Trying to leave the church... new

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  • user warning: Table './exmo_08072012/cache_filter' is marked as crashed and should be repaired query: UPDATE cache_filter SET data = '<p>Knight in Waiting Jan. 2014</p>\n<p>Hello again. Recently I\'ve made the decision to not go on my mission, which I\'m due for in a week or so. I\'m patching up some things in my aftermath plans, so I haven\'t told my parents yet. I do intend on telling them tonight, however.</p>\n<p>Unfortunately, issues have already arisen. My fiance, who wants to leave TSCC [this so called church] just as strongly as I do, has already received negative backlash by her parents. All sorts of \"Satan\'s pulling you away\", \"I\'m/ We\'re disappointed because you were becoming such good adults,\" etc.</p>\n<p>On top of that, I have already received an indirect threat, or rather an ultimatum from her father, \"If he doesn\'t go on his mission, then I will do everything in my power to get in your and his way.\" Regardless of his statement, I\'m still not going on a mission to be a hypocrite and a liar.</p>\n<p>Sadly, she\'s still in high school so leaving home isn\'t an option just yet.</p>\n<p>Does anybody have any kind of advice or comfort to offer? She could really use it. Also, any recommendations or heads ups before and after I tell my parents?</p>\n<p>All of your input is greatly appreciated. Thanks for helping out.</p>\n<hr />\nTupperwhere<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nJust remind her that it\'s her life. Any expectations put on her by her family are just that. Poor girl, I feel bad for her. She\'s lucky to have you!\n<hr />\nKnight in Waiting<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nThanks, I will. I feel really bad and responsible that she has to suffer like this.\n<hr />\nTupperwhere<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nyou can also tell her that I stopped going to church when I was 17 and my parents still love me. We don\'t have the BEST relationship due to the church stuff, but they have accepted my decisions for the most part. I remember when I was that age though, just feeling sick to my stomach that I couldn\'t live up to what they imagined for me. But life goes on and if they truly love and care about her, she can still have a relationship, just on her terms instead of theirs.\n<hr />\nKnight in Waiting<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nThat sounds like a perfect thing to tell her. I\'ll tell her right now, thank you!\n<hr />\n<p>Facing Tao<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nProbably a lot depends on how the conversation with your parents go tonight. If they\'re disappointed but supportive, you are in a much better position to support her. If, on the other hand, you receive no love from your parents about the decision, then it\'s probably really the decision time for you. I would not go on a mission, either. Living in a very inflamed circumstance for a longer time is not good for anyone, so it would be good to plan how you and your fiance can find a peaceful place of your own to live in as soon as it is feasible.</p>\n<hr />\nKnight in Waiting<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nThanks, Tao. That makes a lot of sense. She and I, along with the cooperation of a close cousin and friend, have already been fleshing out a plan and gathering external family members for support. If the plan works at its minimum potential, she and I should be able to leave home by June.\n<hr />\n<p>washings and annoyings<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nKnight, I left TSCC when I was a senior in high school. My TBM family was very unsupportive.</p>\n<p>I remember a high school teacher telling me that my parents couldn\'t make me do something I didn\'t want to do (such as be Mormon). He said they could make it very uncomfortable for me, but they couldn\'t make me do it. (I guess they could have hog tied me and taken me to church, or killed me or something, and while it was bad it wasn\'t quite THAT bad). I realized for the first time that he was right, that they couldn\'t make me be a Mormon if I didn\'t want to be.</p>\n<p>It\'s really hard when it\'s their house, their rules. Once your girlfriend is 18, she is legally an adult. I know that doesn\'t mean she has the means to get her own place or support herself. But I will tell you a secret that maybe I shouldn\'t: people my age rely on that fact that our kids still feel like we can still tell them what to do. When we want them to do something they don\'t want to do, we just tell them to do it and hold our breath inside hoping they will.</p>\n<p>And remember, TSCC doesn\'t have any power over you that you don\'t give them either. However real their power over you might feel, it\'s not real.</p>\n<p>You may have some rough times ahead. I would brace myself for not totally smooth sailing if I were you. Good luck. Please return and report!</p>\n<hr />\nFacing Tao<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nGood luck! And remember, things will always work out in some way. :)\n<hr />\n<p>Knight in Waiting<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nI really appreciate that, washings. I\'ll relay what you\'ve said to her. She\'s already been feeling a little better from hearing these responses.<br />\nI really love the website, so I\'ll be sure to post about how things turn out, so thank you so much.</p>\n<hr />\n<p>washings and nnoyings<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nYour girlfriend could also try this, if it\'s a good match for her personality. She could ask her family to help her with the difficult decision to be or not be a Mormon. Bring up just a few questions, maybe even just one, from acceptable Mormon sources. Maybe one of the essays the church has recently posted. Perhaps she could plant some seeds of doubt and get the whole family to leave. Long shot, I know, but it\'s got to be increasingly difficult for TSCC to tell people to just refuse to discuss things.