...who are just as screwed up as any active TBM (or even more so).

It's so toxic, & I've decided to split myself off from them even more than I already have. They are sick & deluded, mentally abusive, & frankly, stupid.

so what was the specific behavior?

I know what you mean generally though - with TBMs at least you know what you're going to get but with the jackmos it's so hard to reconcile their behavior with their 'beliefs'

when I first moved back here I was talking to jackmo brother and sil and kind of venting about some things about my TBM ex and her family and sil harshly interrupted me to tell me that I couldn't talk negatively about 'the church' in their house

brother and I are holding beers and sil is holding wine while saying this

I really don't get them at all - the best I can come up with is that even though they don't believe in Joseph Smith or the Book of Mormon what they do still believe in is the idea that TSCC is the best way to raise kids and so they do their best to raise their kids Mormon

in spite of the fact that being raised Mormon wasn't so great of an experience for either of them

anyway, that's all I have for you - with my jackmo family I just think of it like they believe in the 'idea' of the church rather than actually believing in the church

I'm sorry, I was so angry earlier I could barely type.

My inactive dad & my jackmo brother were being their dismissive, judgmental, bigoted, mentally abusive, misogynistic selves last night & all of today.

My brother disgusted me so much, & between his behavior, & his jackmo wife's sickening faux-modesty of putting their kid in a t-shirt & practically pants they were so long with her sundress - this really is the last straw for me. This has been building for a very long time. These things are small in comparison to their hypocrisy.

I still want my brother to be exed (even though TSCC is all fake & has no authority whatsoever), just so he will be shamed & humiliated. He was living together with his now wife for about 5 years before they got married last year, & had 1 of their kids out of wedlock too. Frankly I don't care about who's living with who & if kids are born out of wedlock or not. Except he already had 2 kids he wasn't taking care of whatsoever, & hasn't worked regularly in years in order to get out of paying child support for them.

& what makes me even more angry is that my TBM mom acts like this relationship is more legit than his first marriage, & acts like his legitimate kids are illegitimate & like his first wife is some evil harpy, when she's a solid rule keeping TBM who he mentally abused for all their 6 years together (1 year of dating, 5 years of marriage). My mom blames her for the brake up of the marriage as if the ex wife's reasons are petty, stupid, & without merit.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/27/2013 11:07PM by Tristan.

Edit - sorry wrong place



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/29/2013 12:15AM by Tristan.

Sorry my set up is screwing up for me tonight. Real post is below at the bottom of the thread.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/29/2013 12:17AM by Tristan.

I never want to see or talk to my brother & his wife ever again. So that's what I'm going to do. I told my mom, & she said it was OK.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/28/2013 05:00AM by Tristan.

Oh hey, looks like we have some things in common! I have some TBM family that treat ALL their non-blood in-law children like Second-rate human beings . And they ackledge it too, but the statement I got to hear was "Oh, but that's Okay." (WTF - really? ... I don't think sooo...!) I really can't stand that they think it's Okay to screw around with me, my life, my kids, my love life--- all because they think THEIR way of living is better! There's a reason I NEVER ask them for advice, I don't want IT! I never ask them for advice of a personal nature. rant...rant...rant...

Yeah I have quite a few jackmos in my family and I don't really feel any more comfortable coming out to them then I do my TBMs.

When I realized/accepted that other people's actions and beliefs were their own, and had no impact on me (unless I wanted it to) I realized freedom. Trying to control other people's actions and beliefs only brought misery for me...it was futile.

That doesn't mean I simply accept others' hypocrisy. That doesn't mean I pretend there isn't a disconnect. But I don't allow it to ruin my day, my mood or my success.

In mormonism, there was this idea that I was responsible for everyone else and keeping others in line. Often members tattle on one another to the bishop. It's a means of control. I reject that model. It took a lot of work to recognize that how other people responded to the mind f*ck of mormonism (sometimes by lying and deceiving) was none of my business.

Was I negatively impacted for telling the truth? Yes. Were others negatively impacted bc I acted with integrity (like my parents)? yup. But in the end, I know I did what was right for me, and acted with integrity. If others want to remain in such a screwed up system, that's on their conscience.

I can barely function or think tonight. Everything is so screwed up.

These damn people, my so-called "family", are more fucked up than I ever imagined. I know I'm screwed up, & I take responsibility for that, but they are more screwed up, & act like nothing is wrong.

My so-called "dad" - what a fucked up, narcissistic, misogynistic fucked up loser with a fucked up sense of "morality". He has a madonna/whore complex that is so extreme & misogynistic. His views on sexuality are sick & twisted, especially when it comes to women's sexuality. One minute he makes sick sex jokes about things, the next he hopes that there's something erotic & sexual in a movie, then the next minute he says that showing anything sexual is completely unnessary & even wrong. I'm pretty liberated, & joking about sex can be funny, but the things he says are deeply offensive, & make me uncomfortable. When he's being serious he still makes sexual comments about women, & women's bodies & sexuality, that are deeply offensive - mainly saying things that women are whores & such, or that they only say they like sex just to get a man. This is the tamest of his criticisms. He even says this stuff around my TBM mom. But I'm the one whose heard the brunt of it since I was at least 17. I try so hard to just walk away from this, but he'll even do it on the middle of a movie or at dinner. It makes me feel sick & uncomfortable. & then my younger Jackmo brother said that our so-called "parent" was looking at gay porn. The details of this conversation I can't get into. I don't think the so-called "parent" is gay. I don't know what's really going on. All I see personally is a bunch of sick, hypocritical bullshit.