Were you ever taught in the Mormon church that you were to set a good example? That there were people watching you who would decide to choose or not choose to hear the missionaries based on your actions? Were you told that it was important to be happy and to avoid the appearance of evil because people might reject the gospel because of you and that would bring eternal regrets?

So why do Mormons do a 180 when the victim of the good example is already a Mormon instead of a non-Mormon that might join? THEN, if you catch a TBM behaving badly, you can't judge the church by the people. Then, if you choose to stay away from the church because the members of your ward are horrible, it's your fault for being easily offended. If you reject the gospel as a Mormon, the TBMs will feel no eternal regrets as they hasten to cast you out of their midst, unworthy apostate that you are. If you are Mormon, you'd better bend over and take whatever they dish out because if you don't, it's all your fault. As much as they care about being good so someone might join, they don't feel bad at all if their example drives someone out of the church.

Shame. All that effort to set a good example but they can't keep up the charade amongst themselves. They don't worry about being good for other members. They are all about recruiting tithe-payers. If you are already one, then there is no point in pretending their image and their character are one in the same.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 10/30/2013 12:42AM by CA girl.

I remember this! Was a big thing in the 70s.

Missionary work by example.

Just because you can't see them doesn't mean they are not watching you.

The younger kids are always watching you and will follow your example whether good or bad.

People might not join the church if you do not follow your religion.

Or my fear....someone might see you do the wrong thing and call your mother!

crazy making cult.
I wish the internet would have been around when I was a teenager.
Those were the years I was in peoples homes, knew their kids, saw the crazy in person.

I always thought they were isolated incidents. Thanks to rfm, I now know that crazy is the norm when dealing with mormonism.

I've spent the majority of my life in a cult I was born into. It's sometimes hard to believe that I am lucky enough to find out that it's a cult, and what its agenda is. Like my parents, I could have went my whole life not knowing. Staying in out of fear.

You are right.

Never--even with all the shunning and gossip when we resigned--never were we treated so badly as when we were good, active Mormons. I've gone over the details of the abuse before, so I won't repeat it, except to say that the adult priesthood leaders physically punished my sons for being late. They were kind, happy, well-behaved kids, and were merely tired from their paper route, and didn't take church seriously enough. The committed no crimes, no rebellions. Physical punishment by a teacher or leader is a crime. My children were afraid to tell me of this.

I havent' encountered a nastier group of people (as a group) as our Utah ward. Even the junior high and high school cliques and gossip-fests were no match for the adult Mormons here.

I will gladly take the shunning, though it did sting a bit to lose all my Mormon friends, after years of bringing them dinners, letting their kids play at our house, playing the piano at their parties, etc. The Mormons can't hurt us now, because they are not in our lives.

Other good examples of the two-faced friendships are the Mormon neighbors who rushed to convert my best friend. They made a big fuss over her and her husband, drove them to church, gave them the best callings, catered to their children. As soon as they were officially baptized and sealed in the temple--bam--it all stopped cold. My friends were CONVERTS, you see, and not as worthy as the BIC Mormons. Also, both had been married before, and the children had different fathers. Fortunately, my friends found out about the doctrinal lies, and that rudeness was standard Mormon behavior, and they left the cult, taking their children with them.

I remember hearing be a good example so people will want to join the church because of their admiration for your high morals.

Always be positive so people will want to know more about why you are so happy (because of the gospel, of course) and want to join the church.

Avoid the appearance of evil, which led some Mormons to develop those annoying behaviors of dramatically turning their coffee cups upside down in a restaurant and turning down offers for coffee or alcohol with the explanation that they're Mormons and don't drink those addictive beverages. People will admire you and want to know more about the church because of your stellar standards.

My guess is that most not-Mormon people keep their opinions to themselves about how weird (and often self-righteous) some of these behaviors appear and that silence is interpreted by some Mormons as, "Gee, they sure think we're awesome!"

The double standard you pointed out is another one of your excellent observations, CA girl.

Because the word integrity is never discussed in Sunday School, SM, or anywhere. I didn't even learn what that means until well into adulthood. Nobody ever told me that it was important to be true to yourself and what you stand for.

When you don't give a flip about integrity, (I don't think we teach that.), then hypocrisy is easy to swallow and justify.

Also, the example setting is bullshit. No one that I ever knew ever wanted to check out the church because I set an example of self-righteous judgementalism. Mormons think that appearing righteous = acting holier than thou. They really have no idea what Christ's love was supposed to be all about, so it's all appearances. And don't dare question once you get past the superficial and realize there's no there there. Because you will shatter the illusion and the whole house of cards will crumble.

I really think they are full of crap, worrying so much about setting an example for the "lesser" non-LDS but thinking the other Mormons can be treated any way TBMs want and they aren't allowed to blame the TBM for it.