</p>\n<hr />\nKnight in Waiting<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nWell, at some point I was going to drop the truth on her younger brother of 16, who is a good friend himself, and see how he reacted. I feel really bad for my friends that are still a part of the church and haven\'t learned the truth.\n<hr />\n<p>washings and annoyings<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nShe might also decide to go to church as her parents want since it is their house, their rules. While they can\'t actually \"make\" her go without physically harming her....going to church is not going to make her testimony come back.</p>\n<p>You and she may need to make some compromises with how you would really like to live right now, especially how you spend your Sundays, in order to keep a roof over your heads.</p>\n<p>It\'s okay to make some compromises with your family to keep peace. You probably still love them and all, I don\'t know.</p>\n<hr />\nKnight in Waiting<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nThat will probably end up being the case. When I meet with her today, we\'ll discuss how we\'ll handle the situation more.\n<hr />\n<p>The 1st FreeAtLast<br />\nSuggestions<br />\nYour fiancee could talk w/ a high school guidance counselor or school nurse (if there\'s one), explain her situation, and request info. about government and community resources available to young people who need to leave home, but finish their education.</p>\n<p>Info. about such resources should also be available in your community via/at the police, hospital, city/town hall, library, doctor\'s office, and welfare office. The YWCA would also likely have useful info. for you, as would any organization that assists teenagers in need (e.g., homeless ones).</p>\n<p>Other possible sources of help are:</p>\n<p>\"Exmormon Contacts and Resources\": <a href=\"http://www.exmormon.org/helpers.htm\" title=\"http://www.exmormon.org/helpers.htm\">http://www.exmormon.org/helpers.htm</a></p>\n<p><a href=\"http://www.postmormon.org/exp_e/\" title=\"http://www.postmormon.org/exp_e/\">http://www.postmormon.org/exp_e/</a> - click on Our Community &gt; Post-Mormon Chapters in the drop-down menu.</p>\n<p>Kudos to you and your fiancee for mustering the courage to act with integrity to your truth and taking control of your lives, free from cultic Mormonism!</p>\n<p>Best wishes!</p>\n<hr />\n<p>releve<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nIf your girl friend is under 18 you may be in some jeopardy if her parents decide that you are a problem. Check the law where you live. You might be smart to keep things cool until after that important birthday. You don\'t want to go on a mission, that\'s smart, but you also don\'t want to go to jail.</p>\n<hr />\n<p>Knight in Waiting<br />\nRe: Suggestions<br />\nWe\'ll look into finding resources that you mentioned, and we\'ll be sure to utilize the links.Thanks!</p>\n<hr />\n<p>Knight in Waiting<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nShe is 18, so things should be fine. Sorry, I forgot to mention that.</p>\n<hr />\nreleve<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nWhat are your plans for school? I know that you\'re in love and that is great, but please don\'t skip the stage in life where you get to be a single adult. You are leaving TSCC and some of the archaic rules that come with that territory.\n<p>Try to go away to school together.</p>\n<p>I have a daughter who married early, had three children, divorced and then went to school. It was hard and it is still hard.</p>\n<p>My other daughter married her high school sweetheart. They started dating when she was 16, they both went to college and married when they were 23. They\'ve now been married for 16 years. They have had challenges, but nothing to compare to those of my oldest daughter.</p>\n<hr />\nTupperwhere<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nwhat gets me is that \"Knight in Waiting\" is the exact guy I would want my daughter to marry if I was the parent of an 18 yo. He has a head on his shoulders, plans for the future and life in general, isn\'t a jerk, actually CARES about the family relationships. Leave it to the Mormons to say that he is under the influence of satan (?)\n<hr />\nKnight in Waiting<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nThe plan is to save up money, along with a few other people, and continue working while renting a home. After a year of working and saving to become financially stable, we\'d continue our education (although that will probably happen sooner than we\'re currently projecting).\n<p>Our priority will be to get into school as soon as possible. We don\'t intend on getting married until at least one of us has a career that can support us.</p>\n<p>So your advice is pretty helpful because it reaffirms us that school first, marriage later is the best option. Thank you.</p>\n<hr />\n<p>Wobbs<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nJust something to think about.<br />\nYou both are leaving the mormon life behind.<br />\nNormal non-Mormons don\'t get engaged at 17-19.<br />\nI can\'t give you the experience of life, but as an older folk here please belive me in saying what ever you are going through do as what you need to do. This girl is unlikely to be in the picture in 5 years time.<br />\nUse protection.<br />\nDon\'t go on a mission.<br />\nEduction is the key.<br />\nGood luck with your parents tonight.</p>\n<hr />\nKnight in Waiting<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nThank you, I\'ll take that all into consideration. My ultimate goal is to become a doctor so that I can really help people, so I\'m definitely going to complete my education no matter what.