Cleaning the Mormon building, no longer volunteer!
by girlincognito Apr 2012
...because now, whether you like it or attend church or not, you will be *assigned* your cleaning time! Cause I wouldn't want to do anything else with my family at 8am on a Saturday, like I don't know, sleep.... and make sure you bring your own vacuum, too!
Email received this morning from the RS Secretary:
Hello Everybody,
This is a reminder. Our ward has the church cleaning assignment this Saturday, the 14th, @ 8:00 am for everyone whose last names begin with the letter M, N, O. This is an assignment for the whole family, not just Relief Society. Remember to bring your vacuums, come to the stage area, and you will be given your assigned area(s).
If for any reason, you are unable to make it, ask another family to take your place.
runtu
Re: Cleaning the building, no longer volunteer!
That's how they did it in our ward in Texas. Hardly anyone showed up, and we were there for about 3 hours. I had just bought a Dyson vacuum and dutifully brought it. I couldn't believe how much dirt and crud came out of those carpets, but I figured it was because no one else bothered to do a good job of it.
If you look around in an LDS chapel these days, you'll notice that the corners and hard-to-reach places aren't clean, the bathrooms are sometimes not much cleaner than a truck-stop restroom, and everything just looks a bit worn-down and shabby.
Stunted
Wouldn't it be fun to respond with this....
...We can't make it so we're asking your family to take our place. If you can't make it, ask another family.
Thanks so much!
bignevermo
that is an awesome answer Stunted!! :) +1
spaghetti oh
Re: that is an awesome answer Stunted!! :) +1
Agreed! Nice one, Stunted! :D
forbiddencokedrinker
Re: Cleaning the building, no longer volunteer!
So what you say we need to do, is start reporting Mormon restrooms to the health department, in all the States that are not either Utah or Idaho. I bet the fines would get the professional janitors hired back real fast.
girlincognito
Re: Wouldn't it be fun to respond with this....
Haha that is perfect! I wish I had the marbles to do it. Well, not really, since I'm a girl, but you know... metaphorical ones.
girlincognito
Re: Cleaning the building, no longer volunteer!
I actually went about a year and a half ago, shortly before I stopped believing. I cleaned the women's restroom myself, and the RS president cleaned the mens. She was not to pleased about that and seemed incredibly "pissed" off-- pun intended!
nomilk
Sill a volunteer option in the ward I no longer attend,
But their equipment is horrible. (SW Houston)
They still should be having professionals with good vaccuums and mops (steam cleaner would be good too).
Because I had had some financial help (they offered it, I'd never ask) I volunteered to come in Saturday and really clean all the bathrooms.
"HaHA Sister, we can't have you in here alone."
WTH?? The mens rooms smelled worse that a cheap night clubs trough.
guynoirprivateeye
EMAJs are told to bring their own vac?
cheap. they're making members feel cheap & exploited.
Thanks a lot, LDS Inc.
jameswilmons
Re: Cleaning the building, no longer volunteer!
Yep. My last calling before I got out was the ward cleaning assigner. The bishop directly told me, "assign 2 members (I was in a singles ward) each week and then alert them that it's their week. Tell them if they can't go they are responsible for finding a replacement."
They have to assign people now! You're no longer volunteering, you're assigned. Not only do you not get paid for this mandatory work, you pay 10% of your income to a multi-hundred billion dollar organization.
Unbelievable
A ANON
Re: Cleaning the building, no longer volunteer!
Mormons are in the business of putting monkeys on each other's backs.
girlincognito
Re: Cleaning the building, no longer volunteer!
Obviously we're not going to go, but oh how I wish I could be an invisibly fly on the wall to see A) If anyone actually DOES go, and B) If people go, they have anything nice to say about the fact that my family is not there :) I think I'll have a big smile on my face Saturday morning at HOME!
laluna
Re: Wouldn't it be fun to respond with this....
haha! Tag! You're it!
notion
Re: Cleaning the building, no longer volunteer!
I think it's because only small number of people volunteer. It's always the same people signing up because they see empty slots. Even those start complaining after some time and want others to "partake" :)
notmonotloggedin
EWWW...I can't imagine using my home vacuum to clean a public building!!!
anon90
Re: Cleaning the building, no longer volunteer!
If people complain about getting assigned, they can always make it a calling. "The Lord has called you to clean the building this week."
Mia
Re: Cleaning the building, no longer volunteer!
You have to bring your own vacuum? I would never do that!
Besides, my vac is built into my house. But even if it wasn't I wouldn't use my home vac like and industrial machine. The least the church can do is buy the right equipment.
I haven't met anyone who is ok with cleaning the church. I think it's going to get to the point they will use it as a temple recommend question. I see a lot of rebellion over this situation.
rowan
Re: Cleaning the building, no longer volunteer!
For those of you who watch PBS, the series "Keeping Up Appearances" the ladies of that church meet, take individual cleaning assignments from the Vicar's wife, and afterwards they have tea with light refreshments.
Maybe that is where the Morg got the idea, watching PBS!
Did not go as far as tea with light refreshments!
dogblogger
Re: Cleaning the building, no longer volunteer!
Eventually it will be a new service missionary "opportunity" to be janitor missionaries. You'll drive from building to building in areas with enough mormon density.
In less dense areas, it will become a stake missionary calling.
Lethbridge Reprobate
Re: Cleaning the building, no longer volunteer!
