Ridiculous things Mormons (TBMs) say to us

icedlatte Sep. 2012

-What are you going to do if one of your kids gets sick? You can't give them a priesthood blessing!!! (oh no! Whatever will we do without the magic olive oil?!?)

-So when do you think you'll come back? (uh, never, that's why we resigned)

-You're not really happy

-Did you do this just to hurt your parents? (yep, destroying family relationships and hurting the people we love just sounded like so much fun)

-I'm sad that we don't have anything in common anymore

-Well you can still get visiting teachers/home teachers to help you out!

-But I KNOW that you know the church is true!

Got any good ones?

jong1064
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's (Mormons) say to us
When my grandma died...

Where do you think she is now? Don't you think she wants you to live righteously so you can be with her?

wilford ruffwood
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
-So you think you're smarter than the BRETHREN?? They're doctors and lawyers and...and..

-You left just so you could justify 'sinful' behavior

-What's the purpose of your life now, if you don't believe in eternal families, the celestial kingdom, etc?

Some people just can't accept that there are those of us who find enjoyment, fulfillment, even, in the day to day, without worrying about that period of time after we die and our bodies rot in the ground.

jesuscrisco
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
More silly things mormons say:

1. I was once where you are. It's made my faith so much stronger.

2. You accepted the plan in the pre-mortal life. Why reject it now when you're so close to the end?

3. You knew it was true once. I know you did. Your testimony was sincere.

4. Now that you've had the truth you won't get another chance after you die.

5. I don't need to know why you left. I already know. You wanted to sin.

caedmon
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
You think too much.

icedlatte
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
5. I don't need to know why you left. I already know. You wanted to sin.

I got this one, except it was "You left just so you could drink coffee and not feel bad about it" Yep, I sold my soul for some Starbucks!

knotheadusc
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
You're PRIDEFUL.

quebec
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
"2. You accepted the plan in the pre-mortal life. Why reject it now when you're so close to the end?"

That question is hilarious... now that you are so close to the end...Lol ;)

CA girl
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
"You know, excommunication isn't a bad thing - it's a loving step to help you return to good standing with Heavenly Father." - my mom (WTF, Mom? I hadn't been excommunicated nor had I done anything I could be excommunicated for. I was the same person just doubted the church and you think I've done something that deserves excommunication!!!)

"I missed you at church." You think we believe that TBMs? I want to answer either "Why? I don't remember being friends with you." Or "Well, maybe you shouldn't be so shallow as to choose your friends based on their religious beliefs alone and then you wouldn't have to miss anyone."

"Deep down you really know the church is true." Dude, just because you are pulling your testimony out of your @ss doesn't mean I have to dig that far down to figure out what is right.

spanner
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
"You rationalized away your testimony!"

Why yes, yes I did.

judyblue
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
"Deep down you really know the church is true."

Deep down you really know it isn't.

flyfisher
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
Come on man you know better.

Ya know you are right I do know better that's why I am out!

stbleaving
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
"Are you fornicating?" (From the RS pres)

"You are doing this to hurt meeeeeeeee!" (From the bishop)

"Now you'll never get married." (From my nosy TBM neighbors)

WakingUpVegas
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
Right up there with "We miss you" is "we just love the ________ family! They are such an important part of our ward family." I've heard this said about us quite a bit lately. While kind, they barely know us. They only call if they want something out of us, and every ward function, we're usually forgotten about because the cliques are VERY tightly knit. Luckily, we don't go to too many of those.
quebec
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
"I missed you at church."

Even if they were/are friends, the thing is the you of then is not the you of now. So they actually are not missing you. ;)

John_Lyle
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
My grandmother was a schizophrenic... No thanks...
judyblue
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
"I don't know if you've ever read the Book of Mormon, but-"

Of COURSE I've read it. Probably more times than you have.

"Seriously? You've really read it? And you still don't have a testimony?"

ghost buster
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
I'm sad that satan has so much power over you
sivab1
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
"Have you thought about your children?"

Oh sh** is it my responsibility as a parent to think about my children?

"We are just sad for you."

I am sad for you for feeling like you have to be sad for me when obviously I am very happy and you are the one stuck in the time-sucking, financial fiasco, lying, manipulative cult.

goldenrule
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
Even if you don't believe it, you'll come back because it's a great place to raise kids.

You're not happy. Stan is deceiving you.

Is [insert obvious problem with church here] essential to your salvation?

Where did you hear/read that? Have you done your research with church approved or anti Mormon sources?

You just need to..um...turn off your brain.

I miss you (even though I literally live 3 houses down and you can see me whenever you want, but that's not really what we are talking about).

baura
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
What are you mad at Heavenly Father about?
jesuscrisco
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
For tricking me into a pyramid scheme and for giving me a body that poops.
Nancy Rigdon
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
You just need to fast and pray SINCERELY about this.

You just need to have faith.

Don't you want to live with your family forever?

jbug
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
My husband's Aunt asked me --Aren't you worried about the Afterlife?

