.

I feel for you! I am on your team!!!!

If she completely freaks out and pulls sneaky, vicious crap when you start dating another woman. If she's as bad as you say, watch out for false accusations of child abuse against you and/or your future girlfriend.

Oh, we have already gone down that road. I was cleared, then they started investigating her, which terrified her.

Tell her you're keeping every single text she sends you. Tell her its for future reference when you file stalking charges. That might slow it down a bit.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/13/2013 11:56PM by madalice.

Can you set an auto-reply for her noxious texting?

I'll bet you can get an app for that.

Have it say, "Thank you for yet another example of you textstalking me. Please do not call me. Please email me regarding visitation arrangements."

Best of luck

Anagrammy

I told my EXh the only time he should even think of actually talking to me is if its something that really can't be said through a text. We do not even say hi to eachother when the kids are exchanged.

Its a step in the right direction.

I told my husbands ex wife to not call me unless someone was dead, dying, or in serious trouble. That someone was NOT her. This was before cell phones.

She kept calling the ex, but stopped trying to put me in the middle. I had no reason to talk to her unless there was an emergency with my husbands child.

will be if she don't get her way.

You will make yourself available and you will make every contact your top priority or you are a POS and she will let you know how irresposible you are, how much you don't care and how much you don't understand about how improtant her needs are.

Good luck with your new mission of setting boundaries and enforcing them.

This is my ex-husband. Completely. His texting (up to 30 a day on my work cell), emails (93 in one month)telling me what to do and I was a bad person for not listening to him, breaking into my house (he said because he paid child support he could go into any house where his children lived that he paid for), and more gave me enough to get a protection order. He violated it a few weeks ago and was arrested. Not only is he claiming it's my fault I had him arrested for it (why am I so petty?), but now he is harassing my attorney, claiming there is no violation of the protection order if I talk to him directly about our court cases and sending multiple emails to her. Oh, and he's made the false CPS reports and is demanding custody because I'm supposedly mentally ill. Sigh.

I got Google Voice--it's 100% free, you can forward the calls (or not) to your cell or any phone you want, and it keeps a digital copy of all voice messages that you can download--great for making copies for the police or your attorney or emailing them or whatever. You can also send/receive texts. It's been invaluable for dealing with my ex. He thinks he's calling/texting my cell phone, and I can check the calls once a day when I'm ready to.

I also sent my ex a certified letter before I got the protection order stating I only answer emails on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. I put limits on when I talked about the kids. I do not give him the idea that he controls my life. He is free to email any time, but he knows I only read on Tuesdays and Wednesdays...and, before the protection order, I only skimmed and answered only what was essential and stopped answering his accusations. I let him eat my silence.

I only communicate about visitation stuff. Anything else even before the protection order I ignored. I don't talk to him--everything is done in writing. Because of the protection order he can't get out of his car when he picks up/drops off the kids.

All of this is driving him crazy, and he tries to escalate things (i.e. harassing my attorney), but it feels great to set the boundaries and live life a bit more quietly.

I know how hard it is to deal with an ex like this. Wish I had something more productive to offer other than I fee for you, and I get it, and do what you need to do to protect you and your kid.

Have you cansidered getting a protection order? They're not just for physical violence--mine is for stalking and harassing--it's a stay-away/no contact order. Might give you some peace, and, if she violates it, gives you more evidence as to her character for future court issues.