\n<hr />\n<p>releve<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nOkay, now that sounds like fun. Try to find jobs that will help pay for school. There are still a few of those out there. It sounds like you\'ve thought this through. I wish you all the best.</p>\n<hr />\nhonestone<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nRegarding you....when your parents act disappointed,say \"So you think I will become a different person since I am no longer interested in serving a mission. How is that? Have I been an honorable, responsible and caring person up to this date?\" Of course we expect them to say \"Yes\". Then tell them you have no intention of changing...you will remain those things going forward. If you want to throw in a couple lines about WHY you can\'t go out and lie to nonbelievers, then do that. It is all up to you since you know your parents well and we don\'t. Good luck and I am happy you are not wasting two yrs. of your life.\n<p>Your girlfriend must wait til she is 18 and suffer her parents disgruntled feelings. At 18 she needs to move out. And if they don\'t like it too bad. She will have to grow up a lot this last semester of school and prepare for her exit from the home. If you are able to help in that regard please do.</p>\n<hr />\nKnight in Waiting<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nThanks, I\'ll do my best to deal with my parents tonight. What you said is really helpful. I pretty much have a general sense of what they\'re going to say and how I\'m going to respond.\n<hr />\nTupperwhere<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nwhat? You don\'t want to become an orthodontist? How dare you achieve more than most Mormons!\n<hr />\nKnight in Waiting<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nLol, you\'re right. Maybe I should aspire to be a prophet so I can make some profit like a good Mormon.\n<hr />\n<p>Tupperwhere<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nthe GA path seems to pay off. But it\'s a VERY slow climb lol</p>\n<hr />\nwashings and annoyings<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nA friend of ours who owns a very successful plumbing business recently said he is having a hard time finding qualified younger employees. There is not an emphasis on going into a trade any more. The emphasis is totally on college.\n<p>I know you &amp; your girlfriend are on the college track, which I do personally favor. But maybe think about getting into a trade that could pay for college. Your girlfriend might even be able to take a good vocational class or two while she is still in high school.</p>\n<p>I have a friend who is requiring her daughters to acquire skills in a trade while they are in high school with the goal of them putting themselves through college later.</p>\n<p>Just a point to consider. May or may not work for you. Just something that never came up when I was your age.</p>\n<p>I can\'t say I enjoyed my poverty and hard work in a fast food restaurant when I was in college, although it did eventually pay off. Getting into a trade was an option I never saw.</p>\n<hr />\nKnight in Waiting<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nI\'m sure I\'ll get there if I REALLY pray and fast for it, haha.\n<hr />\nKnight in Waiting<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nThat\'s a really good idea! That didn\'t even cross our minds. Thank you, we\'ll start looking into that too.\n<hr />\n<p>DriftingAway<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nI was that age when I had difficulties with my parents trying to get in the way of me being with my boyfriend (who I eloped with and is now my husband of over a decade). Looking back, I really wish I had gone to a school counselor and told them everything. It\'s possible they would have picked up on the emotionally abusive themes that were going on that gradually turned into physical abuse towards my younger sister. I eventually needed therapy anyways. I will be frank: threatening her in that manner, over a mission of all things, is a control issue and emotionally abusive. It is not their right to determine relationships for another adult. It is their right to disagree and rationally explain why, or to contact authorities if something really bad is going on (someone\'s getting her hooked on drugs, beating her, getting her involved with crime, etc.). Past that, her parents have overstepped their bounds. I really feel for both of you, since that age was probably the unhappiest part of my life. I truly wish you both the best and hope things work out in the end.</p>\n<hr />\nKnight in Waiting<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nThank you for the concern. We\'ll be doing everything we can to ensure that we each end up happy. Your comment gives us a lot of comfort, just knowing that we\'re not alone in this and that there are people out there who will give us some kind of support.\n<hr />\nFacing Tao<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nAnd plumbing can be in some strange kind of way fun. I\'m an IT guy but recently did a plumbing project and quite enjoyed it! It also can pay reasonably well as a job.\n<hr />\nKnight in Waiting<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nGot any links for me to start looking into?\n<hr />\n<p>Slumbering Minstrel<br />\nRe: Trying to leave the church...<br />\nA lot of medical/laboratory jobs have tuition assistance. Good luck to you both!</p>\n<p>\"Recovery from Mormonism - www.exmormon.org\"</p>\n', created = 1490526219, expire = 1490612619, headers = '', serialized = 0 WHERE cid = '2:3eb8b921aec0b741f01f888cb12bc7bb' in /home/exmormon/public_html/d6/drupal/includes/cache.inc on line 112.