She is a nice person and I didn't want my TBM husband to get mad, so I just said that no, I was not.

Good grief!

shonto
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
Both from my mom:

"You don't believe in satan? He told you he doesn't exist!"

"I still love you, anyway."

nomo_angelchaps
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
I'm only worried about your salvation...uh huh.

I am going to be really busy with my new business so I won't be able to spend any more time with you. see ya.

ozpoof
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
"I don't care about facts, I have a confirmation by the holy ghost that it's true."

Yeah but the so called confirmation was that the bullshit version of Mormon history is true, so either Satan is deceiving you or you convinced yourself of the truthfulness of a lie you fuckin' dolt!

faithnomore
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
ROFLMAO!
T-Bone
jesuscrisco - excellent stuff. Here are my responses.
1. I was once where you are.
And you were SOOOOOO much more fun!

It's made my faith so much stronger.
No, it isn't.

2. You accepted the plan in the pre-mortal life. Why reject it now when you're so close to the end?
Actually, by talking down to me, you're the one getting closer to the end.

3. You knew it was true once. I know you did. Your testimony was sincere.
I was once sincere about Santa Claus, too.

4. Now that you've had the truth you won't get another chance after you die.
Is that a promise? Will they leave me alone? Please say yes!

5. I don't need to know why you left. I already know. You wanted to sin.
There are just so many answers to this one.
You just said you were where I was. What sins did you commit? Pre-marital sex? Drugs? Did you masturbate? (Double points if you're talking to an older female relative or an especially constipated individual.)

If they are comfortable enough bringing it up with you, they should be comfortable enough hearing what you have to say.

And here is where we put it back on them.

"You just went back for the Prozac, didn't you?"

T-Bone

rhgc
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
Fortunately for me, most are afraid to say anything. But I was accused of "being prideful", "angry", and probably covering some sin like masturbation. Frankly, if I had pride I would have left eons earlier. My only anger is at myself for sticking around so long in TSCC despite my total lack of belief in it. Most TBMs don't have the foggiest idea of what to say and are afraid they will become infected if they say much at all. Perhaps this is because of their own doubts in the doctrine, etc.
T-Bone
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
"Are you fornicating?" (From the RS pres)
Are you jealous?

"You are doing this to hurt meeeeeeeee!" (From the bishop)
Yes, I wake up every day thinking of ways to hurt you? Good grief, are you that self-centered?

"Now you'll never get married." (From my nosy TBM neighbors)
Are you jealous?

T-Bone
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
goldenrule Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Even if you don't believe it, you'll come back
> because it's a great place to raise kids.
No, it's not. Unless you're a therapist. Then the more kids you see at church today, the more screwed up adults you'll see in your office in 15 years.

> You're not happy. Stan is deceiving you.
Stan sure is a tricky feller, isn't he?

> Where did you hear/read that? Have you done your
> research with church approved or anti Mormon
> sources?
Church-approved materials are the best anti-Mormon materials out there. Too bad they've been hidden from the majority of church members.

> I miss you (even though I literally live 3 houses
> down and you can see me whenever you want, but
> that's not really what we are talking about).
Come see me sometime. You know where I live.

Basically, Mormons live off of approval. If we don't validate their beliefs by showing up on Sunday (yes, they're really that weak-minded) then it really puts them in to a tail spin.

T-Bone

ozpoof
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
One old bag actually asked me twice when I plan to marry and have kids. The first time I felt really embarrassed like she was prying into my sexuality, and she said it in front of my father. I said I don't want to pass my genes on, which kind of pissed off my father.

The second time she asked I replied by asking her if she lets her husband slurp on her pu$$y

She stopped asking intrusive and rude questions after that.

jong1064
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
Don't even get me started on periods, childbirth and menopause!

hello
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
Good gravy, I can't think of anyone I care so much about, or want to see again, so much that I would be a Mormon to do so. Not even DW.

Bal
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
College ruined your daughter, it made her an intellectual.

anagrammy
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
*Your testimony held me up through some dark times.

*How could betray what you know is true?

*I'm not surprised.

*You're (just) a convert, right?

Anagrammy

baura
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
Notice that NONE of these are things TBMs would say to a never-Mo.

As we have noticed with Hinckley when he was doing media interviews and with Mitt today, Mormons speak differently to non-Mormons than they do to other Mormons. This is one of the reasons for the retention problem that they are having. Once the convert becomes a Mormon the other Mormons start acting and speaking differently toward them. It' sort of a "bait and switch."

Particles of Faith
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
From DS's friend to DS dear son]: my dad told me why your dad left the church. It was because people made fun of him because he believed in evolution.

Fortunately DS, even at the tender age of 14 was smarter than that. He just gave the best answer possible. "No it wasn't."

pigsinzen
Re: Ridiculous things TBM's say to us
What is the purpose of life?...........TO ENJOY IT!!!!!

"Recovery from Mormonism - www.exmormon.org"