World's most boring church

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  • user warning: Table './exmo_08072012/cache_filter' is marked as crashed and should be repaired query: UPDATE cache_filter SET data = '<p>ANON1331 Dec. 2013</p>\n<p>I was born into the church but never very active. I remember the times we went as a kid how boring it was and how we kids hated going. I\'ve gone to the YSA ward a few times and can see how it can be fun at times, but it\'s still rather boring. The last time I went to a family ward it was excruciatingly boring, and a good amount of the people just didn\'t look like they wanted to be there.</p>\n<p>The older men up on the podium droning on and on about ward business, the terrible musical performances, the screaming babies, the strangeness of people rubbing and scratching each other\'s backs, the Sunday school taught by people with 0 teaching skills, the boring EQ meeting that no one had any enthusiasm about... The question is what personally kept you going to church for years when the whole thing is so dreadfully boring??</p>\n<p>[YSA young single adult, EQ = elders quorom]</p>\n<hr />\nTupperwhere<br />\nRe: World\'s most boring church<br />\nthat was a really good summary. I went because I was forced to from birth.\n<hr />\n<p>bezoar<br />\nRe: World\'s most boring church</p>\n<p>Guilt.</p>\n<hr />\n<p>ConcernedCitizen<br />\nRe: World\'s most boring church<br />\n.......I went cause\' I could find free Cheerios stuck down in the pews!</p>\n<hr />\nexpanded<br />\nRe: World\'s most boring church<br />\nThe SM\'s have become absolutely anemic. Horrible music that no one wants to sing to. Unless you have a bishop or counselors with a real sense of humor, it\'s a matter of endurance. The back scratching and rubbing is truely bizarre as other poster already mentioned.\n<p>Maybe that was what they meant in the days when \"Endure to the end,\" was some motto they seemed to have all agreed on. Try to endure to the end of sacrament meeting.</p>\n<hr />\n<p>Ex-CultMember<br />\nRe: World\'s most boring church</p>\n<p>The church was true and if the church was true then I couldn\'t get into the Celestial Kingdom without going to church.</p>\n<hr />\n<p>donbagley<br />\nRe: World\'s most boring church<br />\nForced to go from birth. Bored and disgusted, I started skipping meetings at age six, for which I was punished. By the age of twelve, I said I\'d had enough and was labeled a follower of Satan. Downhill from there, if that were possible. Result: deep, abiding hatred of Mormonism.</p>\n<p>rationalist01<br />\nRe: World\'s most boring church</p>\n<p>The last few months were endured by playing Angry Birds. I think Angry Birds has sustained attendance more than is known. Maybe the church owes them some credit!</p>\n<hr />\nexpanded<br />\nRe: World\'s most boring church\n<p>I\'ve always tried to attend family special events, baptisms, blessings,etc., IF I get invited.</p>\n<p>Over the years as electronic devices had proliferated I noticed a lot of need to check messages, as well as the new toys for kids. Well, a short while ago I attended and noticed no phones, no checking messages, and no electonic toys. Maybe just the newest commandment for the ward, stake, region or church? Anyone know?</p>\n<hr />\nthedesertrat1<br />\nRe: World\'s most boring church<br />\nperhaps the backscratching and rubbing are a warmup for things to come in the later part of the day?\n<hr />\n<p>onlinemoniker<br />\nRe: World\'s most boring church</p>\n<p>Probably the back-scratching and rubbing are attempts to soothe the recipient. If it really is your young kid and it\'s boring as hell and you want the kid to keep quiet...</p>\n<hr />\n<p>presleynfactsrock<br />\nRe: World\'s most boring church<br />\nI personally liked the bread and water over the cheerios.</p>\n<p>Two things kept me going:</p>\n<p>1. Friends</p>\n<p>2. Promise of life after death</p>\n<hr />\nschlock<br />\nSo, I\'m standing in the TSA line at SLC.<br />\nIn front of me is a TBM family (mom was wearing a very tight fitting shirt, and her garment lines were unavoidably noticeable, sorry). Dad, mom, around an 8 year old daughter, and around a 10 year old son.\n<p>The 10 year old boy was rubbing and scratching his mom\'s back for the 15 minute duration that we stood in line. During this back-rubbing process, his hand kept drifting down to her butt cheeks and rubbing mom\'s bum. Each time he\'d do this, she\'d gently pull his arm back up above her waistline to rub her back. Dad was painfully aware of these goings on, and did nothing. Perhaps he was inured to the inappropriateness of his son\'s behavior because of his fellow SM back-rubbers. Maybe he was without spine. Who knows.</p>\n<p>But it was gross and weird and creepy and in a very very public place.</p>\n<p>WTF and ewwww!</p>\n<p>I was definitely uncomfortable. And I surmised that many of my fellow passengers were too, based on their squeamish looks of surprise and disgust.</p>\n<p>Yes, this behavior is bizzaro, in the extreme.</p>\n<p>I\'ve concluded that mormons have no sense of social propriety and boundaries. None.</p>\n<hr />\n<p>Stormin<br />\nRe: World\'s most boring church<br />\nForced to go when young then became a habit and I didn\'t know how boring it was. Now I am out and view internet preachers I totally agree that 3 hours of lies was boring though few attend all 3 hours ------ you find a reason to sit out on some meetings.</p>\n<hr />\ncludgie<br />\nRe: World\'s most boring church<br />\nGlad to hear yet another person who is disturbed by the odd pseudo-erotic Mormon back grooming behavior. I want to cry out, \"Get a room!!