I have been holding off participating until the software for this board was improved. Thanks for updating it. I love not having the frills and extra 'junk' you find on most forums. Also, something about the community that participates on this board is welcoming.

My wife and I left the church officially two years ago, along with our children. I am 'out' to my family and all my neighbors. However, I am scared to death that someone will inform a senior managers at work, who is LDS, of my status. He isn't my direct manager, but has a lot of sway over my job.

Occasionally I get the special intra-faith *wink wink, nudge nudge* look/phrase indicating I am considered 'special' because he thinks I am LDS. You know, that look that says something like: "I know I may be breaking the law, but Heavenly Father understands because we are priesthood brethren." Also, the occasional reference to a working group as a 'quorum' and jokes about how I should do something then 'return and report.' These things, and many other "Mormon insider" comments make it obvious to me what is going on.

I genuinely fear that if he found out I have left, he would either consciously or unconsciously treat me differently when it comes time to select promotions, or hand out bonuses. I hope this fear is totally irrational, but I simply can't help being afraid.

I'm not really expecting anyone to respond. I just don't have a place where I can 'vent' and let out some of my frustrations. I feel I am treated differently when I tell believers I am ex-mormon. The reactions vary from a 'big deal' kind of response to a 'you're an apostate, stay away from me, it is probably contagious' reaction. At least, that is how I perceive it.

Much of what happens in Mormonism seems to happen between the lines. The body language, tone of voice, even a single word can 'remind' others you're part of the inner circle. Like when someone starts talking in that ultra-sing-songy 'general conference' tone of voice. You know what they are saying has a religious spin. Even though they might be talking about something seemingly unrelated, you know what is up. It is a auditory clue to those in the room that are LDS, sort of a call to arms. "You better be on my side, because Heavenly Father is."

And I know what you mean about the "with us or against us" mentality. Even among people you have known for years and your own family. And I see no reason to let the guy at work know your status. It's none of his business :)

I understand. That is how I perceive it also, "stay away from me, it is ... contagious".

There are mormons that will shun, there are mormons that will be friendly but won't ever be your friend, there are those that will stand far back or avoid you because they may "catch" something. There's so much fear introduced in mormon teachings about those who leave.

who to avoid. It really is a very sad and sick cult. The more or longer I am away from it the more I see how damaging the whole twisted exercise of moism really is. I also would to thank the RFM staff for all their work and this new board. Thanks!!!!