In the midst of this war of words, and tumult of opinions, I often said to myself, 'What the f*ck is to be done? Who of all these parties are right? or, are they all wrong together? If any one of them be right, which is it? and how shall I know it?' While I was laboring under the extreme difficulties caused by the contests of these parties of religionists, I was one day reading Calvin & Hobbes, which reads, 'If any of you lack wisdom, get off your but and search the internet, that giveth unto all men liberally, and upbraideth not, and it shall be given unto him.' Never did any passage of comics come with more power to the heart of man than this did at this time to mine. It seemed to enter with great force into every feeling of my heart. I reflected on it again and again, knowing that if any person needed wisdom from Calvin, I did, for how to act I did not know, and unless I could get more wisdom than I then had, would never know; for the teachers of religion of the different sects understood the same passage so differently, as to destroy all confidence in settling the question by an appeal to the Bible.

At length I came to the conclusion that I must either remain in darkness and confusion, or else I must do as Calvin directed, that is, search the internet. I at length came to the determination to look on the internet, concluding that if it gave wisdom to them that lacked wisdom, and would give liberally, and not upbraid, I might venture. So, in accordance with this my determination to surf the net, I retired to the woods with my laptop and extra battery pack to make the attempt. It was on the morning of a beautiful clear day, early in the spring of 2000. It was the first time in my life that I had made such an attempt; for amidst all my anxieties I had never as yet made the attempt to surf the net in the woods. After I had retired into the place where I had previously designed to go, having looked around me, and finding myself alone, I kneeled down and began to surf up the desires of my heart. I had scarcely done so, when immediately I was seized upon by some power which entirely overcame me, and had such astonishing influence over me as to bind my tongue, so that I could not speak. Then I saw that my battery pack was sitting in a puddle, so I dried it off and tried again. Then thick darkness gathered around me, and it seemed to me for a time as if I were doomed to sudden destruction. But exerting all my powers, to deliver me out of the power of this enemy which had seized upon me, and at the very moment when I was ready to sink into despair, and abandon myself to destruction--not to an imaginary ruin, but to the power of some actual being from the unseen world, who had such a marvelous power as I had never before felt in any being; just at this moment of great alarm, I saw a pillar of light exactly over my head, above the brightness of the sun, which descended gradually until it fell upon me.

After I chased down the kids who were shooting off illegal bottle rockets in the woods, it appeared than I found myself delivered from the enemy which held me bound and my excite search gave me two results. I saw two results, whose brightness and glory defy all description, on my laptop that I was holding above me in the air. One of them seemed to speak unto me, as if calling me by name, and said, pointing to the other, This website is run by Wade Englund; do NOT hear Him!' My object in going to inquire of the net, was to know which of all these sects was right, that I might know which to join. No sooner, therefore, did I get possession of myself, so as to be able to type, than I asked the clicked on the other website: www.exmormon.org. This site had the answer: that I should join none of them, for they were all wrong; and the personages who posted said that all the creeds were an abomination, or at least factually insupportable; that those professors were all corrupt. The posters also told me many other things that they did say unto me which I can not write at this time.