RfM is a very busy forum. There are other US-based exmo-forums that are very busy as well. Apparently, the need for recovery from Mormonism is high, as is the desire to talk about it.

Strangely though, my own Dutch exmo forum is as dead as a doornail, even though there must be around six thousand Dutch exmos and/or inactives.

I see the same thing in exmo forums of other countries, e.g. Germany. Low activity by only a handful of posters.

I wonder why that is. Is there a fundamental difference in the way US and non-US exmos recover? Could it be that the turnover on RfM is so high that one doesn't notice it's a different crowd every six months (with a few oldtimers attached)?

What do you think?

An "inactive" is very different than an "exmo". Inactives haven't discovered the truth...many might still feel guilt for not attending church. It's very different than the exmo that learns the truth and then changes their entire way of thinking.

While 75% of baptized members in South America aren't active, I would say that a very very small percentage know anything about the church's history, etc...

But does that mean that inactive Mormons don't need recovery? Why aren't there message boards for inactive Mormons - or are there?

Since most of Europe have embraced atheism, or perhaps better termed "non-religious," it is an embarrassment to have joined a cult which is gaining more and more notoriety and criticism by the day.

Everything to gain and nothing to lose, whereas here in America, people stand up every day and say, "My name is XXX and I'm an alcoholic/addict/former prostitute/former inmate, etc. and it adds value to their point of view.

I think it's cultural.


Anagrammy

I just want to say that I read your post on Mormonsim and mental health on another thread, and it was brilliant. You clearly showed how Mormonism itself closely resembles, and perhaps even mirrors, mental illness. Your parallelism was spot on. Kudos.

The heavy-duty TBMs who gave their all to the church for decades and then discover it is a fraud tend to need a lot of assistance with recovery. On the other hand, someone who never really bought into the Church in the first place finds it much easier to leave without needing assistance to recover.

I was in the latter situation. I was BIC, became an atheist at age 14, went completely inactive at age 17. When I quit I soon found a group of compatible nevermo friends. Within a few weeks my mind was happy and free, as if the church never existed.

I have to wonder if, in other countries, religion just isn't as big a deal as it is in the US. So, the LDS church doesn't quite carry the same cultish weight in many other cultures.

In Korea, religion wasn't that big a deal. It was hard as a missionary in Korea to get anyone to really be interested in it. They just didn't, as a general culture, care about religion. When members fell away, they didn't really do anything about it, except for the missionaries. The heavier cult behaviors didn't seem to catch on, like home teaching or visiting teaching (assigned friends). So many of the LDS's means for control are really based in American culture and many don't adapt well.

Also keep in mind, the LDS church is Amero-centric, it's all about how great the US is. We live in the promised land and we're blessed to do so! Yay America! and all that... That really struck me while I was in Korea, that Mormonism didn't have a lot to offer non-americans... Joseph Smith didn't really plan for that...

For me it isn't about recovery. It's about finding a place where I can talk to people I can relate to. I don't feel like Mormonism harmed me, so I don't need to recover. But it's nice to talk to people who have a similar background and similar views. Lord knows I can't bitch about the church with my TBM family.

Mormonism had my family tied up in cycles of abuse and ignorance for many generations. My scientific cosmology was considered an act of extreme betrayal, and I was punished accordingly. I don't think you'll find very many Europeans with that much negative inertia in their family histories.

30+ years ago maybe my first "revelation" about tscc was finding out it isn't strong in Western Europe, and there wasn't a lot of interest either, contrary to the PR. Six thousand exmos in Holland surprises me as I would have guessed that as about the total membership, but you're in a position to know what the numbers are.

10-20 years ago and unrelated to tscc, I noticed was a resurgence of the traditional European churches, Catholic and Protestant, something I attribute largely to John Paul II. Because mormonism is such a minority and virtually no one traces ancestry to JS, BY, "pioneers" or other "mormon royalty", shunning, employment endangerment and rabid TBM families don't exist as they do in the States. Add the relaxed attitude toward religion in Europe in general, I think it must be much easier to transition from inactive to ex. Generalities again, but families weren't alienated from one another, colleagues could not care less. Less "mormon identity" so they either slip back into "the faith of the fathers" or become agnostic or atheist. Ward members don't stalk inactives or "love bomb" them. Of course they continue to be counted among the 13 millions absurdity.

These are just my suppositions though and I'm very interested in why you think it's so much more difficult for American mormons.

Maybe cultural? My great grandparents left Denmark for America and didn't leave much of a trail to other relatives when trying to search out genealogy. They just moved on and Americanized their last names.
Maybe they don't latch on to things as tightly. They found out when it is bull pucky and don't see a reason to entertain it much further.
Just a wild guess.
On the English and Irish sides I can trace that back to the 1500's.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 10/14/2013 08:49PM by snuckafoodberry.

Unless I misunderstood the backstory of the Swedish Rescue, didn't the Swedish saints who were doubting get together *in-person* and talk about it?

In my experience in the United States, people with doubts openly talking about those doubts with Mormon family, friends, or neighbors would have found that a huge risk and it was unlikely to happen. Maybe that's changing now and people are more comfortable openly expressing their doubts to each other in-person, but it would surprise me.

The Internet allowed anonymity and with that came safety to express one's true thoughts, feelings, and doubts without the risk of someone you thought was a trusted confidant reporting you to the bishop for apostasy or speaking ill of the Lord's anointed or, "out of concern" informing family members of the conversation.

Some American Mormons are huge tattletales. Read Babycenter-LDS to see frequent stories of running to the bishop to tattle on a spouse or neighbor. You can also witness the glee that some of the women who consider themselves to be the most righteous experience when berating their "sisters" in the gospel back into line when they dare have an opinion that differs from the prophet. And it's not just the women. Mormon men can be champion tattletales and gossips.

The generation in their 20's is more outspoken about their beliefs that don't sync with the prophet, especially regarding marriage equality and women's rights.

As a generalization, Europeans seem to be less uptight and more open about a lot of things that still give some Americans--especially uber-religious ones--the vapors.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/14/2013 09:35PM by Surrender Dorothy.