Yup that was me!

Bishop had me to his office and informed me that after much prayer and thought the lord has called me to serve as teacher's quorum president. What an honor it was!

Bishop instructed me to go home to pray, fast and ask for guidence on selecting my counselors. Obviously my best bud John was in line for first counselor but I need to throw the bishy and parents off a little. I didn't want them to think I was just choosing my friends.

So I choose the biggest tbm of the bunch. You know the kid quad scriptures in hand with his name engraved on them, quiet, slacks that appeared to be a size to small so it looked as tho he was wearing floods. He actually was a really cool dude.I think it was more his parents doing than his (they were bat shit crazy tbm's)

Did anybody else employ this strategy while picking counselers when a teenager or did you just not care and pick your besties?

I was never in your position, but I want to encourage you to spread truths about Joseph Smith and his 34 wives including 14 year olds and women married to other men. Throw in questions about why were Blacks less valiant in the pre-existence. Just create as many doubts as you can while you're in that position. You'll probably get released, but why not do some missionary work before you are?

We just went by age. Oldest was president, next oldest first councillor etc.

Aren't all priesthood members habitual masterbaters? Whatever the calling.

I see your point as a requirement to hold the priesthood is to have a penis

That was me too. I'd like to know who WASN'T in that situation.

Man it was tough, participating in the sacred ordinances of the holy priesthood every sunday, but in the back of my mind knowing I was unworthy and condemning myself to hell ...

Habitual masturbater, yes (weren't we all back then?)....never aspired to hold office...or a calling or WTF it's called....but I was a troop leader in scouts even though I failed knots...twice...

Ron Burr

Another reason you should refrain from the sin of masterbation....... ruins your ability to successfully tie knots!

My bishop was right!

Good one...and you may be correct...oh, well...LOL

Ron Burr

Woah.... are you me!?!? Basically this exact same thing happened to me... Definitely picked the super tbm kid with the psycho parents too. Interestingly though, that guy is now one of my absolute best friends. (and no longer Mormon)

This is my story as well. Working O.T at the little factory. Yet they still called me to be teachers quorum pres.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/12/2013 11:32AM by darkshadow.

Someone needs to email Tom Monson and see if he is stupid enough to admit to masturbating.

That Fuckhole.

Lush Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> Bishop instructed me to go home to pray, fast and
> ask for guidence on selecting my counselors.

This is the beginning of the brainwashing.

You are supposed to fast and pray and then look inward and any
ideas you get that don't involve locking yourself in the
bathroom and masturbating are supposed to come from God. Now
EVERYONE gets ideas. It happens all the time, but Mormons
have learned to convince people that those idea MUST have come
from God. They experience Priesthood Power in action--they
got an idea!

When you think your entire consciousness is tied to the Church
it's almost impossible to disengage. Often posters say that
Monson has to KNOW he's not a prophet since he doesn't get
revelations. Hell, he's been getting "revelations" since he
was a deacon. Mormons are trained to consider any positive
feeling or idea they get that is attached to the Church as
"personal revelation." That is, I'm convinced, what people
mean when they answer a salvo of factual problems about the
Mormon claims with, "but I've had too many experiences."

Let's see this process in action. I had a problem with a
theorem in linear algebra. I thought about it and slept on
it. The next morning the answer came to me in a flash while I
was shaving. This is common. It's how the human brain
works. Now let's hear how Gordon B. Hinckley got "revelation:"


“Q: And this belief in contemporary revelation and prophecy?
As the prophet, tell us how that works. How do you receive
divine revelation? What does it feel like?

"A: [Gordon B. Hinckley] Let me say first that we have a great
body of revelation, the vast majority of which came from the
prophet Joseph Smith. We don’t need much revelation. We need
to pay more attention to the revelation we’ve already
received. Now, if a problem should arise on which we don’t
have an answer, we pray about it, we may fast about it, and it
comes. Quietly. Usually no voice of any kind, but just a
perception in the mind. I liken it to Elijah’s experience.
When he sought the Lord, there was a great wind, and the Lord
was not in the wind. And there was an earthquake, and the Lord
was not in the earthquake. And a fire, and the Lord was not in
the fire. But in a still, small voice. Now that’s the way it
works.”

-"Prophet" Gordon B. Hinckley, San Francisco Chronicle, Sunday
Interview, April 13, 1997, by Don Lattin


“DR: But more than that, because you’re leader of the Church.
Do you have a special connection?

Gordon B. Hinckley: I have a special relationship in terms of
the Church as an institution. Yes.

DR: And you receive...

Gordon B. Hinckley: For the entire Church

DR: You receive?

Gordon B. Hinckley: Now we don’t need a lot of continuing
revelation. We have a great, basic reservoir of revelation.
But if a problem arises, as it does occasionally, a vexatious
thing with which we have to deal, we go to the Lord in prayer.
We discuss it as a First Presidency and as a Council of the
Twelve Apostles. We pray about it and then comes the
whisperings of a still small voice. And we know the direction
we should take and we proceed accordingly.

DR: And this is a revelation?

Gordon B. Hinckley: This is a revelation.

DR: How often have you received such revelations?

Gordon B. Hinckly: Oh, I don’t know. I feel satisfied that in
some circumstances we’ve had such revelation. It’s a very
sacred thing that we don’t like to talk about a lot. A very
sacred thing.”

- Compass Interview with Gordon B. Hinckley, aired Nov. 9, 1997


Yep, they just get ideas the same way everyone else does.
Think about the problem, discuss it with others, let it
marinate in your subconscious for a while. But they have
been conditioned to believe this comes to them from God.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/12/2013 04:58AM by baura.

Yup, sounds exactly like me. Picked my best bud and the most TBM one of the group to be my counselors too. After only organizing sports and other fun events (rather than boring activities with a "priesthood purpose") they released me and the 2 others in exchange for the younger kids who were in the quorum. Me and the most TBM one both have left the church.

Since there were only 3 of us, it was mostly a matter of which one to choose as first counselor, and which one as second. In deacon's quorum I chose my non-friend as first counselor to throw off the bishop. In teacher's quorum I switched and chose my friend as first counselor, again to throw them off. It was always weird when these decisions were officially announced in sacrament meeting, and the girls in young women's weren't.

I was called the be deacons quorum pres at age 13. Bishop told me to come to church next Sunday with 2 names for counselors. I gave him the names of my 2 best buds. The bishop told me to try again and give him 2 other names after sac mtg.

Oh, this principle works well in higher offices as well. When I was made EQP even after confessing about the big M to my stake president (what, that didn't get me off the hook?!!?), I went back and picked a) my roommate Todd; and b) the most annoyingly TBM suck-up in the whole ward, who also happened to be named Todd.

And then I un-assigned myself as a home teacher LOL.

Then I went to Europe for 6 months and escaped the whole thing.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/12/2013 06:30PM by Inverso.

Whoa, boys -- I sure hope you habitual masturbators washed your hands before breaking the magical white Wonder Bread and passing it around to the rest of us !

I was excluded because I was the only one who ADMITTED to Bish that I like naked ladies. Never served as anything.

Not only was I a Habitual masturbater....I was also getting a weekly hummer from one of the young women at mutual....After all ....Oral is Moral...

I serve in the young men's. Good group of kids, but you can't tell ninety percent of them aren't shucking their corn .

Not only was I a habitual msturbator, half of the quorum was doing each other!

:-o

You just proved SWK is a true prophet! From Miracle of Forgiveness, masturbation leads to mutual masturbation, which leads to homosexuality which leads to beastiality. Now how many of you are homo's? And how many of you currently are getting it on with the sheep in your fields?

I can assure you, I haven't been called to anything!