\" But often it is a sister missionary doing it to another sister missionary. Mormons have enough sexual confusions going on in their lives than to find sexual pleasure by rubbing backs in church. I wonder if the guys ever get erections over it.\n<hr />\nBabyCenter Snoop<br />\nI have a feeling . . .<br />\nthat a traditional Quaker meeting would be more stimulating than SM. And this is coming from someone who can\'t meditate at all.\n<hr />\n<p>tomie<br />\nRe: World\'s most boring church<br />\n1. Just always attended<br />\n2. Had friends in the ward</p>\n<p>The sm is Very boring, especially for young children.</p>\n<p>All the back rubbing/scratching is weird. Thought they did it because they were bored or trying to stay awake.</p>\n<p>I\'ve Never witnessed this type of behavior in other churches I\'ve attended.</p>\n<p>Don\'t miss attending sm [sacrament meeting] at all.</p>\n<hr />\n<p>Pooped<br />\nRe: World\'s most boring church<br />\nAttended out of obligation (usually had to teach a class or attend to some calling) and a sense of duty. I felt that since I had joined the club I was duty bound to support it. Once I realized they felt no duty or obligation to me I knew I\'d been had. I left.</p>\n<hr />\n<p>forestpal not logged in<br />\nRe: World\'s most boring church<br />\nI was BIC, and attended because I would be spanked if I didn\'t, and spanked if I wasn\'t on time.</p>\n<p>AS a teen-ager, I went because my friends and boyfriend went. We weren\'t allowed to sit together, but we wrote notes on the program, to give to each other afterwards. Pencils and books weren\'t allowed, but we would sneak them in. Of course, day-planners and little radios with earbuds weren\'t allowed.</p>\n<p>During my 14-month temple marriage from Hell, I was forced to go to church, or I would get worse than a spanking. I had to go when I was sick, too, and when he broke my arm. We taught the \"Young Married\" class together. How ironic.</p>\n<p>I divorced and married another TBM, and my TBM in-laws lived in the same ward. They threatened that our marriage would break up, if we didn\'t attend SM, but my husband finally refused, and I followed him out several months later. My in-laws blamed me, and really did try to break up our marriage.</p>\n<p>The bottom line is: I attended church out of FEAR. Not fear of God, but fear of the abusive Mormons in my life.</p>\n<hr />\nbreedumyung<br />\nRe: World\'s most boring church\n<p>At age 12, after Sacrament, I would get Mom\'s car keys from her purse (she was the chorister and was always afraid of me causing a scene up on the stage).</p>\n<p>My twin and I would go to her car on the side street and listen to rock n roll music on the radio until she came out...</p>\n<hr />\n<p>hangar18<br />\nRe: World\'s most boring church<br />\nWhen I was still semi-active, our bishop announced from the pulpit that he did not want to see any more electronic devices being used during church services because it was getting out of hand. At the time I was questioning the church and the bish\'s so-called \"authority\"-- so I completely ignored him. There was no way I was going to sit through 3 hours of hell without my SNES emulator! Surprisingly, there were many other people in the ward who ignored him as well.</p>\n<p>I\'m not aware of any church-wide announcement concerning the use of electronic devices during church-- I believe it is up to the individual ward/stake.</p>\n<hr />\nNormaRae<br />\nRe: World\'s most boring church\n<p>Oh gawd, BORING is an understatement.</p>\n<hr />\n<p>expanded<br />\nRe: World\'s most boring church<br />\nThanks, Hanger18, I was dying of curiosity.</p>\n<hr />\nThe exmo formerly known as Br.<br />\nSame here...<br />\nI suspect it\'s the same for many people. After I\'d decided to leave I had a brief period of time where I missed it. I went back, tried hard for a few months and then realized my mistake. This place is DULL, the teachings are all fake, I have no place here anymore. I\'m leaving again, this time for good.\n<hr />\n<p>catnip<br />\nRe: World\'s most boring church<br />\nI wasn\'t feeling up to snuff on the first Sunday of Advent, so I didn\'t go to church, but my inactive but still-believing TBM DH went. (I think, having discovered Advent, he LOVES it!)</p>\n<p>He came home with his eyes shining and said \"S (our pastor) gave an incredible sermon based on a new translation of (I forget what) and it really made me understand it in a different way! I really wish the Mormon church would quit doing its broken record thing and just keep repeating the same old stuff over and over.\" He is a spiritual seeker and LOVES to see things from different perspectives, and he doesn\'t see why the Mormon church can\'t be examined from different angles too.</p>\n<p>I didn\'t have the heart to say that coprolytes can\'t evolve.</p>\n<hr />\n<p>HankeLeee<br />\nRe: World\'s most boring church<br />\nI\'m so bored every time my TBM in laws want to invite me to church. I\'ll go to keep the peace but thank goodness I have my android tablet so I can surf the net while I listen to such faith promoting bullshit. There are some funny stories but the ending testimony for each talk is all bunch of drivel.</p>\n<p>\"Recovery from Mormonism - www.exmormon.org\"</p>\n', created = 1409569909, expire = 1409656309, headers = '', serialized = 0 WHERE cid = '2:b04dad5aebe491c42653912a35f49757' in /home/exmormon/public_html/d6/drupal/includes/cache.inc on line 112.