Knight in Waiting Jan. 2014

Hello again. Recently I've made the decision to not go on my mission, which I'm due for in a week or so. I'm patching up some things in my aftermath plans, so I haven't told my parents yet. I do intend on telling them tonight, however.

Unfortunately, issues have already arisen. My fiance, who wants to leave TSCC [this so called church] just as strongly as I do, has already received negative backlash by her parents. All sorts of "Satan's pulling you away", "I'm/ We're disappointed because you were becoming such good adults," etc.

On top of that, I have already received an indirect threat, or rather an ultimatum from her father, "If he doesn't go on his mission, then I will do everything in my power to get in your and his way." Regardless of his statement, I'm still not going on a mission to be a hypocrite and a liar.

Sadly, she's still in high school so leaving home isn't an option just yet.

Does anybody have any kind of advice or comfort to offer? She could really use it. Also, any recommendations or heads ups before and after I tell my parents?

All of your input is greatly appreciated. Thanks for helping out.


Tupperwhere
Re: Trying to leave the church...
Just remind her that it's her life. Any expectations put on her by her family are just that. Poor girl, I feel bad for her. She's lucky to have you!
Knight in Waiting
Re: Trying to leave the church...
Thanks, I will. I feel really bad and responsible that she has to suffer like this.
Tupperwhere
Re: Trying to leave the church...
you can also tell her that I stopped going to church when I was 17 and my parents still love me. We don't have the BEST relationship due to the church stuff, but they have accepted my decisions for the most part. I remember when I was that age though, just feeling sick to my stomach that I couldn't live up to what they imagined for me. But life goes on and if they truly love and care about her, she can still have a relationship, just on her terms instead of theirs.
Knight in Waiting
Re: Trying to leave the church...
That sounds like a perfect thing to tell her. I'll tell her right now, thank you!

Facing Tao
Re: Trying to leave the church...
Probably a lot depends on how the conversation with your parents go tonight. If they're disappointed but supportive, you are in a much better position to support her. If, on the other hand, you receive no love from your parents about the decision, then it's probably really the decision time for you. I would not go on a mission, either. Living in a very inflamed circumstance for a longer time is not good for anyone, so it would be good to plan how you and your fiance can find a peaceful place of your own to live in as soon as it is feasible.


Knight in Waiting
Re: Trying to leave the church...
Thanks, Tao. That makes a lot of sense. She and I, along with the cooperation of a close cousin and friend, have already been fleshing out a plan and gathering external family members for support. If the plan works at its minimum potential, she and I should be able to leave home by June.

washings and annoyings
Re: Trying to leave the church...
Knight, I left TSCC when I was a senior in high school. My TBM family was very unsupportive.

I remember a high school teacher telling me that my parents couldn't make me do something I didn't want to do (such as be Mormon). He said they could make it very uncomfortable for me, but they couldn't make me do it. (I guess they could have hog tied me and taken me to church, or killed me or something, and while it was bad it wasn't quite THAT bad). I realized for the first time that he was right, that they couldn't make me be a Mormon if I didn't want to be.

It's really hard when it's their house, their rules. Once your girlfriend is 18, she is legally an adult. I know that doesn't mean she has the means to get her own place or support herself. But I will tell you a secret that maybe I shouldn't: people my age rely on that fact that our kids still feel like we can still tell them what to do. When we want them to do something they don't want to do, we just tell them to do it and hold our breath inside hoping they will.

And remember, TSCC doesn't have any power over you that you don't give them either. However real their power over you might feel, it's not real.

You may have some rough times ahead. I would brace myself for not totally smooth sailing if I were you. Good luck. Please return and report!