I am still awaiting the call....and salivating at the chance to tell them to stick their job up their self-righteous A$$'s!!!
weeder
"feel"?!?!? ... no they "are" !!!!
goatsgotohell
Re: Cleaning the building, no longer volunteer!
I love how the assignment comes from the RS Secretary and it is duly noted that it is not an RS only assignment. The Penishood is really letting the women flex their power, inviting the men to come help clean and all.
Mia
Re: Cleaning the building, no longer volunteer!
I didn't realize they delegated this nasty little job to the women. What a bunch of jerks.
They know that this is by far the worst job in the church. Your chance of getting people to consistently say yes is slim.
Devoted Exmo
Re: Cleaning the building, no longer volunteer!
I've said it before and I'll say it again, before long, it will be an assignment exclusively for the relief society.
"And no murmurring!! The Lord wants you to clean the toilets" "It's because you're more spiritually in tune than us weak males!"
anagrammy
You got that right
We have to respect the choices (of the priesthood, that is, the choice to delegate the latrine duty to the Goddesses who cannot be named, they are so special....)
I believe using your home vacuum and bringing all the bacteria from a public meeting hall back to circulate through the air of your home is a terrible idea.
It's unhealthy and a great way to bring in unfamiliar bacteria, endangering the lives of families with babies, the elderly or anyone with a compromised immune system.
Not that the church gives a rat's ass about that.
Anagrammy
forbiddencokedrinker
Re: Cleaning the building, no longer volunteer!
We're missing the most important part. Didn't I joke a few months back about the church requiring members to bring their own cleaning tools? Can my prediction about them requiring members to bring toilet paper from home be far off? Do I have the gift of prophesy? All signs point to be assuming that I do.
rgrraymond
Re: Cleaning the building, no longer volunteer!
I bowed my head and said YES!
Lethbridge Reprobate
Re: Cleaning the building, no longer volunteer!
"Penishood"...PERFECT!
zimmy
Re: Cleaning the building, no longer volunteer!
i always pick up after myself so i dont go and clean the church that other less thoughtful people have messed up. let the slobs clean the building.
imalive
Re: Cleaning the building, no longer volunteer!
Gees at least my ward building has two vacuum cleaners so no one has to bring theirs.
suckafoo
Re: Cleaning the building, no longer volunteer!
I really hope they do assign it to RS in hopes it would open a few eyeballs.
matt
Runtu, that's possibly because a Dyson is so powerful it can suck the pattern off some carpets! ;o))
guynoirprivateeye
Re: Cleaning the building, no longer volunteer!
Cleaning TAILGATE!
CLEANING + AMWAY!
CLEANING + SCRIPTURE STUDY!
Greyfort
Re: Cleaning the building, no longer volunteer!
What are they gonna do if you don't show up? Fire you?
Man, did I ever get out at the right time.
baura
Re: Cleaning the building, no longer volunteer!
Junk email. Send it to your spam folder.
saviorself
When I was an active church member back in the 1950s...
the ward had a full time paid custodian. His name was Brother Johnson and he was the nicest gentlemen that you could ever meet. I don't know what kind of "job" skills he had, but whatever they were he wasn't able to find a full time job in his chosen vocation. So he was happy to be the ward custodian. The inside of the church was always clean and well cared for, and the landscaping and snow shoveling was always properly done.
This was a win-win situation for everybody. The members had a clean ward house without having to do the labor themselves. Brother Johnson had a full time job, which he performed very well. With all the money the CoJCoLDS takes in through tithing, they were not going bankrupt by paying custodians to take care of the ward buildings.
If the church members had any common sense (we all know that is not possible) they would rebel and only pay 9% tithing. They would pay the other 1% into a fund which would be used to hire a ward custodian on a contract basis. Then the ward members would not have to do the custodial work themselves.
devashoe
Re: Cleaning the building, no longer volunteer!
Ancient Greece and Ancient Rome both got to looking shabby before they finally fell to ruins.
druid
Free pass from the Bishop
They need to offer some real incentives....Like a free pass from the bishop with no repentence required.
Clean the church this sunday and you get one free
- six pack of beer
- pass to masterbate (clean twice and you can add porn)
- oral sex
I have to run. Add some more....
suckafoo
Re: Cleaning the building, no longer volunteer!
When the young women graduate to relief society they should be given toilet brushes as a welcome gift
wittyname
+100000
Devoted Exmo
Re: Cleaning the building, no longer volunteer!
Hahhahhaha!! I think you just gave them a great idea!
NormaRae
That was my thought.
I love the part about finding someone if you can't be there. I could maybe see it if you had volunteered or signed up and made a commitment and then couldn't be there. But to be TOLD that it's your day because of the spelling of your name, without them asking and just assuming you have nothing else scheduled or nothing better to do? Sorry, that's not your problem. That is THEIR problem. Send that @#$%& rolling back uphill (love how this program translates the swear words for us). Let them start taking people's recommends away for not showing up and hear people say, "hey, whatever."
HOW to these morons not see through this? They build a multi-billion dollar mall and then pull stunts like this about janitorial service? And "bring your own vacuum"? WTF???? They can afford several high-quality vacuums for each building. They SHOULD be hiring people in the ward who need extra income or a part-time job to clean the buildings. But now you're supposed to work a full-time job, work an unpaid church job on the side and be a volunteer janitor, all while you are raising a half-dozen kids and giving them 10% of your income. This really is absolutely effing crazy.
"Recovery from Mormonism - www.exmormon.org"