ANON1331 Dec. 2013

I was born into the church but never very active. I remember the times we went as a kid how boring it was and how we kids hated going. I've gone to the YSA ward a few times and can see how it can be fun at times, but it's still rather boring. The last time I went to a family ward it was excruciatingly boring, and a good amount of the people just didn't look like they wanted to be there.

The older men up on the podium droning on and on about ward business, the terrible musical performances, the screaming babies, the strangeness of people rubbing and scratching each other's backs, the Sunday school taught by people with 0 teaching skills, the boring EQ meeting that no one had any enthusiasm about... The question is what personally kept you going to church for years when the whole thing is so dreadfully boring??

[YSA young single adult, EQ = elders quorom]


Tupperwhere
Re: World's most boring church
that was a really good summary. I went because I was forced to from birth.

bezoar
Re: World's most boring church

Guilt.


ConcernedCitizen
Re: World's most boring church
.......I went cause' I could find free Cheerios stuck down in the pews!


expanded
Re: World's most boring church
The SM's have become absolutely anemic. Horrible music that no one wants to sing to. Unless you have a bishop or counselors with a real sense of humor, it's a matter of endurance. The back scratching and rubbing is truely bizarre as other poster already mentioned.

Maybe that was what they meant in the days when "Endure to the end," was some motto they seemed to have all agreed on. Try to endure to the end of sacrament meeting.


Ex-CultMember
Re: World's most boring church

The church was true and if the church was true then I couldn't get into the Celestial Kingdom without going to church.


donbagley
Re: World's most boring church
Forced to go from birth. Bored and disgusted, I started skipping meetings at age six, for which I was punished. By the age of twelve, I said I'd had enough and was labeled a follower of Satan. Downhill from there, if that were possible. Result: deep, abiding hatred of Mormonism.

rationalist01
Re: World's most boring church

The last few months were endured by playing Angry Birds. I think Angry Birds has sustained attendance more than is known. Maybe the church owes them some credit!


expanded
Re: World's most boring church

I've always tried to attend family special events, baptisms, blessings,etc., IF I get invited.

Over the years as electronic devices had proliferated I noticed a lot of need to check messages, as well as the new toys for kids. Well, a short while ago I attended and noticed no phones, no checking messages, and no electonic toys. Maybe just the newest commandment for the ward, stake, region or church? Anyone know?


thedesertrat1
Re: World's most boring church
perhaps the backscratching and rubbing are a warmup for things to come in the later part of the day?

onlinemoniker
Re: World's most boring church

Probably the back-scratching and rubbing are attempts to soothe the recipient. If it really is your young kid and it's boring as hell and you want the kid to keep quiet...


presleynfactsrock
Re: World's most boring church
I personally liked the bread and water over the cheerios.

Two things kept me going:

1. Friends

2. Promise of life after death


schlock
So, I'm standing in the TSA line at SLC.
In front of me is a TBM family (mom was wearing a very tight fitting shirt, and her garment lines were unavoidably noticeable, sorry). Dad, mom, around an 8 year old daughter, and around a 10 year old son.

The 10 year old boy was rubbing and scratching his mom's back for the 15 minute duration that we stood in line. During this back-rubbing process, his hand kept drifting down to her butt cheeks and rubbing mom's bum. Each time he'd do this, she'd gently pull his arm back up above her waistline to rub her back. Dad was painfully aware of these goings on, and did nothing. Perhaps he was inured to the inappropriateness of his son's behavior because of his fellow SM back-rubbers. Maybe he was without spine. Who knows.