Facing Tao
Re: Trying to leave the church...
Good luck! And remember, things will always work out in some way. :)

Knight in Waiting
Re: Trying to leave the church...
I really appreciate that, washings. I'll relay what you've said to her. She's already been feeling a little better from hearing these responses.
I really love the website, so I'll be sure to post about how things turn out, so thank you so much.


washings and nnoyings
Re: Trying to leave the church...
Your girlfriend could also try this, if it's a good match for her personality. She could ask her family to help her with the difficult decision to be or not be a Mormon. Bring up just a few questions, maybe even just one, from acceptable Mormon sources. Maybe one of the essays the church has recently posted. Perhaps she could plant some seeds of doubt and get the whole family to leave. Long shot, I know, but it's got to be increasingly difficult for TSCC to tell people to just refuse to discuss things.


Knight in Waiting
Re: Trying to leave the church...
Well, at some point I was going to drop the truth on her younger brother of 16, who is a good friend himself, and see how he reacted. I feel really bad for my friends that are still a part of the church and haven't learned the truth.

washings and annoyings
Re: Trying to leave the church...
She might also decide to go to church as her parents want since it is their house, their rules. While they can't actually "make" her go without physically harming her....going to church is not going to make her testimony come back.

You and she may need to make some compromises with how you would really like to live right now, especially how you spend your Sundays, in order to keep a roof over your heads.

It's okay to make some compromises with your family to keep peace. You probably still love them and all, I don't know.


Knight in Waiting
Re: Trying to leave the church...
That will probably end up being the case. When I meet with her today, we'll discuss how we'll handle the situation more.

The 1st FreeAtLast
Suggestions
Your fiancee could talk w/ a high school guidance counselor or school nurse (if there's one), explain her situation, and request info. about government and community resources available to young people who need to leave home, but finish their education.

Info. about such resources should also be available in your community via/at the police, hospital, city/town hall, library, doctor's office, and welfare office. The YWCA would also likely have useful info. for you, as would any organization that assists teenagers in need (e.g., homeless ones).

Other possible sources of help are:

"Exmormon Contacts and Resources": http://www.exmormon.org/helpers.htm

http://www.postmormon.org/exp_e/ - click on Our Community > Post-Mormon Chapters in the drop-down menu.

Kudos to you and your fiancee for mustering the courage to act with integrity to your truth and taking control of your lives, free from cultic Mormonism!

Best wishes!


releve
Re: Trying to leave the church...
If your girl friend is under 18 you may be in some jeopardy if her parents decide that you are a problem. Check the law where you live. You might be smart to keep things cool until after that important birthday. You don't want to go on a mission, that's smart, but you also don't want to go to jail.


Knight in Waiting
Re: Suggestions
We'll look into finding resources that you mentioned, and we'll be sure to utilize the links.Thanks!


Knight in Waiting
Re: Trying to leave the church...
She is 18, so things should be fine. Sorry, I forgot to mention that.


releve
Re: Trying to leave the church...
What are your plans for school? I know that you're in love and that is great, but please don't skip the stage in life where you get to be a single adult. You are leaving TSCC and some of the archaic rules that come with that territory.

Try to go away to school together.

I have a daughter who married early, had three children, divorced and then went to school. It was hard and it is still hard.

My other daughter married her high school sweetheart. They started dating when she was 16, they both went to college and married when they were 23. They've now been married for 16 years. They have had challenges, but nothing to compare to those of my oldest daughter.


Tupperwhere
Re: Trying to leave the church...
what gets me is that "Knight in Waiting" is the exact guy I would want my daughter to marry if I was the parent of an 18 yo. He has a head on his shoulders, plans for the future and life in general, isn't a jerk, actually CARES about the family relationships. Leave it to the Mormons to say that he is under the influence of satan (?)
Knight in Waiting
Re: Trying to leave the church...
The plan is to save up money, along with a few other people, and continue working while renting a home. After a year of working and saving to become financially stable, we'd continue our education (although that will probably happen sooner than we're currently projecting).

Our priority will be to get into school as soon as possible. We don't intend on getting married until at least one of us has a career that can support us.

So your advice is pretty helpful because it reaffirms us that school first, marriage later is the best option. Thank you.


Wobbs
Re: Trying to leave the church...
Just something to think about.
You both are leaving the mormon life behind.
Normal non-Mormons don't get engaged at 17-19.
I can't give you the experience of life, but as an older folk here please belive me in saying what ever you are going through do as what you need to do. This girl is unlikely to be in the picture in 5 years time.
Use protection.
Don't go on a mission.
Eduction is the key.
Good luck with your parents tonight.


