Posted by Trixie on May 24, 1999 at 11:56:55:
In Reply to: I can't figure something out... posted by Jason on May 24, 1999 at 10:18:57:
I feel comfortable labeling myself "atheist" only when it is clear that this label means, to me, that I do not know if there is a god or not. However, like you and others here have stated, I have no emotional attachment to atheism, and no inherent distaste for theism as some intellectually inferior system. I can truly conceive of either scenario being the "objective" truth about the god question. I do not know, and I don't really forsee myself knowing EVER. I have serious doubts on BOTH sides of the equation. The idea of theism, of the personally involved and interactive god, is problematic to me for the reasons Gunnar listed above. The only way I can conceive of a personal god of this sort is if the various religious differences do not matter at all to "him/her/it", and all the various religions are simply convenient masks for the truly unknowable (re Joseph Campbell), so god honors all of them, and just "sanctifies", so to speak, whichever path any given individual may need, for whatever reason of culture or psychological makeup. I certainly cannot accept the idea of a "god" with some clearly specified path of return, with judgements inherent one day.
However, whenever I fashion theories, or read others' theories, to explain certain phenomenon - like aspects of human nature, or the origin of the universe - I am skeptical about these theories as well, since most of them cannot be clearly "proven", either - so why is it so much more of an intellectually unacceptable "leap" to faith in god - more so than faith in multiple universes, or bubble universes, which can also never be proven?
I recently read Scott Peck's book "The Road Less Traveled" (which I know is dissed by some, but I found to be pretty significant and on-target), and he makes one point that I had often thought of myself, as a 'stumper' re human nature. It seems clear to me that our subconsciences are "wiser", or perhaps, more able to view our psychological/social issues more objectively than our conscience reasoning is able to perceive - this 'wisdom' is often manifested in our dreams, which so often are very astute in sizing up our problems, if that makes sense. I see this with kids, as well - kids seem to have some sort of instinct to attempt to "force" their parents to admit and deal with problematic areas in the family life. Kids do this by "acting out" supposedly secret, or, more likely, simply unadmitted, problems in the family system. They act out as cries for help. (unfortunately, these cries for help are often unheeded) Why is this? Why do our dreams, and our children (who tend to be more open to the subconscience, IMO) point us, as it were, on the road to psychological health? Where is this inner "core" or health coming from?
In essence, as Peck says, there seems to be some sort of drive in the universe itself, in the workings of our minds, to get us HEALTHY. Why, if we are just products of our genes and environments? It seems to me that our genes and environments should not be inherently "wiser" about our problems, if that makes sense, then WE are capable of being. I am not saying that everyone heeds this impulse towards health - in fact, most people seem to live their lives determined to ignore the messages and promptings from their subconscience/and or children, and dogmatically continue on the same path - but even so, in every person or family I've known in this life, there WAS that PUSH to inner health. Why? Where does that come from? Why would our genes care if we are psychologically healthy?
One example from my own life - I have often referred to, on the other board, that dream I had when I got my patriarchal blessing at 19, a convert. I was already fully involved in the mindset of "earning" the celestial kingdom, and already overwhelmed with feelings of worthlessness,hopelessness in the face of the seeming insurmountable task of "perfecting" myself. Yet, one night, in a dramatic fashion, my subconcious mind, through a dream, practically SHOUTED at me - it's about LOVE, dummy!! (briefly, in the dream, I felt intense love when in christ's presence in the pre existence, and only recaptured that overwhelming love/essence again when I bestowed unconditional love upon my child). Why did my subconsious KNOW that I was 'wrong', so to speak, in terms of psychological health, to get caught up on the gerbil/wheel of perfecting myself for god, in mormonism? Why did my mind "know", so to speak, that what I really needed was the peace of self love and acceptance? My childhood was NOT healthy in that aspect, so I certainly did not have left over childhood learnings to guide me. Where did that 'wisdom' come from? And WHY did it come?