But it was gross and weird and creepy and in a very very public place.

WTF and ewwww!

I was definitely uncomfortable. And I surmised that many of my fellow passengers were too, based on their squeamish looks of surprise and disgust.

Yes, this behavior is bizzaro, in the extreme.

I've concluded that mormons have no sense of social propriety and boundaries. None.


Stormin
Re: World's most boring church
Forced to go when young then became a habit and I didn't know how boring it was. Now I am out and view internet preachers I totally agree that 3 hours of lies was boring though few attend all 3 hours ------ you find a reason to sit out on some meetings.


cludgie
Re: World's most boring church
Glad to hear yet another person who is disturbed by the odd pseudo-erotic Mormon back grooming behavior. I want to cry out, "Get a room!!" But often it is a sister missionary doing it to another sister missionary. Mormons have enough sexual confusions going on in their lives than to find sexual pleasure by rubbing backs in church. I wonder if the guys ever get erections over it.
BabyCenter Snoop
I have a feeling . . .
that a traditional Quaker meeting would be more stimulating than SM. And this is coming from someone who can't meditate at all.

tomie
Re: World's most boring church
1. Just always attended
2. Had friends in the ward

The sm is Very boring, especially for young children.

All the back rubbing/scratching is weird. Thought they did it because they were bored or trying to stay awake.

I've Never witnessed this type of behavior in other churches I've attended.

Don't miss attending sm [sacrament meeting] at all.


Pooped
Re: World's most boring church
Attended out of obligation (usually had to teach a class or attend to some calling) and a sense of duty. I felt that since I had joined the club I was duty bound to support it. Once I realized they felt no duty or obligation to me I knew I'd been had. I left.


forestpal not logged in
Re: World's most boring church
I was BIC, and attended because I would be spanked if I didn't, and spanked if I wasn't on time.

AS a teen-ager, I went because my friends and boyfriend went. We weren't allowed to sit together, but we wrote notes on the program, to give to each other afterwards. Pencils and books weren't allowed, but we would sneak them in. Of course, day-planners and little radios with earbuds weren't allowed.

During my 14-month temple marriage from Hell, I was forced to go to church, or I would get worse than a spanking. I had to go when I was sick, too, and when he broke my arm. We taught the "Young Married" class together. How ironic.

I divorced and married another TBM, and my TBM in-laws lived in the same ward. They threatened that our marriage would break up, if we didn't attend SM, but my husband finally refused, and I followed him out several months later. My in-laws blamed me, and really did try to break up our marriage.

The bottom line is: I attended church out of FEAR. Not fear of God, but fear of the abusive Mormons in my life.


breedumyung
Re: World's most boring church

At age 12, after Sacrament, I would get Mom's car keys from her purse (she was the chorister and was always afraid of me causing a scene up on the stage).

My twin and I would go to her car on the side street and listen to rock n roll music on the radio until she came out...


hangar18
Re: World's most boring church
When I was still semi-active, our bishop announced from the pulpit that he did not want to see any more electronic devices being used during church services because it was getting out of hand. At the time I was questioning the church and the bish's so-called "authority"-- so I completely ignored him. There was no way I was going to sit through 3 hours of hell without my SNES emulator! Surprisingly, there were many other people in the ward who ignored him as well.

I'm not aware of any church-wide announcement concerning the use of electronic devices during church-- I believe it is up to the individual ward/stake.


NormaRae
Re: World's most boring church

Oh gawd, BORING is an understatement.


expanded
Re: World's most boring church
Thanks, Hanger18, I was dying of curiosity.


The exmo formerly known as Br.
Same here...
I suspect it's the same for many people. After I'd decided to leave I had a brief period of time where I missed it. I went back, tried hard for a few months and then realized my mistake. This place is DULL, the teachings are all fake, I have no place here anymore. I'm leaving again, this time for good.

catnip
Re: World's most boring church
I wasn't feeling up to snuff on the first Sunday of Advent, so I didn't go to church, but my inactive but still-believing TBM DH went. (I think, having discovered Advent, he LOVES it!)

He came home with his eyes shining and said "S (our pastor) gave an incredible sermon based on a new translation of (I forget what) and it really made me understand it in a different way! I really wish the Mormon church would quit doing its broken record thing and just keep repeating the same old stuff over and over." He is a spiritual seeker and LOVES to see things from different perspectives, and he doesn't see why the Mormon church can't be examined from different angles too.

I didn't have the heart to say that coprolytes can't evolve.


HankeLeee
Re: World's most boring church
I'm so bored every time my TBM in laws want to invite me to church. I'll go to keep the peace but thank goodness I have my android tablet so I can surf the net while I listen to such faith promoting bullshit. There are some funny stories but the ending testimony for each talk is all bunch of drivel.

"Recovery from Mormonism - www.exmormon.org"