Knight in Waiting
Re: Trying to leave the church...
Thank you, I'll take that all into consideration. My ultimate goal is to become a doctor so that I can really help people, so I'm definitely going to complete my education no matter what.

releve
Re: Trying to leave the church...
Okay, now that sounds like fun. Try to find jobs that will help pay for school. There are still a few of those out there. It sounds like you've thought this through. I wish you all the best.


honestone
Re: Trying to leave the church...
Regarding you....when your parents act disappointed,say "So you think I will become a different person since I am no longer interested in serving a mission. How is that? Have I been an honorable, responsible and caring person up to this date?" Of course we expect them to say "Yes". Then tell them you have no intention of changing...you will remain those things going forward. If you want to throw in a couple lines about WHY you can't go out and lie to nonbelievers, then do that. It is all up to you since you know your parents well and we don't. Good luck and I am happy you are not wasting two yrs. of your life.

Your girlfriend must wait til she is 18 and suffer her parents disgruntled feelings. At 18 she needs to move out. And if they don't like it too bad. She will have to grow up a lot this last semester of school and prepare for her exit from the home. If you are able to help in that regard please do.


Knight in Waiting
Re: Trying to leave the church...
Thanks, I'll do my best to deal with my parents tonight. What you said is really helpful. I pretty much have a general sense of what they're going to say and how I'm going to respond.
Tupperwhere
Re: Trying to leave the church...
what? You don't want to become an orthodontist? How dare you achieve more than most Mormons!
Knight in Waiting
Re: Trying to leave the church...
Lol, you're right. Maybe I should aspire to be a prophet so I can make some profit like a good Mormon.

Tupperwhere
Re: Trying to leave the church...
the GA path seems to pay off. But it's a VERY slow climb lol


washings and annoyings
Re: Trying to leave the church...
A friend of ours who owns a very successful plumbing business recently said he is having a hard time finding qualified younger employees. There is not an emphasis on going into a trade any more. The emphasis is totally on college.

I know you & your girlfriend are on the college track, which I do personally favor. But maybe think about getting into a trade that could pay for college. Your girlfriend might even be able to take a good vocational class or two while she is still in high school.

I have a friend who is requiring her daughters to acquire skills in a trade while they are in high school with the goal of them putting themselves through college later.

Just a point to consider. May or may not work for you. Just something that never came up when I was your age.

I can't say I enjoyed my poverty and hard work in a fast food restaurant when I was in college, although it did eventually pay off. Getting into a trade was an option I never saw.


Knight in Waiting
Re: Trying to leave the church...
I'm sure I'll get there if I REALLY pray and fast for it, haha.
Knight in Waiting
Re: Trying to leave the church...
That's a really good idea! That didn't even cross our minds. Thank you, we'll start looking into that too.

DriftingAway
Re: Trying to leave the church...
I was that age when I had difficulties with my parents trying to get in the way of me being with my boyfriend (who I eloped with and is now my husband of over a decade). Looking back, I really wish I had gone to a school counselor and told them everything. It's possible they would have picked up on the emotionally abusive themes that were going on that gradually turned into physical abuse towards my younger sister. I eventually needed therapy anyways. I will be frank: threatening her in that manner, over a mission of all things, is a control issue and emotionally abusive. It is not their right to determine relationships for another adult. It is their right to disagree and rationally explain why, or to contact authorities if something really bad is going on (someone's getting her hooked on drugs, beating her, getting her involved with crime, etc.). Past that, her parents have overstepped their bounds. I really feel for both of you, since that age was probably the unhappiest part of my life. I truly wish you both the best and hope things work out in the end.


Knight in Waiting
Re: Trying to leave the church...
Thank you for the concern. We'll be doing everything we can to ensure that we each end up happy. Your comment gives us a lot of comfort, just knowing that we're not alone in this and that there are people out there who will give us some kind of support.
Facing Tao
Re: Trying to leave the church...
And plumbing can be in some strange kind of way fun. I'm an IT guy but recently did a plumbing project and quite enjoyed it! It also can pay reasonably well as a job.
Knight in Waiting
Re: Trying to leave the church...
Got any links for me to start looking into?

Slumbering Minstrel
Re: Trying to leave the church...
A lot of medical/laboratory jobs have tuition assistance. Good luck to you both!

"Recovery from Mormonism - www.exmormon.org"